You shall not pass: the hardcore computer games

There are games that were created as a weapon of mockery of all the human race. At different times sadistic the developers locked in their cells, forged weapon of mass destruction of nerve cells. But strangely enough, people liked this sadism, because the game became much more interesting. So, tired of the simplicity of the modern game, we have decided to recall, looked like a real sadism.



One of the main frameabilities office plankton of all times and peoples, together with the solitaire. «Minesweeper» is forever, «Sapper» for centuries, «Sapper» — for those who understand. When you open the first cell, all other mines are generated randomly in the other cells. The difficulty is that often the middle of the game field is empty so that it is impossible to guess where mines are located, and where not.

But legendary games will not compete, she’s almost as gorgeous as the game kick in with classmates, which you aim for the face, or piss-moonshine. She doesn’t have gorgeous graphics, but it’s catchy and addictive. And most importantly, it is not necessary to pay.

Only for this blasted farts 10 out of 10.

Flappy Bird


It’s not really a game, more a app for iOS and Android, however, remembering the many let’s play and scream with despair bloggers understand that to miss it is absolutely impossible. Despite its complexity and external primitivism, it is damn addictive. The point of the game, if you remember, was to control a yellow bird soaring in the sky, where you have to Dodge obstacles in the form of pipes, which are located at the top and bottom. The management was even more sensitive crying Cristiano Ronaldo, so often the bird comes to an end after overcoming a few initial hurdles. The developer of this game deleted it from

app stores of Apple and Google Play, but we remember we hate.

7 shout bloggers with 10.


In those days, when the Nintendo Entertainment System (in Russia everyone knew it was only her clone — Dendy) rules of the game world, the trees were large, and the stadiums in 30 billion is absurd, and that’s when games were really challenging and impenetrable. Then, in the 87th year, gamers have only dreamed to fight a lot of enemies, which inevitably increases with each level. And I really wanted to see something realistic, like those militants with Schwarzenegger and Stallone, which was played in the cinemas. At the time Contra seemed to be the reality, fell to consoles.

In modern shooters your character has almost limitless health, and in those hard times the characters die from one shot. Three lives, a machine gun and a few Continue — and that’s all there is to combat the alien invaders. That’s really «bullet time».Pass it could only to the overmind or simply clever Dodger, who introduced the so-called «Konami Code» (a secret key combination: up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start), after which the life was increased 10 times. But even that is not always saved.

10 clones of Schwarzenegger and Stallone 10.

Ghouls’n Ghosts


If anyone still doubts that in those days, doing real hardcore, here’s another confirmation — a very attractive toy called Ghouls’n Ghosts. In fact, in addition to exciting gameplay and hardcore, it was a sea of charm. From the very beginning to your knight in the house breaks the arrogant Demon King, shamelessly takes his wife right out of bed and flies her away. The hero then pulls the armor (as it was possible to show in ‘ 88), jumps up and runs to save her. He’s so brave that even losing armor continues to fight in his underwear. And to lose him was argelaga: jumped on the enemy is not so — got rid of the gun.

Well, if you have reached the end of the level and already stretched out his hands to wring the neck of the Demon King, it was possible to strangle yourself to despair. To kill the king was only possible with the help of special weapons, which had to find on the penultimate level. But if you found it, and won, before you appeared a strange inscription that, well, you’re certainly well done, but sorry, this level was an illusion of the Demon King, and now it will be real meat, so pull your weapon and pass the whole game at a higher difficulty level. A small remark: after the end of the game and not being able to survive, will have to start all over again. After this I wanted to get his hands directly on himself. But what was the diversity and splendor!

9 knightly cowards out of 10.


Well, where do without these wonderful guys. It would seem that some idiot would do frogs play? Found family, and then, in 91-m to year, it is no surprise to anyone. Remember Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which at that time was probably the most popular comic strip characters? It was only a matter of time that someone came up with their amphibians. The most successful was the brainchild of the office Rare, and along with the most popular is, perhaps, the game forgotten genre of beat’em up.

On the game, toad the three enforcers and two new York thugs had to defend the world from space villains. As threats are not only powerful enemies but also risky ways of moving… damn damn level with the bike!!!

