Unrealistic expectations is a step into the abyss
You feel that you constantly fail? You feel that nothing ever goes according to plan? Whether you are upset about this? Do you know why? This is probably due to your expectations. The problem is them! The thing with having high expectations? A case of low expectations? About expectations in General. I’m not saying that you should, in principle, to abandon the expectations, sometimes you can afford. When we expect specific outcomes from each situation, we get upset and disappointed because not everything happens as we want. And it’s fucking unpleasant fact. Moreover, our desires in most cases cannot be carried out. Like everything goes according to plan, and a model of success in your head looked as though it mildly, much brighter. This leads to strong dissatisfaction with current life situation that makes you fairly quickly vague muttering something man, who is, in fact, forty years at most, but looks older because «the World is such a unpleasant and unrewarding place.» Blame unrealistic expectations, expectations and expectations in General. Sometimes you just have to do and nothing to wait for. Nothing at all.
To restore the balance in your head and not turn into an evil guy, it’s important to separate your expectations realistic and unrealistic. And eliminate them.
1. Unrealistic expectations
Let’s say that I go to a good restaurant, serving the most noble steaks and pour where gorgeous beer. What can I gain from visiting this establishment? A feast for the stomach and the wonderful feeling of a great atmosphere. But I just can’t count on the fact that I would eat a steak right from Uma Thurman, and then I will dance with her on the dance floor as in the movie «pulp fiction.» Hope this is unrealistic, and the chance to meet Uma Thurman in my town are about the same as to meet a Minotaur. Although I think that to meet the Minotaur easier.
The most annoying thing is that the example above seems to us to be reasonably realistic, but we are willing to turn a blind eye to what we think is real. For example, the fact that the girl, who is now our ex will love us again. That m*duck will certainly improve. We forget that the probability is very small. But still continue to believe and bring it to life. Unrealistic expectations — it’s a miracle or something.
It is best to abandon unrealistic expectations. Let this be a miracle which is there but which we never think. If an unexpected miracle happens, it will be a pleasant surprise. The fallacy of waiting only causes pain, and this we do not need Understand it? Well.
2. Realistic expectations and unnecessary expectations
Now you have a realistic concrete expectations that have a real chance to perform. Often we judge a situation based on past experiences and old information that we have. Continuing the previous scenario with the steak. I go to the same institution, hoping that finally in the end of the week I will drink this wonderful beer and eat a great steak. Steak may not be the same as before, but the beer, which if there is somewhere in town, but the place at the other end it is not really. And this I will be very disappointed, not because I can’t cope with the absence of such commonplace phenomena as tasty beer, and that I imagined, it did not come true. Although expectations are quite realistic.
But worth it to get upset over such things? Does it matter? It’s really somehow affect my life? Do I have to let it fuck her affect my life? What can I do about it? It’s very simple: leave expectations. The good, the bad, if there is too much to expect, may well be disappointed. Especially if so, I sincerely expect a hike in the pub. I would not have written this post if my own eyes have not seen on St. Patrick’s day the guy who came into the pub and asked about the availability of your favorite beer, I learned that it is not and just felt bitter disappointment, more like a fag. And dude look over forty.
These ozhidaniya tied to real life? Simple enough. We live day after day, expecting things from each other and from situations for something in particular. We expect certain qualities and moral values from our colleagues, employees, relatives, friends, loved ones. We expect from our careers and our daily lives. There is a certain threshold that can be expected, for example, loyalty from loved ones and support from loved ones. But if you think that with this man we live life and loved ones will support us always and everywhere, because they’re so fucking close, you will have to wait for the collapse. If you understand that you’re alone, and the situations are different, sometimes something happens against your will, faith and belief, it becomes a lot easier.
If you carry a virtual list of what people SHOULD do around the world, you will be disappointed. Yes, your family should know the things that are important to you. But if you seriously think the world will play by your rules, then you’re a fool, man. The world existed before you and will exist after. What about the world you little grain of sand which cannot dictate terms.
It is important to work to eliminate extra, unnecessary expectations that put pressure on us. Stop thinking that the universe works for us and if you want something, the universe definitely you’re going to give. All sorts of Coelho and the like write for uneducated suckers who didn’t read anything in your life worthwhile, and the first disappointment in a life of excessive expectations will literally destroy you. Galaxy, as sung in a good song Monty Python, hundreds of billions of stars that are part of a Universe which is constantly expanding. And you must expect that single micro-organism will dictate its terms? Expectation is a projection into the future and a product of your mind. Why create something that will generate frustration, powerlessness and negativity? Try to minimize your expectations. Try to focus on the really important things, and the expectations leave Friday night or a movie? It’s not much. Pretty with the frustration you may, in the future you’ll learn not to wait for movies.