Things that are not axioms
There are things that are hammered in our heads literally from childhood, we took them for granted. Such beliefs live for centuries, no matter what. You can say that life teaches us nothing, but it’s not just too often we are told that these things — that was and always will be. Is it true?
1. All people aspire to create a family
Most of us believe that certainly we need to find the person you cute, to acquaint him with his parents, to live with him and make a baby with him. Many believe that if a person does not want it, so he has not grown, and remained infantile beast. Somehow, the majority believes that the family is the Supreme unit of society and the highest good.
But in the world enough people who think otherwise, and they can hardly be called childish: they just have different goals. As he wrote Erich Fromm, the majority of families is created without sincere desire and awareness of the consequences of his act (a family). This fact makes the children in such families are unhappy, and makes parents feel the same that is written in this article. But people suffer because you think it’s right. The family is the indicator of prestige and the fact that you’re doing everything right and commendable by society.
There are enough people who have work, Hobbies, business and dreams in the first place, and the family may be on the fifth. And then if you can.
2. All love children
Cherished stereotype. All love children. If someone doesn’t like children, then either he will love, or is he a moral monster. In fact, a LOT of people don’t like children. The babies seem to them strange, scary, kids cheep scares them, and the smell is disgusting. Besides, many people, after watching their friends, you begin to understand that children are not all that bright. Several years of sleepless nights, little time to myself very little time with each other, and it is unclear what will grow from your child and it will thank you. Even love the child after birth not at all impossible, man. Here such pies with kittens.
3. Parents always love their children
We think that parents always want good for their children and love them a priori, but this, too, is not so. Love rarely occurs by itself, and rarely applies to all children equally. Some parents want to implement with children, their unfulfilled dreams, manipulate them and keep them in check. Read about the writer Bukowski and realize that the love of parents does not happen by default, and sometimes the place really is outright hatred.
4. All people are important sex
No matter how trying to convince us of the importance of Freud’s libido for the human personality, all the wise men of the type of Lorenz, Morris, Fromm and others are of the opinion that the libido is not the most important factor, but only one of the important factors. Girls, as we have already mentioned, relate to sex in so many ways, but they are not always without it can not live. However, as men. Usually for sex are three ways: can’t live (and the deviation), a positive attitude and miss it (in other words, treat it like pastimes), calmly or not at all. The latter include asexual who have sexual function all right, but not hurt, and want. Asexuality and frigidity, friend, is not synonymous, as not an indication of any mental problems. It just happened.
5. All people need communion
We often hear that without society man cannot live, he will die that the worst punishment for a human stay in solitary confinement without the ability to communicate with anyone. All of these people likely didn’t read or heard about the different original ways of execution and torture, but we forgive their ignorance. Speaking of solitary confinement. There is a criminal Bronson, so it’s a pretty long time was sitting alone (and probably now sits), and how he is not cold and not hot. Actually, not all people need communion. There are people who need the attention (no matter positive or negative), there are people who are important to the interaction with society, and there are those who absolutely do not care to communicate: they have movies there, books there. And not always even Frank Hickey and geeks — sometimes it’s just plain introverts. And this is not a psychological problem, just a different personality type.
6. People are born with their advantages or disadvantages
Perhaps this axiom appeared because of the traditional desire of the people to bring to life some justice, which, by the way, no. In fact, people are born unequal, and not only social status, but also according to their abilities. Some people stubbornly believe that children are all beautiful geniuses, thin non-standard which the mind can only wonder. But here’s the Fig! Even in the garden quickly becomes clear that this Jura boy will grow up smart, handsome and a ladies man, but Peter will grow up to be a loser. In elementary school Jura bigger and stronger than other children, better learning, very much has children from a parallel class, and passerine disco to it often come up to dance the first beauty. But Peter clamped, not speak, hardly time for others in the drawing of the eyelets and hooks, and frankly no growth left. In high school George, pumping biceps, walks with the girls, learning without difficulty and also manages to hang out with friends, while Peter Frank drysch, laughing at him girls, he learns with difficulty, and generally felt sorry for him. If Tom has a head on his shoulders, he has two choices: to start to do from the person or bump into informal (in the bad sense of the word).
As Karlin said, in life there are few winners and a bunch of losers. It is a bit wrong. In life those who have advantages and disadvantages. In life there are people who have advantages and disadvantages, are those in which too many disadvantages, there are strong middle and Frank are alpha males who have the advantages galore.
There is a tabletop role-playing game Dungeons&Dragons, which perfectly reveals the concept. For character creation you need to throw four dice with six faces to determine its basic numerical characteristics that show its characteristics and elements of personality (strength, dexterity, Constitution, intelligence, wisdom, charisma). Value, respectively, are from 3 (very poor) to 18 (brilliant and amazing). The die with the lower result is deleted, if that. Try several times to throw the dice and see which character you get. Sometimes is average, sometimes over-achiever: strong, agile, beautiful and intelligent, and sometimes a total loser. And in life.
7. There is a universal morality
Many believe that there is a set of rules of conduct to be followed by all people on earth. Something like: respect your elders, honor religious, respect other people’s opinions. But the problem is that there are no such rules, and moralists frankly not right. Of course, we’re not going to give examples of how in one country the girls are married after 18, and in others immediately started my period, it’s cultural differences. But even within the same cultural norms, one country or one region, the concept of morality may vary. Some people believe that the girl smokes — lost to society being, and the fact that a girl can be smart, interesting and pretty, they don’t care. The other guys are still dreaming to marry a virgin while sleeping with girls that do not want to get married.
And that’s not all examples. Some people will never forgive cheating, others will be able to forgive her, and still others will close their eyes to the obvious facts of infidelity, living on the principle «the Less you know — sleep tight.» For some people, a Threesome is the norm, for others — the highest stage of debauchery. For some girls, your lies are reasonable, but for others it’s the end of a relationship.
The list is endless, but you probably already understand the point: a common morality for the people, each for himself decides what he will do and when. However, never forget that internal contradictions and lying to yourself is the best way to make yourself a psychopath.