Three relationship issues faced by each
We’re talking with readers, solve simple and complex problems in our category «Community». Anyone can ask a question, but, unfortunately, not everyone can get the answer. I would like to say that we are able to answer all the questions, but the fact that a lot of them, too much. And for that we are grateful because we have you find people who can give you friendly and certainly the men’s Council.
Recently we decided to take three questions from you, our dear reader, and give the role of counselors, professional psychologists who work in «Talk to me».It seemed to us that there are business people who by their experience and qualification may well help to deal with some issues. So, meet three heartbreaking stories and three fair answers from our friends.
I was very far away, and my girlfriend haven’t seen for 20 days. Then, when I arrived, she herself did not come to me, citing the fact that her mother does not let go. Came here once only after I otbrosy her mom. She works as a waitress in a restaurant where many young men and boys. She says they all married, but is there one of the Directors of that single.
In General, they have planned a mega-booze. Even though she’s my everything says: how did it go, who did what, who said what, but I can’t — maybe I’m weak and unsure of himself, so jealous. But as she tells me: she is active and always will be the center of attention, and this drunk, what is planned, I’ll just be extra — I would be uncomfortable and hurt (as she says) for the words that will be there to speak. In General, she wants to have fun at the end of the summer without me, and me is very annoying. Though I try not to think about the bad, but still dreading this event. How about this? Should quit or try to work things out?
Women are sensitive creatures that everybody can see. If you don’t like to hang out with her if she does not see the impact, and she doesn’t like being with you. Just imagine that she is the center of attention, and you just exist alongside. Not a full subject, and are in the status of the accessory, which «must accompany any girl.» But she wants to relax, to enjoy company, chatting and music. If the suspicions are not supported by any facts, plan of the day meeting with friends. Rest with his company, and she let him rest with her. Everyone needs a certain amount of freedom in relationships.
But it may be worse than we think. Her reluctance to spend time with you may mean a period of crisis in relations, which is accompanied by innuendo and a desire to break from the partner. Maybe the girl think that the relationship has become insipid, and it happens when a couple lives together for a long time.
This does not mean that you should give up, faced the first difficulties. Start with a conversation in which you Express your girlfriend’s be honest. It can help, but if not, you should decide for yourself whether you are behaving girls. If you’re willing to live with it, explain how you this unpleasant situation. Healthy relationships are built on respect. Jump to conclusions is not necessary. You can lose a good girl because he wanted to «be a man». But if you found a real proof of infidelity, then terminates the connection abruptly and mercilessly.
A conflict of interest
I live with a girl for three years. Yes, I understand that it is probably too late to ask this question, but… we are different. I like to have sex with her, cook together, or discuss common friends, but the more we do nothing. We are very different, despite the fact that we’re both 24 years old.
She likes hanging out with friends, she loves the nightlife, clubs. It is not a stupid party girl. But anyway, I have to go with it and pretend to be happy when I myself can’t stand this form of leisure. There is a nasty, unsympathetic people, to talk with anyone, always some showdown with a drunk.
I offer her to spend time together, watch a movie, go to an exhibition or even to go somewhere, but she doesn’t like to do it with me. If we go somewhere, it is only with its noisy company, a large wholesale to «make it fun». Movies like us too different, the humor is totally different, even goals in life are different. Sometimes I wonder that we live together, she too was surprised. But to leave I don’t want to. So the question is: can you help me to find common ground? How to please each other? I’m just afraid that life will turn into a series of mutual compromises, and I wish we’d had together.
Imagine for a moment that your girlfriend loves all that love you. Sounds great up to a point. Watched «coming to America»? Good movie, where the bride-to-be Eddie Murphy in one of the episodes started to bark at his request. Paradise for masculine males, but hell is for people who want a deeper relationship.
Life together is just interesting because people are different — everyone loves his music, everyone watches a film of its genre. In a sense, you complete her, and she you. And here the problem is not the differences between people, and that she, apparently, suppresses your identity, once you feel uncomfortable. Here it is necessary to go back to basics and remember how it was before. Why do you live with her? Why loved? It is unlikely that the answer lies only in sex. That is the point of contact once were, and now you have to find them. When you find this common, and it should rely in the first place.
Do not need to please each other — try to do things that are pleasant to you, but given the fact that the girl they like it too. The modern relationship is a relationship of two equal, independent people. You don’t have to be a victim in this relationship, but a tyrant should not be. Stick to what you like, try to take the girl with you and analyze the interests. It is possible that a common activity or leisure lie on the surface, but you don’t notice them, because my head is occupied by the problems in the relationship».
Dude, I’m in a very difficult period for the girl to meet with me, at some point I realized that she likes her friend, but to me there’s no feelings does not feel. Because of this she left me and is now happy and cut me out of life, and left me with nothing.
A month has passed.
I recently saw her, and she, to put it mildly, has hinted that she is sorry that she ever met with me, and just spend time in vain. How can I be in this situation?
I understand that she betrayed me, and I should hate her, but I feel resentment for that, which I seriously, seriously to me.
The offense in this situation is clear. You probably believe that the world was a universal injustice that the Earth spit in your face and left with nothing. And the one who behind your back selected to your darling got his. But the truth is that girls come and go, relationships are cut off, even the memories do not always remain. People tend to betray, to go through dozens of women and men, rather, it is monogamy the exception to the rule, especially in the twenty-first century. So stop feeling sorry for yourself. In the future pay attention to people carefully.
Blaming the girl is not: she went voluntarily and if really lucky, the flag in her hands — forget about it. Separated, divorced and cut it out. What you feel in this period of time is a common thing, you’re not unique in this. If you long live with the person you love, it definitely leaves a serious imprint. This can be overcome.
In the first steps you need to take a business, the best physical — Jogging, going to the gym, even dancing. All this attention will translate your brain with mental suffering to the physical. When you feel better, it will not be superfluous to familiarize with the new man — not for a serious relationship, and to the lungs. Sex is a great way to blow off steam and forget about all my exes.
Zeroing of life does not need anything — let this experience be a lesson to you that will help you in the future. Treat the problem easier, let go of the man (he left you, but out of my head yet) and live life to its fullest: rest, meet women, engage in sex with them, be happy.
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