To walk or to learn?

Question

Hello, my venerable and dear manygoodtips.com. Never wrote you, but inwardly felt that sooner or later my questions will go beyond your category and will be more personal and more intimate nature. For eighteen years you became my invisible friend, to whom I often turned for advice, often in the hearts disagreed, argued, reconciled and returned to you. Without pathos and unnecessary words thank you for your timely article about the lifestyle of a real man.

I want to trust and open up to you right now, as I find it hard to talk about these things with friends or girlfriend. Such questions may remain unanswered, because, most likely, would hurt their feelings to me. According to the precepts of the late Hesse (I’m sure you’ve read it), in me, there is always competition between «wolf» and «man», daily throwing from one to another, and from this arise the confusion and dissatisfaction with life.

But I started from the middle, and, most likely, you are worthy of a preamble to understand me and to catch the thread of the question that is brewing stronger with each read you letter.

I am 18 years old. A student who came from a small but cozy town in the heart of the country: big, ambitious and unfriendly to all «come in large numbers» in Moscow. Not bothering to read before a wise addition, I decided that my life will be as bright and joyful as at home. But suddenly on the still immature young shoulders fell the burden of great and eternal «adult» problems. The most important thing was the marriage. Studying and working in parallel on evenings and weekends, I gradually began to realize that the carefree life is that my friends go out with girls, doing anything exciting or unnecessary things, hanging out and feeling pretty good. And I’m starting to feel that it all sweeps past me. More clearly manifests the idea that we have different goals in life, but which one is correct: to be with family and less time to devote to self-education and work or to devote himself to the case – I do not understand.

On the one hand, there is the feeling that I’m alone in this world and we must first make ourselves, but on the other, I really cherish my family and want to spend more time with them: to keep up, not to retire in the future. To become financially independent, spending his entire youth, perhaps after retiring from the usual circle of loved ones, or enjoy the present, but not seeing a clear perspective of, say, 10 years. I’m not asking you to give me a clear step by step instructions (which cannot be) or to motivate to action. I want to hear from you, my friend, a few wise, maybe caustic, but fair words. What is more important: the implementation of or close, a matter of life or her fleeting joy, because chasing two hares is not stealing? Walking with a girl in the Park or sleepless nights at work and preparing to school? Total saving free time for yourself or a prosperous life in the hustle and bustle?

And even though you’re only three years with small, I’m sure you’re wiser and smarter than me, you are sure to find the right words and help your struggling reader who, like hamlet or Grigory Melekhov, is confused in his reasoning. Sincerely, your nameless friend!

The answer

Mother of God… love the questions more than the answers themselves. The only thing we don’t know. Hesse… is It someone from the Wehrmacht? Just kidding, just kidding, there is Wikipedia, we looked at it like this: Hesse, Nicholas (1829-1893) – Kiev Governor. But why quote it?

In fact, we are very pleased that you decided to trust us. Let the public but anonymity is observed.

You’re a smart, well-read man, but, like a lot of people who use the reading Gilyarovskogo who primarily wrote about the place of man, you can’t grasp the concept.

Caesar (we are not on the intersection). You have to work. Moscow – a city inhospitable and very angry. He likes tiller and lucky. If luck a you haven’t noticed, you just have to plow. You might like: almost all provincials, noble, and «capital stuff», I started small. Yevgeny Mironov spent the night at the station. Don’t know if you remember Otar Kushanashvili, there is a rose on the scandal journalist? Now, he is almost half lived at Paveletsky station. Himself of the time he describes only as greasy smells bad monster. But now they have wealth, respect and some friends. Friends will always be if you remain a decent and honest man.

Of course, sad to lose with life’s horizon comrades the best of times, but, unfortunately, in most cases, these friendships are destroyed. See, the thing: with your friends you can always find a time to meet. Not as often as I would like, but possible. Another thing is that you’re afraid to nedorost, neopit, nadakuditi… Friends grow up, and after a year and a half, going part time, men’s fun slowly fade away, but still the fun will be less. In the end, choose a middle ground. Of course, mostly from young nails to storm the heights, but if you work around the clock, you can hate my whole life. Even if you have strong financial support, to spend all the time in carefree partying and stupid, at least, dangerous for your health. If you correctly plan your time, you will remain the love, happiness, and fun. Believe my personal experience: combining study and work, I managed to find the time to play. Sometimes to the detriment of sleep, but it is rare, and the nuances.

We can’t say what is the priority, not knowing you and your situation in detail. In the end, you yourself should decide it. Just enjoy life, do not deny yourself the entertainment, work, study and never delay achieve their goals, be a good friend and plan your life the points – and then you will have no questions about which way to go. As said the Satyr Phil from the movie «Hercules», «look into your heart»… or was it in the cartoon «the sword in the stone»? Or even in «Mulan»? In any case, made a choice from the heart is always right.