Uzhratsya in a hundred: part 1
Even Castaneda wrote that the use of hard substances without an experienced guide like death. The old Shaman did not lie. However, sometimes when anxious soul must pass the bridge over the abyss, to go with bare hands against the huge powerful snake or just throw ourselves on the mercy of adventures, or simply to drink, is not the right amount of funds. Given the current dollar exchange rate, the noble drinks are becoming more available. However, the market economy and local producers think of you, and so prepared a wide range of drinks at Communist prices. Spit on the inferiority of the product is important to its efficiency.
Timur Shaov in his «Ode to beer» sang: «Drink shmurdyak, my friend, is immoral. Beer drinking is an honor, old man». Although the difference between «Baltika 9» and shmurdyak nobody found. On that fateful day when twilight genius of the Petersburg brewing guessed that remained in the beer vats, which are about to expire shelf life, you can just dilute with alcohol, white light is officially out evil. Red label as it suggests you possible bloody burp. After all, the color that symbolizes danger.
How much can you drink:an Amazing drink. Someone missing 2/3 of the bottle to see the new, happy life, and someone and after three vials of 0.5 is good, as after a glass of juice. The paradox of this slurry is that the forces against flies with half of the bottle, while toothless, pyatidesyatimetrovy ghoul with scoliosis are able to drink without shame and consequences of all 4.
Taste: the Taste is reminiscent of the lack of money, poverty, broken dreams, anxiety, youth, search of adventures on his furry ass. In General, all the reasons why you chose of all the monotonous diversity at the beer counter this nectar. Thick enough taste that makes the beer almost neprosmatrivaemye. First, a very nice drink, but the further you go, the harder it is. The stomach cries, «Enough!» – brain promise you all that: no rebate on exams, time to say witty things to make the right decisions – in short anything you did not drink. But the most important thing is not to finish the bottle to the end, and homage to the street tradition to leave a symbolic liquid on the bottom because there were all sorts of evil.
How to drink:a drink of the proletariat, it is ideal for a night walk through the historic center of the city. However, this walk can be expensive in one way, because malevolent ushers will pick up your lifeless body. It is recommended to drink in the hallways, on the playgrounds. If you want cheap as possible and quickly turn his flesh to randomly rotate laposte helicopter, it is better to «nine» is not found. Solder the lady «nine» is not worth it, unless you want to master it with a cotton body and get to bed.
In fact, this beer is the choice for those for whom classic beer with 4.2% – the same as water who wants feelings and emotions from all the drinking. For those who do not niggle.
Snack:Seeds, cheap chips, crackers, dried fish. Food should not interrupt the taste of beer. How did you know this beer is not for soirees. This beer is for pleasant time in the shade of the trees.
What plus: an Unforgettable cascade of emotions, impressions and actions is waiting for anyone who chose this elixir of death. Well, if you’re lucky, maybe vivid memories will remain with you. In short, great, fun, exciting! Even the process of drinking.
By the way, this is the perfect cure for a hangover. Let Voland and other vermin hangover stack and a hot entrée. A real yard an aristocrat should put it in the medicine Cabinet to get a potion at the right time.
Minus: the «nine». Her hangover, her taste, her power. In large power – large impact.
«Blazer» as if created for young people: bright, bold, flashy. Will make life brighter in all senses, coloring in the bright colors of the rainbow. A drink romantic existential youth come from 2007. Still unforgettable «Satan bakes pancakes,» sang cherry «nectar» in his song «Cherry blazer». However, over time, from the elixir of youth sad it turned into a really popular drink that is buy and students, nervously holding out a brief hundred-ruble note in his sweaty palm, and drunks who want a holiday and a cocktail. Yes, this is exactly what the cocktail. The manufacturer claims that on the basis of beer.
But we tend not to trust him.
How much can you drink:I’m biased to this nectar. Your humble servant drank the bitter trash that is in the liquid state. I more or less drank Riga balsam, but couldn’t drink more than half Cup of the cherry «blazer». This was my first and only acquaintance with a drink since 2007. After drinking I almost did not back in 2007, because I really wanted to cry. I don’t understand how it can be drink. He fits except as a tool of natural selection. But the «blazer» there are two big pluses: the price and bright colors that attract all consonants, in order to feel like adults, students like a flower bee. One bottle sweet Gigi is more than enough for two immature minors in the liver and one propitous. Anyway, somehow I found a trashy drunk who sits on the porch of the store and opens a bottle of Apple «ambrosia». Half an hour later I came back the same way and saw this drunk in a very indecent kind that lies in a pool of his own gastric masses (by the way, he ate corn), but the bottle was still slightly less than a quarter. Although it would seem, 6.7 rpm. But once it was at 8.8.
