You’re the hero of this story
Historically, that «narcissistic» is the wrong word. Self-love equates to selfishness, although it is two different things. It is time to finally understand that being in love with yourself — fine. You’re the only person you have. You are alone, always alone. Even the closest people may not know you, but you have to do this!
Unfortunately, many people still do not understand, to dissolve in the other person bad. To abandon his own happiness for the happiness of another person is not the best idea for one simple reason: someone else’s happiness brings only pleasure, but to fully satisfy you can lisio the realization of their own potential and ambitions. It may not appeal to advocates of morality and the defenders of altruism, but that is the ugly truth. You tired to help others to the detriment of their own aspirations? Unable to admit it.
Very often, your sacrifice is not needed at all, and those whom you desperately save don’t appreciate your sacrifice.Another unpleasant thing is the confidence that others know better. Parents, your environment and society as a whole can convince you that you need to go a different route, not the one that you chose for himself. To listen to the opinions of others is important, but don’t need to give them the right to decide important moments in your life. Time cannot be reversed, sometimes making some things happen because they are impossible to harmonize with your present life. The profession which you have chosen for your relatives, you don’t like, draws you in a different education, but you have a serious relationship, and you realize that soon your family expands. Any realization of ambition? Too late for them. And the people remain sad and unsatisfied, because they believed that others know better». Like and people live in peace, and his soul is not in place. We act like the hero of our story is someone else, and not we ourselves.
If you make mistakes then your own. In the future you are no longer going to regret what you have something did not work, and that you haven’t even tried. The history of failures is the best that can be said in a distant age.
How to become the protagonist of their own history, not to vegetate on the sidelines, the funny assistant of the main character? First, learn to say «no» is not rude! Second, to realize that someone else’s opinion shouldn’t affect you. And third, the most difficult to learn to fend for themselves. No, not to beat a muzzle and take a deflection! What will change when you do this? And almost everything!
1. Once it becomes clear who your true friends are
Some live by the principle «You owe me!» Once they helped you, and quite rudely, and now you owe them. What? And anything you want. To follow their advice, buy them a drink and do a number of things you don’t want. You yourself convince yourself that you owe them, even though your moral duty you have paid a few years ago. With interest, as expected.
Several clear «no» will quickly show you they friends or pretend to be because you yourself are sometimes very difficult to understand. After a number of rejections these comrades, indignant, fall behind you like parasites.
2. You deserve respect
So, not worth the village without the righteous, and he is on his hump brings all the insolent. Despite the important role of altruist in the community and the equally important role of an obedient boy, people respect those who are able to refuse or to go their own way. People can twist his temple, but you’ll be treated much better than the eternal helper. People respect those who unselfishly helps everyone… on mind. In fact, they are considered weak, controlled and such riding animals. In my head POPs up an example from school: Botanica, which makes for other homework, tolerated but not respected, while a clever man, who can say «I’m busy, not now» and sometimes they do not get to write off appreciate. We often refuse because they are afraid of hate. Yes, it happens, but if people understand that for you to enter Paradise will not work, they will treat you much better.
3. More free time
Instead, to help a distant cousin that you saw three times in my life, you can go about your business. Some comrades seriously refuse your important things to help others in their small business, they could do themselves. No one calls you not to do something important the next of kin, but if it’s something minor and among all the friends and relatives agreed to this only you, as it suggests.
4. It will change your perspective on many things
All your life you worked for people and now you can work on yourself. You realize that after a failure nothing bad happens. Relatives and friends continue to treat you the same as before, maybe better. You’re not going to convince yourself that you feel good when you’re useful to society. Instead, you’ll realize that seem insignificant selfishness really… normal. He did not selfishness, if you think so. So, these all do!
You will learn to value your time, you may start something to get excited about and understand a very important thing: very often, your sacrifice is useless, and those whom you desperately save don’t appreciate your sacrifice. It reminds our story about feeding the homeless.