What can we learn from the films of Kevin Smith

Charming fat man Kevin Smith someone known primarily as a talented stand-up comedian. Indeed, his stand-UPS that are more like autobiographical stories, very few people can remain indifferent. But a wide range it is known for its provocative, funny movies. Someone humor Smith’s strange and even unpleasant, and someone not to show off and enjoy his interesting and instructive tapes. Because it removes not only Comedy. But even in these comedies a lot more sense and the unpleasant truth, than in all the domestic film industry.

Dogma

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There are places that really worse than Hell.

– They were banished to hell?

Worse… in Wisconsin.Dogma is full of mockery of religion. The film literally consists of studs, which guards the robe is not a sin to be offended. But there is one phrase that absolutely accurately and clearly describes the activities of some organizations. Nothing funny in it, rather sad. Indeed, maybe the Lord sends on our heads unhappiness just because we are led to the filth perpetrated by people acting on His behalf?

The only thing God is offended on people, it’s for filth perpetrated in his name.Some consider this film a kind of digression into the divine world along with the great «divine Comedy». Know than an angel differs from a human? Kevin Smith will tell you.

Angels differ from humans lack of free will.And all because:

«If we have free will, we would have forgotten about all how people. But no, we are servants».

MetatronApparently, Smith in childhood, except the comics (which, by the way, just loved and loves still), loved the myths and legends of ancient peoples, whose gods had the same traits as humans. And copulated with such ryanostyu that people had for them to blush.

Hey! What is it?

God? Lonely, funny, with a great sense of humor. Take the sex. There’s nothing funnier than your stupid faces during intercourse.

– The sex jokes?

– As far as I know, and on Earth too.By the way, if you didn’t know, God is Alanis Morisette is a singer with malocclusion and family «Grammy». Smith simply adored the song, Morisette, in his understanding, she could only play deity.

In Arkhangelsk-the divine shop is also not the first time it turns out. To achieve relative perfection, you need to spend a few Adams.

By the way, if God is Alanis Morisette, why nothing happens to me when I listen to her mediocre songs?

Persons either physically or psychologically not capable of withstanding the boundless power of the true voice of the Lord. You hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart exploded. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out.Golden words. Without faith is very difficult.

Doesn’t really matter what you believe. The main thing is just to believe.You for watching! So drop the Bong, turn off the porn and behave!

All of your antics documented in heaven, maybe in hell!Even if you’re an artist or a king, this does not exempt you from military duty, dummy!

– So, you were an artist… what? And Elvis was an artist! But this did not prevent him to go and fight in the war. Therefore, he is the king and you… dummy.And Miley Cyrus.

God also has a sense of humor. Take the platypus.Movies of Kevin Smith’s Jay and Silent Bob is fine, and the movies with them just a masterpiece. So, guy, if you don’t know where to find the girl, get the advice of a professional.

We figured, where to meet, how to not have abortion clinics? Once Chicks are here, that means like to fuck.It is in «Dogma» appeared legendary image, buddy Christ with a bright smile and standing in a pose «you can pass all the exams, baby.»

Jesus was hearty! Classroom.Angels have no anus. And something either. Well, the front hanging… Alan Rickman is a guarantee.

– Let the language wither said your ass corrosive not able to sit through pearl!

– A metaphor well… I have no anus.By the way, to drink alcohol, they also can not. Sad but true.

A bit of harsh truth for our readers.

– You need to make a living. Need a man, at least for 10 minutes.

– In my experience, the average male is never a man even 10 minutes in my life.

– You have decided to change the orientation?

– Do not go. Women – hysterical.After death you will be a very interesting exercise. It’s a pity to watch. Their dead hands you will dissolve.

– Know what dead most of the time? They’re watching live. Especially when they are taking a shower.

Class, I want to die!

Jay and Silent Bob strike back

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To distinguish true love is easier than you think.

She told me to «fuck off» even once, and even spray tear gas did not reach. You know, the fat one, is love.This is why many see the face of Jay before cunnilingus.

I am the master of the Clit! Where is the clitoris where you could see this face!Thanks Jay, we learned that there is a special kind of snakes. Very cunning of the serpent, by the way.

– Tell me, do you love snakes?

– Of course. You can not not love animals just because they cannot be ironed.

– A Trouser snake?

– What these are?

Oh, yeah…This sleek rechetativa teaches nothing, but is it possible not to include in this collection?

Bitch fucking bitch fuck! Fuck, bitch, shit, bitch, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Smoke dope,

Fool Schmal,

When the wind blows Coca drink beer! Drink! Drink!