Taste: If bull urine add alcohol and dissolve in it a cherry sucker, you get a «blazer». In a word, worse taste only unfolds a Sparrow, I believe.
How to drink: Fun, «Amatory», complaining to the nurse with a folder, say, they do not understand, telling that it would be nice to commit suicide and lamenting that September was burned, and the killer has still not toplocal. It in the beginning. And then alcoholic masses themselves will weave the thread of the conversation. You need to drink in large SIPS, small SIPS. And preferably chilled. A big mistake many patients warm «blazer». Cold is less felt a sickening smack. Although it will be felt.
To eat, and would seem to need chocolate or fruit, but it is only in the case that solder «beautiful fairy». Best unpleasant taste can kill a good meal, a cold shower and the floor never to drink. But we choose the proletarian snacks so crackers and chocolate makers. Well, if you want to be absolutely precise, without a snack! He is so sweet.
What plus a Fun cocktail! Someone delicious. Unusual.
Minus: Old diarrhea, retching instead of the finish, the total destruction of the liver, because dyed spirtyaga for her, perhaps even worse than «Baltika 9». And in the morning you fall into the arms of the weakness of his Majesty the Hangover.
3. Grape day
Grape day is a grind
For the money bought booze-Oh-Oh-Oh
Grape day… and shit.
I told you, durgaa-a-a-AAM».
VIA «Grape day» «Vine of the day»the people affectionately known as «D-Day». Polyglots and pontavice prefer foreign «Grapes Day» or, as they say in Vologodina, «Graphiste». Another passion of young proletarians. As «blazer», was the victim of an experiment with antifreeze and beer with the use of a large number of colors and flavors with spooky delicious alcohol. In spite of 8.9%, easy to drink, like good wine. Joke. It’s even worse «blazer». Although the manufacturers write that the basis of beer. However, as these winemakers, producers «Vine of the day» treat their consumers in three flavors: VD, VD, white, pink VD.
Actually, in those one and a half liters of happiness hidden fear and pain of the human. Watch out, the suffering alcoholic! Although in the field of cheap booze, he almost has no equal. Quickly, effectively, not without consequences.
There are other «Days»: tropical, pomegranate, orange, lemon, strawberry, pineapple guava, gin and tonic and even such masterpieces as the mythical bread day and peanut day. However, the last two has not been seen, although the prayer list Easter and Christmas wishes, they were among the three most popular that talks about how many people love and appreciate VD. However, if you want to know the essence of a delicious and inexpensive drink, then take the blue VD. This is for those who understand.
How much can you drink: One or two bottles of VD give the balls very well and you turn… no, not in the sex and solar empowerment by and something terrible, barely lives. The drink is, frankly, stunning and sends to the Bacchus of even the strongest.
Taste:Some compare the taste of VD with the Cup. Yes,he has a pretty pleasant grape smell chemical, and the first two SIPS are easy. Then the brain realizes that was wrong when I advised you this masterpiece of chemical ideas, and is trying to dissuade from suicide. But you just start to feel unpleasant aftertaste, which disappears after a half drunk bottle. You brain already anyway. Liver you still do not listen.
How to drink: This drink is often drunk together with such proletarian simple drinks like vodka, «777», and such noble Beers as «Ochakovo», «Baltika 9», «Hunting strong». Largely because of this efficiency VD grows exponentially. It would be best to drink VD from the bottle because it’s even more proletarian drink than the port. So while the aesthetes with an armful of lion Feuchtwanger sitting, leaning back in a chair by a roaring fire, you sit on a chair, take a SIP of VD and read a copy of «Mein Kampf». Although the right thing in the yard to blow poltorashku brother in the company of educated, intelligent companions, to incorporate grindcore and manage to have fun until until the stomach decides that VD and all its contents it’s time to exit.
What is a plus: Price, efficiency and, of course, design. He, like Virgil, who tells you its Dante, in this hellhole is still very early to discover that you are still too young and not ready to die, and you still live and live.
