To return self-respect? Easy!
For a start, tell me how you managed to lose it. Do not answer me, but to yourself. Do not hesitate and nothing Ty. How is it that you stopped being a nice? I have forgotten how to fight back? Always say «Yes» and it does not become as cool as Jim Carrey, just giving others another reason you something? Too dependent on other people’s opinions? You know, friend, sometimes someone or something opens your eyes to yourself and you realize that it can not go on living. What to do?
1. Vytvori something that makes you uncomfortable
Oh, it’s my favorite subject. Recently my one bro went sportmagazin no particular goals — just looking to see what interesting they sell. By the way, I note that about a month ago I started running and why I was interested in a Jogging outfit. Previously running shoes left me profoundly indifferent: they look ugly, anyway, not as stylish as sneakers my usual format. Now I took them in hand and realized that without them, the store will not go away. They are so light, almost weightless! Bro my choice is not approved: was told that I look like a bum. «But it’s for running!» — I said. «Running Gopnik,» the lost man. And I spat on it and bought it. So he runs in not adapted for this activity the shoes.
What I want to say? We all think about someone else’s opinion on our account, let many people do not want to admit it. But you know what? This opinion does not go anywhere on their heads or kitchen conversations. Even if I get mistaken for a mugger, nothing special: people just pass by and then forget about me. Forever.
Try it. Do what you think looks strange in the eyes of others. Do something before your head is an invisible barrier. Do what you are afraid to do because of public opinion. One by one find these filters and break them. You will notice that society is like water: when you leave her circles, they spread out and disappear. Your «coudnse» habits turn into something like the status quo.
2. Deal with the inconvenience
When I watch interviews with famous people I notice that are best able to spin on the conversation… silence. They understand that they have to fill the spot, and sometimes they blurt out that then you are not happy.
Perhaps the silence awkward for you. I feel awkward when it suddenly hangs in the air and tightened. However, I’m working on it and I have to say that in most cases, to keep silent is still much better than to babble awkward stuff or royally embarrass myself by saying what we are not talking. This is one of the types of inconveniences that must accept or overcome it.
Another common type of social inconvenience is to make a mistake or be the victim of a bug and not say anything. Life teaches us that to force myself to talk on a delicate subject is much better than with grace to avoid the inconvenient question. While you’re avoiding, it will not disappear.
I read that former U.S. President bill Clinton said, «When someone pushes on you, push him with a vengeance». That’s what I understand: it is much better for any inconvenience. When you’re out in the open and without double meanings, everything is clear. No passive-aggressive behavior, and everyone can clearly see what your priorities are. Start to apply this strategy!
3. Abandon borders
Closed questions provided a range of responses — a complete mess. «What would you like soup or pasta?» I may want a salad, but don’t give me this option, so I, like a fool, I think, some of the dishes I less not want. Why? You can also go and make a salad.
«Mom, I don’t want to be an engineer. — What? Draw pictures or on the porch to beg?» Neither one nor the other, nor the third. Want fourth. And feel like in front of me three possible answers, two of them badly.
Dude, anyone can be an outdoor, you can offer your own answer. It is not necessary to fall into the trap of other options. You cannot allow others to dictate the terms. No one listen and decide yourself what you want to choose.
4. Tell the truth
This does not mean to turn into a complete asshole. However, in a world without you enough evasive people who are struggling to avoid conflict. Nobody wants to enter into a confrontation with others. The fact remains a fact, as you call it. The king becomes more suited when subjects prefer not to notice its nakedness. Only depends on you whether you want to say in hearing what all understand, but do not dare to say.
Another point: do not think out of the other. To tell the truth means to ascertain the fact, and not to add your grades and emotions.
5. Start a new life
This step is not possible without all the previous. If you get to this level, can with a clear conscience, to begin to explore the new world — the one where you always do the right thing, until your actions do not harm others. Want to wander through an abandoned house? No problem, if you’re willing to live with the consequences of his act. Want to try hanging or BDSM? Forward, but remember: you’re responsible for the consequences of their actions.
When you choose your path, you will begin to understand that all can understand any of your oddities. In the end, and they make you interesting and noteworthy.
None of this will happen if you don’t stop caring about someone else’s opinion. Take control of your thoughts and become stronger.
Tear other people’s legs of his self-respect. Do it right today. Right now. Wear stupid clothes. Do something strange. Tell someone the truth.