Attachment of the child to the mother is a harm or benefit?
Attachment of the child to the mother is its allocation from the crowd, a sign that he treats her better than the others. Children usually very hard going through separation from mother. But is it worth it to try all my free time to devote to the child?
Psychologists divide childhood into several periods, each of which is separation from parents can play a very important role. They can be both positive and negative.
The most dangerous time for lengthy separations from child, which is only 0-6 months. At this age the baby begins to distinguish one person, most often the mother. But if the newborn will be a long time not to see her, can form an attachment to someone else. Emotional state of the mother is also very important because the baby feels everything that the mother experiences. If the woman is very tired and is in a bad mood, of course, she doesn’t want to play with the baby. It is therefore recommended separation for 2 or 3 hours that the mother was able to relax a bit and recharge.
When the child is 8-12 months, he already separated the mother from other family members, hears her voice and feels very strongly about during the separation. He gets nervous, if you lose mom in mind. But in such a situation do not need extended separation about two to three hours a day. It is important that at this time the baby was left with a familiar man. Most likely, the child will cry, but you should not worry much because of this. At this age, such behavior of the kid is quite acceptable.
Age 2 to 3 years is the most difficult period in terms of the attachment of the child to the mother. First, the kid wants to get acquainted closer with the world, secondly, does not want to permanently part with mother. And here we have to choose between them, so as to get both objectives at the same time will not work in any case. During the breakup, the baby will cry and cling to her more than before. This is because now the child understands that when there is mom, the responsibility will have to take. Parting is difficult, not only for baby but for mother. The more the baby cries, the more worried for her mother. And ends this phase all different: if a child is too attached to mom, he will not cry during her departure. And when the parents taught the kid of independence, that he will soon forget this habit.
But how to teach your baby not to cry during a breakup? Here are a few ways:
- be sure to tell your child why and where you are going and when they come;
- before leaving, tell the child 15-20 minutes;
- let the person who will sit with him to come for a couple of hours before that child managed to get used to it;
- try to return as promised to the baby;
- agree with him about what games you play when you get back;
- think of some special phrase of farewell;
- it is not necessary to hope that sobs at the time of your withdrawal will stop immediately, this will not happen, the child will get used to it gradually;
- encourage your child to remain with adults, you first go for a while, but you can gradually increase the time of «disappearance»;
- Express to him any of the collateral: the subject associated with you, looking at him, the child is sure that you will return;
- you should never suddenly disappear, this could further frighten the baby;
- don’t leave it more than a month, if he is not ready for such a separation, it can seriously affect his psyche.
Don’t be afraid to leave child with others. This separation is not only normal, but also very useful for him. Because during your absence, the child learns to be independent.