To help a shy dude
No, well isn’t that Murphy’s law when you want to be charismatic and spontaneous, as Soso Pavliashvili, but natural modesty does not! You squeezed so much that can’t even meet new people. People ignore you and don’t notice, and life is transformed into something that appeals to a small Northern Fox, used to make coats. Well, let’s deal.
It is important to understand that the main barrier that prevents you to Express yourself, create yourself. Here is the first brick in the Foundation of your oppression is already in place, what next? It’s all you’re gonna wear yourself out and hinder to Express themselves, become, to put it mildly, the gloomy quiet owl that tries to answer the dull status. Look at your grey dirty clothes, unkempt appearance – nobody will pay attention. Now, move past this and start to dress well. Good does not mean expensive. Nobody’s asking you to dress up in suits from Brioni. You can dress fashionable and budget, and most importantly, good.
Let’s say you despise fashion and dress up the way you want. Try at least the clothes were clean, ironed and not reminded from the rags of the vagrant Holy fool. But it is better to start dressing stylishly. First, we love «meet on clothes» – and people will be pulled. Secondly, it will feel easier.
Well, hygiene. Soviet posters with fun zhemchuzhnoye pioneers did not lie. Clean – the guarantee of health. You need to brush your teeth in the morning and evening, and unwashed chimney – shame and disgrace! Therefore, children are happy, not because you believe, comrade Khrushchev that communism is not far off. The beard is fashionable, but unkempt MOP under the nose can only afford Emir Kusturica. Even the Patriarch it is well maintained.
Take care of yourself. Beautiful and neat forgiven much. And people will be attracted to you.
2. Develop talent
Mediocre people do not. Everyone in something so genius. The main thing – to develop your talent. No, don’t think I strayed from the topic, just the opposite. Sometimes you… well, well, Well, no personalities. Often shyness overcomes those who consider themselves completely devoid of talent. You don’t know what to offer, you become uninteresting to him. Rather, there is a feeling. No common what to hit the very fairy at the sight of which the heart begins to beat twice as hard.
But when you know how, say, a beautiful jump through «a goat», the degree of public interest increases dramatically. You can be a modest genius, but thanks to the talent feel much more confident. But if your talents are irreplaceable in a big company, the prices you will not. After a couple of months you will be the first storyteller in the village. The main thing is to develop your hobby and talent to perfection.
3. Stress resistance
Some people think shy people some «quiet pool», which is full of devils. Awkward interaction with other members of society great repellent. People look at «scallywag» like hyenas from «the lion King» – with a fierce dislike. This is especially amplified after the bloody fair, which hosts humiliated, offended shy personality, tired garden from the society of their chitinous cover». Alas, but among the terrorists and the other organizers of the riots a lot of shy guys who thus answer someone else’s society. But we should not forget about the brainwashing influential organizations.
So you should increase your ability to handle stress and to learn how you move on from failures. Not to look like an evil Goblin plots evil.
4. Hesitate at all
Everyone wants to feel their uniqueness. And no matter what. So shy people think your barrier that does not allow them to open up with other people on the planet Earth, something unique. Like, for me a seal of loneliness, and I have no salvation. Ah, how unhappy I am!
But really hesitate at all, even Sacha Baron Cohen. Even famous politicians had no time to experience this feeling. A famous shaman from the year of Jim Morrison on his first performances always mumbled something into the microphone, standing to the audience back. But then as burst!.. And you know what’s the secret? They have the sense and strength to get over yourself and shame. In the shyness has no features. special can only be talent. That’s when you will understand it, will be much easier to overcome this debilitating, annoying problem.
5. Do not listen
What do we do with those who spread rot us/despises/dislikes? We send them into «black holes» the most selfless pornos. Us it is in any case should not unsettle. Well, hates God with him. We ridicule, and we grow stronger. Everyone, even johnny Depp, even Jesus has haters. What now? Did you see that talented actor or the Son of God left his successful career through the haters? No. Why spit on someone else’s opinion. To many it just does not open up.
6. Start small
It all starts with ourselves. Notorious phrases like «we Need to program yourself for good» – do not empty talk. Look at yourself from the side. The more you think of yourself as «successful» cool guy», the easier it will be to cope with your shyness and any problems that got in the way.
There is another good way to overcome shyness. Something from the category of «start small». You went shopping, standing in line, waiting when you will blow a wad of chewing gum. And in that moment when the cashier asks you: «You a big package or the small one?» – try to look her in the eyes and with a charming smile to answer: «my Dear, I don’t need it». A trifle, but as the Chinese say: «a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step». Go to a cafe and ask the cute Barista how her day was. Scary? Shakes? Well, it’s just a matter – it is not binding. Try to interact with society. So at worst, to ask the conductor which stop you should get off (although you’re within 5 years go this route).
7. Eye to eye
What? I can’t bring myself to look into the eyes of strangers? Then the problem is much deeper than it may seem. Here, willpower is not enough. And you know how to solve it? Physical methods. We drive out the «psychological» disease from the body. Not with a hot iron, and such… hardened. Yes, elementary, cold shower and life will be easier. In General, exercise that will make you forget about the internal comfort, very disciplinary. And then you suddenly understand that you can control yourself and your psychological state.
8. Give yourself to noble deeds
Know why you see so many insecure people? Because some just do not know how to behave in a given situation. Must be a shepherd, a mentor, which all tell, show and give touch.
But the researchers noticed that people forget their shyness when participating in socially useful activities. Here and self-respect makes itself felt, and other factors.
So if you don’t want to become a priest and heal lost souls, go to the volunteers. Famous toothless «miracle» by the name Shura is not in vain commanded to do good. Faust saved his soul by working for the people. And you will save yourself from this damned complex.
9. Don’t run away from emotions
When you feel butterflies in your stomach, the tremor in the heart and red cheeks when meeting, don’t try to get rid of them. On the contrary, focus on this person, try to get in touch. Elementary try to meet this man, know his name. Although these symptoms are usually experience to the ladies.
As you can behave in new companies. If you feel that the situation in the host is critical, if you notice that people you’re not interested, if you know that rising feeling of anxiety that’s call the demon of closure, only to come into contact. Offer something to drink, get a name. And you will see that this and revelations will flow from the source, like blood in a Tarantino movie.
10. Don’T be yourself
If you’ve been a victim of its own excessive modesty, then you absolutely contraindicated, that is, «be yourself». Spending hours watching TV shows in the costume of the «sweaty nerd», you will not achieve success. Create your ideal and follow it. Even if you have a growth meter with a cap and nasty, like Mickey mouse, the voice, it does not mean that you can’t have the charisma of Gerard Butler. How to make your voice better we wrote. Well, about how to be more brutal, we write since its founding.
11. And a little honesty
Be honest with yourself. Admit that people hate to communicate with you, not because they are stupider than you, but because you are stupid and boring, and most importantly, not even trying to change. Excuses – a good thing, but what we do here is preventive, necessary and extremely useful in self-flagellation because to discard all the ridiculous excuses!