Why people cheat
It is difficult to understand, especially if your girlfriend cheated on you. What is the reason? Usually in itself. «She changed, because she is a prostitute,» and that’s it. Beyond that our thoughts do not go, they stop, because the truth often hurts, and we already hurt. Much easier to blame it on other than seeing part of her in himself. What if I told you that the reason of her betrayal — is that you? You’re just a loser with a small dick that sits ass in dead-end low-paid work who can’t contain who can’t hold a conversation and not interested in anything? Unpleasant, Yes? Because all of these items can’t be true because it is impossible to blame one of you. Men cheat and women cheat too. Cheating as such is not dependent on gender.
Open your eyes
The problem is that we rush to quickly point a finger at another and say he is guilty, rather than to analyze the causes of his infidelity. Maybe it played a major role in our actions: what if you just pushed the friend towards temptation?
Accusing and hanging on her labels, you won’t get anywhere and nobody will look deeper into the problem — and this, incidentally, will help you to prevent its recurrence in the future.
Each one thinks that he, in General, is not a bad person. It is not necessary to change, and he will never change friend. The result of the betrayal of partners to accompany him throughout his life, the problem does not disappear. Interesting trend: as a rule, people who change, suffer from this almost all their relations. They complain that all partners are constantly deceiving them. Why?
The answer is that…
If man is created in monogamous, why did he change? The answer is quite simple. People cheat not because they’re whores or bitches. For treason there are two main reasons: the physical sexual attraction and emotional need.
Usually people cheat because there is a conflict between physical and emotional desires. Accepting and realizing these shortcomings, not ignoring them, we can try to enough to satisfy our friend in these two aspects. So we reduce the probability of conflict, then we don’t have any regrets. As well as her.
Slaves of instincts
The question you need to ask yourself is simple: what is stronger? Which of these two desires noticeable impact on your life? In General, everyone is different, but most of all we are guided by our sexual desires.
Why? Because sexual desire led us over millions of years, while emotional monogamy came to dominate human culture only within the last several thousand years — and not all regions of the world. It is obvious that the thousand-year history the emotional needs shouldn’t outweigh the millions of years of sexual desire.
Throughout history, men have argued that their biological nature is the desire several partners. However, over time, became accepted practice to choose one partner to help him raise a child around this tradition has grown a moral code that is contrary to our physical needs.
People by nature are not monogamous, and when we make a choice to be faithful, but there are no necessary conditions, we doom ourselves to failure and frustration.
You already remembered that? 10,000 years in a conventional monogamous behavior can outweigh the millions of years of physical evolution. Only keeping in mind this knowledge, we can overcome our weaknesses.
Human life consists of two aspects: the body, controlled physical instincts and the strongest of these two aspects (according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs), mind (emotional needs). To understand how physical instincts interact with the emotions, we must do a few comparisons.
Imagine that physical sexual human instinct (men and women) is an uncontrollable natural force, like a stream of water, and the only thing that can control him is the dam. Dam is our decision to become monogamous. It will only work if the Foundation of the dam is strong enough. If it has weak spots, «water» will break anyway «the dam».
In short, people assumed the very difficult (but doable) obligations when they decided to be monogamous. To control my sexual instincts, we need emotional support from our regular partner, though strong enough to keep in check our natural needs.
What conditions will help to strengthen the dam? The relationship was stable, we need to understand what we’re up against.
1. Physical attraction
Partner doesn’t seem sexually attractive
Try to maintain good physical shape — at least one in which you were when you first met. Joint training is a great pastime for couples: it diversifies the leisure and allows you to stay attractive for each other.
Much easier to have sex with another person
To satisfy the sexual desires of his girlfriend. Even if you do not really want.
With a partner you can have sex now
Try not to hold far away from each other for a long time. A couple of weeks to go on a business trip is one thing, but if we are talking about a few months, it almost inevitably leads to infidelity.
Sexual life it is necessary to diversify, to make it rich and interesting. So your friend will look forward to next time and wonder what you’ll come up with now. It will take her thoughts and give her to dream about someone else.
She feels that you appreciate her
You can do all the sex in the world, but if she doesn’t feel that you appreciate, respect, desire, love, admire her, she will always look for someone who will give it to her. And when she gets a man, he won’t even have to particularly try.
You got bored
Sex is interesting, physically you’re fine, but emotionally you are estranged from each other. Mood, a sense of community — all this can be boring. Make your routine, do something new, to spend time together was interesting.
What is missing in your relationship
Just because you’re happy doesn’t mean your partner feels the same way. The only way to know for sure is to talk to her. Couples need each week to allocate some time to discuss their relationship, their positive and negative sides. Remember: your doctor won’t know you’re sick until you tell him. As your partner, will help you if he doesn’t know about your problem?
Nothing is eternal under the Moon
When a person submits to the temptation, he might forget what attracted his partner to lose the feeling of that special chemistry, that blind admiration, which was in the beginning. It is an illusion to believe that relationships can last forever and eventually gets better. However, to focus only on the negative and make friend feel miserable, she had to go find satisfaction somewhere on the side, also not the case.
Cheating is easy. The relationship is difficult. Cheating guarantees us instant emotional and mental pleasure. Relationships need to keep, take care of them and pay attention to them, to trust your partner and communicate with him to grow together.
If you’re attracted to the other person, admit it to yourself and your friend. You have to be honest. To lie but then again lying is a bad idea, it will only cause pain. Look at your relationship closely before you seek happiness with another person.
Also remember that new people will ask you the same effort. Whatever it seemed the green grass, it still needs to be watered and cut, so the lawn looked good. Something to think about next time in the office will smile to you lovely friend.