What you need to remember when dealing with unreliable people
Each of us has a friend (or you yourself, that asshole), always an hour late or consistently fed «breakfasts» and promises, which damn not execute. And no matter how many times he failed you, you still give him one hundredth last opportunity after another Chinese warnings. This time will be different, because this time it is very important. And he never you will not throw, because it can not be so irresponsible asshole. But then… the man’s success proves the opposite! Their fault or because of circumstances, but each of us had to deal with such people. And in order to save your emotional strength and nerves, when dealing with such instances, you need to remember that…
1. A small request – a huge pain in the ass
Asking for help is always difficult, after all, so you admit some degree of self-misery. You car breaks down, money will not be until the next paycheck, so with clenched teeth, call a friend and ask if he can drive you to work until the end of this week. As a «normal» one it is, of course, agrees, because that’s what friends are for. Maybe for you, this request seems trivial and doable, but it can really ruin the day for him: even if he lives only five minutes away from you, now he will have to get out of bed your schedule, wash, dress, and plan a route, to spend on gasoline, as is likely, with you he won’t take money. In short, due to the fact that you just did not care about ordinary inspection, your friend forced you to do things you do not want to, because it is extremely simple to postpone leaving the house until the very last second, and maybe late. You seems to be not so insolent to make such observations because he’s doing you a favor, and that you have not had time to work, is it not, in fact, a problem.
But on the other hand, you have a reason to be angry, after all, if one is unable to arrive on time, then he should just refuse to help. Then at least you would be able to calculate the time to get to work on foot or by public transport. Let this situation – particularly, but its essence remains the same under any scenario. You have to understand that you, and the one who assists is likely to make it through the force. And if he’s not ready for that, probably, your plans will go down the drain.
2. People can’t say «no»
It seems that this problem is familiar to everyone: if someone needs help, you can’t refuse, if able to this aid. Of course, except that you will be asked to take a hundred Grand to decorate the booth of your favorite dog diamonds. All considered within reason. You must clearly draw the line that will mark the boundaries of aid that was at odds with its own interests or well-being. If you are chock loaded themselves with all sorts of charity that will never be more important than paid work or peaceful relations in the family and could not cope with it stupid because of lack of time, you automatically turn into a soulless animal that nothing in this life is not interested, but himself.
And hang the worst labels family members, if you promised, but not in time to do something, because of the occurrence of the more important things that pushed their request by the wayside. A simple and polite refusal could solve problems, but damn hard to say no when what you are asking, it seems quite doable. So, if you encountered such a person, is a little unfair to rely on double standards. In any case, unrestrained promise is a characteristic of any irresponsible YAP, even if the failure to justify the circumstances. Promised – do it. Doubt – don’t promise.
3. Think about a backup plan B and a plan just in case plan X, which will not participate your friends
If you’re planning an important event, then you understand how to have a backup plan. Even if contact person is not convicted of the grounds, there is always the human factor to consider. To deal with this type of friends is relatively easy. Another thing – chronic throwing. Such you never should include in the plan B, not to mention any other. If among your acquaintances there is a person who constantly lets you down, his irresponsibility and unreliability should be taken into account in this regard. And in any case, when it is to their reputation, will have no one to blame but himself.
4. Changing this behavior can take years. Of course, if there is a desire to change
If you just met someone, do not expect that he will rush to your aid at the first call. Of course, you can have fun together, but sacrificing your day to help live your until it is not included. And this is understandable. With the consolidation and maturation of friendship it changes help or even a simple arrival on time are now a kind of indicators of respect, or, at least, a symptom of indifference. Unfortunately, not all are able to change, and if we can, then this process may take a lot of time. Deeply entrenched traits, change that is extremely difficult, even if the person wants to change.
Therefore, if the actions of friends affect your plans, from their point of view they did nothing wrong. Just some individuals are not able to see beyond their «bubble». In their personal world of peace and order and that they are somewhere out there late, having other things on them personally has no effect. And broken promises do not bring them problems, and since there are no problems, then there is no need to change anything just for the sake of friendship.
5. Some people are just inherently incorrigible assholes
They are constantly trying to piss you life and ruin everything they touch. Find out them and break up forever.