What to do with the gifts of the former



Hi, drugged. Mad respect for all that you do. Recently read on your website the article about the separation and found no article that could be useful, and maybe not only me: «What should I do with the gifts of the former?»

For example, I recently broke up with my girlfriend. Went peacefully and quietly, and, as such, even remained friends. If it was Vice versa, then the question would have disappeared, and all the memorabilia would have gone in the trash. So what to do?

The answer

Hey, buddy. All the best to you, good mood and health. Good that you appealed to us, because as one friend of the Professor of literature: «any question I am ready to give any response». So let’s start. You brought us a great idea for an article, because on this subject we do nothing, because the problem really exists. It is not easy to solve. After all, the things that make memories, can have monstrous strength, and even affect reality.

As family psychologists and experts in the field of interpersonal relationships are most often recommended to get rid of these items once and for all. They explain this by the fact that the gifts of the former can cause serious problems in the relationship with the new girl. It is unlikely you already have, but if will, not be thrilled with all sorts of gifts from another. A new friend will think that you’re not faithful to her completely, there was a part of you that secretly wants to back. This opinion may not be relevant to reality, but she will, trust me. And, like, it would be logical to throw everything away, turn the page of life and move on. But we don’t think is ideal.In fact, if you get rid of these gifts, then erase part of his past. Important in case, if the relationship was serious. When you wash the past, then tear off pieces of your personality that make you who you are. It does not go unnoticed, because what it helps us throughout life. Frankly, it is an integral part of life itself. You mustn’t forget that, even if the memories are painful.

On the other hand, relationships are different. If you walked with a girl a couple of months, and then dumped her (or she you), it is likely the power of memories is not so significant to affect your life. Gifts left it will be simple stuff that you have laying around in the apartment. In this case, wait a couple of months, and then come back to them. Or things that evoke some emotion? If not, throw out, or give it to someone else — can be useful. If the gift is useful for home, farm, then leave it. You never know, maybe a friend gave you some drill and throw it stupid. The worst thing you can do is to return all gifts to the former — there is no nobility. You just take the burden and complicate her life. But, I think you have even thought this was not, so back to the topic.If practical gifts we figured, why keep things that can give you only memories? When you’re 20, you really don’t need. Your life is bright, quick, find a dozen friends, old won’t even remember. But the closer to the end, the more often you turn to his biography. Every piece of the memories becomes important to you. Perhaps you yourself were a witness to this. Remember how your grandfather used to tell about his youth. It took everything just not to lose that sense of power that he had. Of course, he hardly told you about the relationship he had throughout life, but no doubt — he remembers the most. Old people dreaming of the past, because being old sucks. So, leaving such gifts, you contribute to its future. When young, you will be pleased to remember the girl that was once you. Even if you have a beautiful wife, you still will like to have these memories. From this point of view, it is better to keep some junk, at least partially. Buy yourself a small suitcase or box that can be locked with a combination lock or a key and put it in there. Maybe you haven’t opened that box in another thirty years, but later you’ll thank us for this advice. Also we would advise you to back up memories journal is helpful, believe me.

You need to show the contents of your new girls? Why? Some things affect only you and no one else.

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