The developers did everything to the end you have no more lives, even released the bosses from the first level in the role of ordinary soldiers. A scramble in front of the rocket engines could considerably spoil your health.

Oh yeah, the game has 12 levels with just 3 lives, no saves, and even have friendly fire. Were the Dodgers, who put an infinite number of lives, but it was not. The series has slipped because the next part was done intentionally simplified, but it is not legendary.

10 hipnoza 10.

Hotline Miami

Real sword dance of the day today, done in the style of the day yesterday. Hotline Miami made on the principle of «One shoot — one kill», so the game turns into an endless vortex of death. You almost immediately killed, but after a few dozen deaths you move a millimeter forward. After the thousandth death, you start to more or less focus, and then the game turns and does a dance with weapons, fascinates with its bloody and extremely sharp and fast movement around the map. In General, the sharpness and speed has largely been the reason for a lethal outcome, but what is that in the domestic parody Bloodbath Kavkaz is not afraid to die, and even habitually, and it seems perfectly normal.

8 pig masks out of 10.

Super Meat Boy


Super Meat Boy trying to save his band-aid girl from the clutches of the evil Dr. Fetus has become one of the gems of the indie genre. This game is very long and used for a very long time it mastered. Each level of this 2D platformer is dotted with circular saws and lakes of lava, this time it is impossible to recover somewhere from mid-level — just like in the good old consoles. Therefore, the process of the game looks something like this: ran the meter died. More meter died. Yet — again twenty-five. And all under mate choice plays.

At the end of the sadistic developers to pour oil on the itchy moral wounds, will show a video of all your deaths, that is, the film length to infinity, where a piece of meat, gliding in his own blood, tries to squeeze between saws. Just wonderful.

10 bloody jets 10.

The Universe Souls

From a series in which the passage of at least one level of achievement.

When I got out of Dark Souls, video game masochists applauded. In this challenging RPG sadistic game just to survive is one great achievement. The medieval Gothic in a sophisticated design with subtle hints of Japanese flavor, in addition to its beauty surprised the current mental state after passing. The person who plays this game, more like a patient with Tourette’s syndrome, because the bosses kill you with two blows, on mental health positively affected.


In Bloodborne, nothing has changed in terms of difficulty, but changed in appearance: the hero walks not in the cuirass and helmet with open visor, and the cocked hat and cloak, instead of a heavy shield, a shotgun, and around — a wonderful, incredibly beautiful and sinister yellow-purple city Arnam.

But the real fans say, they say, your «Dark soulz» and «Bloodborne» — it’s fun for children. True professionals play the first game universe Souls — demon’s Souls. It provoked more failures disks and controllers than the followers.

10 dead knights 10.

Microsoft Flight Simulator

Simulator aircraft Microsoft Flight Simulator steeper simply not to find, for decades he was checked for lice including these pilots.

Affects the thoroughness of the developers, the bytes collected real dash and hundreds of aircraft that fly like the real thing. In fact, this realism is the main difficulty of the game. Pass it in a hurry, and anyhow will not work, will have to sweat and feel nervous, especially on takeoff and landing. But if mastered can ask for a pilot’s license.

10 broken planes from 10.

Ninja Gaiden


The original version of Ninja Gaiden was one of the most difficult games of its time in the late ‘ 80s, and the developers from Team Ninja has done everything to modern Ninja Gaiden remained true to its roots.

The tempo here is 10 times faster than in «Dark Souls», while the bosses — are incredibly complex. However, normal mobs, cowardly attacking you not one, but an avalanche of great joy do not give.

The main character of this adventure Thriller acts Ryu Hayabusa who fights villains with the help of weapons and magic. No two-handed axes, shields and heavy armor of the Ryu, there is only a light dress of a ninja, loyal katana and a few shuriken. But he doesn’t have any guarantee that you will not freak out and won’t stop playing.

However, there is one assignment in this game. If you die enough times, you will politely ask, would you like to reduce complexity. You do not need to consider yourself a damage, this title popping up every.

8 shuriken with 10.

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