Minus: unfortunately, the flavor is not digested by the body, so waste products will have a pronounced grape aroma. You can consider it a plus – it’s your business. But about the other cons I remind you will not – the same as the «blazer». And, in the end, not a little, he will guess that you do treacherous dyes and drisla that in the best years was worth 50 rubles.
As they say, a Russian port – senseless and merciless. About how port wine «777» destroys the bark and wood of the brain, eloquently tells a fragment of the main popularizer of the product in the post – Soviet space- the movie «Green elephant».
– Well, I’m Berdyansk then I remember… there is the sea, like the Black sea is Azov? Can’t remember anything like Azov… There I..l b…s! Climbed naked into the sea and…l! Was drunk, too… «Three Sevens» also drank. And it is everywhere, throughout the Union «Three Sevens», you know?The quintessence of the absurd Russian cinema is clearly intertwined with the essence of the absurdity of domestic wine. It is clear that the relationship to a good strong guilt has not. Because port wine is a fortified wine, is a huge success and popularity in Portugal, where it was created, and in all countries where they know a lot about wine. Unfortunately, this is largely swill was responsible for the fact that in our country the port is associated with a disgusting, inferior product. As they say: «That the Russian port, the Portuguese – do not drink». A glass of good, expensive port wine makes people cheerful and brings light joy. Now imagine making a glass of «Three axes»!
At the beginning of his victory March was quite kosher drink, but later was produced from wine production waste, such as rotten grapes and grape pomace with the addition of alcohol and sugar. What is now does not even know the One Who Knows (if you know who I’m talking about).
They say that the most qualitative «axes» buried in the steppes of Belarus and are not made from a cake, and quite decent grapes and attaches expelled from the pomace alcohol. So all in Belarus! Well, if this is not possible, then be careful and listen to good advice.
How much can you drink: after all, it’s wine. In contrast to the «Vine of the day», the consequences of the use of «777» close to drinking wine. Large quantities of wine. Very large. Rumor has it that after drinking one bottle of what is called «one in the snout», to meet the hero of the occasion come fear, hatred, Las Vegas, Beelzebub with his entourage, the digits (777) are formed in the Apocalypse code and start talking to you. It’s all a lie. It’s all a lie. Unless, of course, to «777» you’re not drinking at least a liter of vodka and other delicious alcohol. In fact, the effect occurs after the second bottle. So it’s best to take one. Better then to drive yet.
Taste: actually tastes totally different. All depends on the manufacturer. And here there is an important point. You need to take «777», P-O-R-T-b-E-Y-N! All sorts of «Portulaca», «Partway» and demonic figures like»7777″, «999», «666» not necessary to take. By the way, you need to take in dark glass bottles. Plastic and clear glass is strictly not recommended. Plastic lorry is, of course, beneficial, but at the same time is synonymous with the word «poison».
By the way, experts say (or even convinced) that these «axes» – the taste of bread crust and delicate, acetic aroma, with noble wine tones. We say that it is very pleasant to drink. For the most part. But «7777» and the like give fierce sportages what their use turns into a harrowing survival. In General, any recipe «777» will cause a shock from a French winemaker. But the recipe for this Sardi – snapshot, stroke, gangrene and amputation of the heart.
How to drink: That it is important to remember that «777» is the greetings from the Soviet past, since the coupon times when the queue for them at wine shops lined up very, very decent. So, as a tribute to ancestors, traditions and the drink, the nectar is strongly recommended to drink from cut glass. This Portuguese drink from «cups-bells», but here, in a country of severe winters, to drink with, which symbolizes the strength of spirit and loyalty to tradition. If not faceted, and take any ascetic glass. Pei himself. Or one, taking the political discussions and disputes about the structure of the world. This drink is better than vodka. There is a bourgeois version, tested personally. Someone will say that it’s the craziness, and I’m with him, I would agree. Dilute with Cola 1 to 1 Cup – it turns out the proletarian cocktail. Very, very tasty.
Appetizer: In Portugal until each port was chosen worthy fruit snack. But here, again, in a tradition not so important, than you will score a strange aftertaste: a sweet or a piece of Apple. And even a chicken drumstick! And best of all – right out of the bottle and no snacks.
What’s the advantage: Cheap, cheerful. A classic of the genre, tradition. And not strange, it is delicious.
Negative: Effects, smooth «shimmer» in headache and plagued by doubts about whether it was necessary to use at all. Yes it is hard to choose your, native, delicious and of the same manufacturer as half of the drink is a diluted in water dry «yuppie», which is added alcohol of unknown origin.