To be or not to be in a serious relationship

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Question

Rabateau, hi. You’re tips friend, too, right?

I’m a girl, I read you almost more than a year, I’m 18 years old, studying in the first year, and I have now here’s the thing happened. 4.5 months ago due to certain circumstances I moved into my apartment. Enjoying the long-awaited freedom, has gone rogue. Clubs, bars, party, you know. And so it happened that one fine morning, unknown in whose apartment I met a great guy (older than me by 3 years). Handsome, with a head on his shoulders, reliable, not a womanizer, etc. Spun, spun, the result is now we have 4 months of living together. Life adjusted, advice and love, no apparent problems.

And now to the essence of my question: I’m just terribly afraid. And suddenly it will go far? Then what to do? Is this really serious?

I’m scared that I won’t be able to haul cargo in a serious relationship. All of this combines cohabitation annoying, although I can’t even imagine how to sleep without it. Sounds must be very feminine, but I really hope for your help.

On the one hand, I understand that «not developed» (no need in me rotten eggs to throw at this moment and call SHL*Hoi). Just now spending time with friends I changed to watching TV on the couch with a loved one. And he gets upset when I’m not home. In the end, it’s my first relationship, which duration exceeds 3 weeks. I’m afraid that one day I was just tired of it, but I won’t allow myself to hurt him because of his character and just «go with the flow» in the worst sense of the expression.

On the other hand, I love him and he fits the role of the person with whom it would be possible to build a life.

And now the question. What to do with this internal dilemma?

The answer

My dear friend! First of all, I want to explain that the girl who likes to walk and does not want to marry is not a whore. Actually, one you eggs to throw will not, and if so, then I, as a feminist, going to protect you. Relax, you’re so young, she said, permanent stay, party, friends, and intoxicating oblivion in the morning. It is now very by the way, remember Lana Del Rey song » Young and Beautiful. To take an important step towards a Mature and serious life you, of course, necessary, but not today. So Tusi, until you decided to take care of kids, cook my husband the soup and make a loan.

Now let’s talk about your new boyfriend. The description is just fabulous! I clung to this, although I am still a freedom-loving sweetheart. But this should not affect you in any way. Let’s face it. You must be okay with your boyfriend not because he’s grown strong and can seriously claim the role of her future husband and guardian of the outer chains of family life. I’m pretty sure you get it on just for kicks: a lot in common, perhaps, amuses you, some whales says cares. Right? You can not answer, I know how it feels to be a young girl in the manicured hands of an adult male. Relationships, especially such enthusiastic and full of love usually start on the scheme: «I saw her, she saw me, spark, storm, madness.» So we were so happy with the guys, no matter how many years they were not, and no matter how they are prepared for a serious life. I have a question whether your young person is thinking about a serious future together? It often happens that you’re in love, my eyes are burning to sleep without it can’t, but you suddenly realize that you are being drawn into conversations that you don’t want to ask you what you are not prepared to give, and in the end, you feel obligated to another person. All because he wanted seriousness, and you’re not ready. If you feel that your boyfriend expects you to settle down and abandon their parties and friends, then I suggest you to wonder whether you with him is so wonderful good to suddenly become a big girl. Otherwise, you will become a victim of emotional abuse. Besides, you said yourself that sail on this course if you wanted. If your freedom, whatever it was, it is more important to you now than in his strong arms, then most likely you’re not ready, you’ll both be better to do what you want for you and now separately.On the other hand, your problem could be born only in your head, and to be confirmed by the behaviour of your boyfriend. Maybe he also gets off on the time it spends with you, but he is not averse to fun with your friends while you try to sleep without it. And his reluctance to let you go to friends — male temperament, requires curb, because if your boyfriend is jealous, uh, no scandals no cost. In this case, the problem is still there, because the fact that you are thinking about your future, said that it did not happen naturally, so you, my dear, tense. It is best in this situation to approach her husband with a conversation about «serious relationship», and about your feelings. Relations, whatever they were: serious, fleeting, free, without conversation is impossible. Tell your boyfriend how you feel about him and what you fear. If he’s old enough to understand your feelings, you can be sure he will do something to help you, and if he is jealous and possessive, forcing you to choose between him and freedom, then walked him to hell and learn to fall asleep alone. It is better to be sh*Hoi an than forced to be someone else.

You can’t hurt him when they realize that it is not ready? Baby, is he a cat? I can’t throw kittens, and therefore it is not suitable to them. It might sound cynical, but I can shed some light on this issue once and for all: girls hurting guys as well as boys — the girls, regardless of whether they love each other or hate. Imagine that you’re not going going to grow up quick for him, and once he finds out how you really feel or felt, in this moment of his manly heart will break into thousands of pieces, and all because it’s so unfair. He deserves to know the truth, and you deserve to do what you really want. And besides, it can be annoying not only to you. This life.

There is another way, however, it may seem like you or your partner is stupid. A break — not always a disaster. Yes, if I were in love and grace, and I who said about the break, Mama MIA, I was furious! I’d show that bastard how much a pound down and out in Nebraska! But aside all of that aside and talk about why you need a break. In the meantime, you, my freedom-loving, will be able to understand how bad things get without him. If you finally feel the freedom you continue to enjoy hanging out with friends and the prospect to gain experience with other guys, then here’s your answer. And if you test your message against a new one, actually, so everything is clear. Tell your loved one that you need time to figure things out. If he will understand you and will give you the opportunity, and secondly, be ready to return everything between you, then congratulations, you have a good guy.And finally I will give another tip, he once saved me from the worst mental anguish, and it reads: Let everything happen to you! Serious relationship, no other partners, less partying, or suffering without him, so, hell, we all live for love!

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