What I learned on growing up without a father

ditinstvo without dad

Like millions of people around the world, I grew up in a single-parent family. My parents divorced when I was still in kindergarten. My dad drank, beat my mother and made her life hell. After they broke up, my older sister would sometimes visit my dad on weekends. But when we grew older, it somehow slipped away from us, and eventually even moved to another city without even saying goodbye. At that time I was about ten.

Since then we more never heard of him, he didn’t even send us cards on the birthday. After that, we had not seen for ten years, and it turned out that the most important for identity formation years of my life was not my father.

Mother it was hard to raise us, we lived in a small abundance, while the mother tried to make ends meet. It is very difficult, and boy it’s hard to grow up without a father.

Statistics of single-parent families makes us believe that every boy growing up in a single-parent family, eventually becomes a drug addict, an alcoholic, gets out of jail, or just grows a loser, but not even close. Due to growing up without a father I felt her bad influence, turned into quite a successful person and believe that positive actions can change lives.

I learned many things while growing up. And that’s why.

1. The fact that you have a child doesn’t make you a father

That is literally you’re the biological father: you gave birth to a child. But in the eyes of a child you become dad. This title must be earned by the support (moral and financial), the fact that you’re around. You will not be the baby father if you don’t have a lot of work will not come to his aid when he is gonna need you.

2. A man should be independent

It is impossible to depend on anyone, to trust your life to someone else. At any time people can disappear from your life. Fortunately, I realized this at an early age: life taught me very early that nobody will make my dreams come true for me, no one else will provide me with everything necessary, no one will insure and bring me everything on a silver platter.

In the modern world we no longer need to hunt and to engage in gathering in order to survive. Independence filled with new content: now we are talking more about prosperity than about survival. In our days you can be independent in the following ways.

Get a good education

Any open to different cultures, themes, points of view and people in General. The more things you know, what with the big themes are familiar, the more different situations you can handle. Develop many and varied skills that employers will appreciate and other people.

Never let fear stop themselves

Fear is perhaps the biggest obstacle for most people. He does not allow us to achieve success, he does not allow us to get what he wants, he makes us to be dependent on other people.

3. A man does not become of age

By law the age of majority is 18 years and you immediately begin to considered a man, but it’s just a formality. You become a man thanks to the experience and the opportunity to learn from this experience. Who needs another decade after eighteen to become a man.

These things will help you to become a man:

  • to take responsibility for failures;
  • to stop resisting and to learn from mistakes;
  • to learn to deal with different situations stopping inappropriate reactions to them, and develop the right attitude;
  • to learn more about himself.

4. In life you have to find your own path, not follow someone

I can’t understand why so many young guys decide to do the same as did their parents their entire lives. Maybe you think it’s easy for me to say so, because my father was an alcoholic. Yes he was, but he still worked — he was an engineer. Often the children of engineers become engineers.

Any work worthy of her to do, and if you really like the profession of your father, then that’s great. But I wanted to choose something completely different, something more exciting, something to me in my family did. Find unexplored trails.

5. Sometimes the moral power more important than physical

Our muscles don’t matter if the soul we are weak. If you want to be a real man and a man of action, not do only one pass to the gym and thanam weight. A real man protects the weak, stands up for his beliefs, looks into the face of fear, failure and criticism. He is not afraid of responsibility and goes through.

6. Your example does not have to be your father

If your father left the family, if you don’t want to be like him, find the man you’re proud to call father. Every man needs a father figure, even when he becomes an adult. Not necessarily know the man personally, he does not have to be alive. The most successful people left behind a rich legacy in books, inventions, business. Read, watch, follow their advice. Let them be your example.

You have to have comrades and friends. You have to be in a healthy male environment.

What is and what is not a man

I’m kinda even proud of the fact that grew up without a father because they have got many lessons. This experience has done for me is absolutely clear the difference between a boy and a man.

The man is not…

  • one who runs from responsibility.
  • one who is looking for excuses.
  • the one who uses force to women.
  • those who are selfish.

The man is…

  • one who defends their beliefs, even if it is not supported.
  • he who goes on his way.
  • who is open for everything new.
  • the children who deservedly is called the father.
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