The schools fucking sell!

Who sells?

We sell!

No money –

Debt give!Never insult the music of the 80s. Otherwise it is possible to meet real fans of stylish pimp and a black servant.

Don’t roll cylinders on the group «Time». Me and Silent Bob my whole fucking life is copied from the Morris day Jerome. I moved on sex stylish pimp and the fat man – my black servant. Okay?Knowing looks at the camera Matt Damon and Ben Affleck after some phrases indicate one thing — with friends you can play and free.

Just think, «Jay and Silent Bob» in movies! Who will go on this shit?George Carlin clearly showed that hitchhiking is much more dangerous than it might seem.

– Zapadlo. Why no one is lucky?

Because not catch.

– The driver must somehow be interested.

– As in?

– At least for now. «Blowing the driver.»

– So, what happens if you take and you don’t suck? You will roll up in asphalt?

– Of course, if you don’t suck… So. If you need to drive a couple hundred miles across country, I even swallow.

– Yes, but we are not gay.

– What are you a hillbilly? New Millenium. Hey, Hey. All have been equalized. There are no boundaries.

«Clerks» and «Clerks 2»

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A great motivation to quit Smoking. Very, very reasonable.

– 53 dollars a week on cigarettes? Seriously? You would pay someone that much money every week to kill you? That’s exactly what you’re doing when you pay for the so-called privilege to smoke!

– All the same someday we’ll die…

– Of course, we all have to die someday, but do we have to pay for it?There is nothing in life more enjoyable. Try it, you’ll like it.

There is nothing more pleasant than to tell people their faults, isn’t it?Similarly, you can describe almost any domestic film.

And you have, well, this movie, with the actor, who starred in that movie that came out a year ago?This slogan places all points over «i» in the plan. So don’t be surprised.

What they serve you, doesn’t mean they care about you.Still, Smith understands that love. Another tip from the Maestro on how to recognize the one.

Dude, there are millions of beautiful girls, but they don’t all bring you lasagne to work. Most will be stupid to change.The perfect way to dispel his boredom.

In fact, biblical themes, Smith was concerned not only in Dogma. Strongly pushed godly book in the «Clerks-2».

You ought to read your Bible, sir, you’ll find a bunch of supernatural shit. For example, you know that Jesus was a Jew?Randall taught us not to focus on all sorts of gentle heresy. Learn to recognize the really important things.

– Feel?

What?

– Today is the first day of our remaining life.

Tusk

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What did we learn from «Tusk»? Nothing, I just was gonna slay generation unpunished Joker. And quite creepy. In the end, it is better to do the normal thing, to laugh at the idiot freak. Well, the fact that johnny Depp can make up so that the mother does not know. By the way, throws the idea. «Walrus leather» is perhaps the best name for a punk rock band.

Chasing Amy

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The slogan of this film: «No matter who you love. Important – how!» In fact, the entire film is built around this idea. It is not devoid of humor, even if there is no such, quite frankly, «see fart jokes», like in «Clerks».

Although the film is in its own way instructive. For example, he teaches how to earn easy money.

Selling the rights to his image even more profitable sale of marijuana.This phrase about the «comic book Where Chronicles» which were written off with the characters Jay and Silent Bob.

And a little bit about the imaginary world.

– Look, it’s a four-way intersection, and right in its center lies a brand new crisp $ 100 bill. At the end of each street for one person. Are you following? Great. Here we have loving men, pleasant in all respects a lesbian. And here at the bottom is a lesbian, hates men and feisty as hell. Here’s Santa Claus. And up here the Easter Bunny. Who was the first to grab the 100 dollar bill? Good lesbian, mean lesbian, Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny?

– An angry lesbian.

– Right. Why? Because the other three, stupid, exist only in your imagination!By the way, in this film, Silent Bob says one of the longest monologues.

Zack and Miri make a porno

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The most atypical film by Smith. Netipichnaya only «Tusk». What the film – you can guess from the title.

It is useful at least because it has been told and shown about such an exquisite way of perversion, as «Dutch rudder».

I hope you will not mind, I think I’m just a jerk Lester.

– The Dutch rudder?

Yes, it’s true, genius.

– Ask me and I’ll make it your life.

– Well, I’m tired with a flashlight to fuck.

– Did you fuck him?

Yes.

– How was it?

If flashlight fucking.And such a sad fact that free Boobs, alas, does not happen.

I wanted a free look at Boobs and all. But free Boobs does not happen… Really, Zach?Well, at worst, that black annoying is not necessary.

– Excuse me, pour me a coffee, black.

— You see we talking, white.