To hell with shopping centres and promotions

There is nothing more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a shopping zombie. I knew that sooner or later we will get into that stuff.

Fear and loathing at the MallRecently part of the editorial staff went on a shopping spree with your girlfriends. I can’t stand shopping malls, and after a 4-hour hike this view is only strengthened. It is strange that people don’t drop dead in those queues before the ticket offices or in the moments when girls think, what dress to choose. After this test, especially if you live in a big and hot city, where queues and traffic jams is a usual thing, you just want to collapse into bed and never come out for the next two weeks. In the end, we decided that I would never waste on this shit in our spare time. And here’s why.

We noticed that guys who are really addicted to time spent in clothing stores, is becoming more. We do not claim that it is necessary to walk on the dirty orangutan to write themselves into the ranks of «real men». No, dude needs to look after themselves, but in the meantime, not to turn into a sad creature that chooses a perfume like this choice depends the life of all mankind.

Do not take it a rule to write about what you should do and what should not, therefore, limit ourselves to friendly advice. When you have a girlfriend, then most likely, you’ll have to go with her and pick rags, or something else. So, try directly from this «privilege» to refuse, occupy yourself with something else. At first you might think that Hiking with a friend in the shop there is nothing blasphemous or wrong, but then it can turn into the wildest routine. Therefore, whether the rude jerk from the beginning – just occupy yourself with your business. Read a book, for example. There is no need to waste time on something that doesn’t concern you. Can you explain to a friend that just want to be surprised and not know how it will look is she can believe. And he take a book and a couple of Beers and enjoy your free time. Or buy a guitar and do each time a friend disappears in the store. I am sure that in six months you’ll be playing almost as gorgeous as Hendrix or, in extreme cases, Jack white.

Man reaching for friend, while the latter chooses something, something similar to dog-Pinscher in the bag. We really do not feel comfortable in women’s stores, we start poking around in the smartphone, take a second to think about the problems of this world – nausea full. If you’re an introvert, you just want to continue watching the new season of «Game of thrones», for example. If an extrovert, then you want to the bar, to a concert, hell, in General, and the brain already goes through your friends ‘ phone numbers, which can save you from this hell. Why torture yourself when you can just shut it out? And don’t tell me that this problem no one has. We have seen these dudes in all outlets of this crappy world, they pull over a women’s bag in their eyes – the pain and suffering, they turned into zombies, only following a «strong and independent» woman. Fuck that, dude! Begin to respect yourself, and then as a woman became quite.

Others seriously begin to look at the discounts and brands, and then overpaying and putting themselves at risk of being crushed by the feet of the mad buyers, if not the people, but helpless earthworms on the pavement. «DISCOUNTS, DISCOUNTS, DISCOUNTS!» shout advertising signs are huge hypermarkets. The only reason these discounts never expire and are by and large purely speculative. Dude, if you don’t need any thing, don’t be a ghoul, don’t buy it just because it is «cheaper» right now. Part of the editorial staff – qualified advertisers who quit this business of Satan to bring good to the masses through And believe me, any advertising campaign is designed to leave you without money. There are no brands of altruists, who want to preserve the fullness of your wallet. And indeed honesty – it’s not about trading, even if you want to convince otherwise.

We the rock stars against drugs, because he wants George Bush! We’re rock stars who sell Pepsi-Cola! We’re rock stars who sell the food from McDonald’s!» Sluggish, miserable, soulless puppets of the corporations sucking the cock of Satan. That’s what I’ll tell you can print this in stone and never forget. Any artist who when anything is advertised on TV, forever cursed and cannot be an artist. You can even Mona Lisas shit – you fucking made my choice.

Bill HicksAnd now look at your closet or any other surrounding you in the apartment thing. Think of how many of these things you bought just because it was «profitable»? And what are these rags and have a use for everything? Sure there isn’t. And don’t say that your steamer does not know the rest, and the toaster is not tired after a couple of months.

The average person 90% of the time is, in fact, one and the same set of clothes. He’s so nice and familiar. This same man enjoys, as a rule, the usual stuff. Everything else is a dead weight, but you’re still clutter my wardrobe with all sorts of slag, which will soon be forgotten. Be smart, be Homo-sapiens, in the end.

Send advertising agents that knock on your door, the most brutal and merciless way. They should be afraid to come to your apartment. Let him seek another job, you’re doing them a favor, because otherwise they will remain assholes for the rest of his life. And so, we’ve worked in the advertising business, thinking that everything will be as good as in 99 francs. In the end it turned out a little cleaner than the work of the policy.

So what is it? Ah, Yes. To hell with shopping centers and everything connected with them!

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