The virtuous life: chastity
Oh, chastity… the Word that makes teenagers to blush and adults cringe. The word that is associated with the medieval chastity belt, leaflets with the inscription «True love waits» and with the old priests. Many people think that chastity has no place in a modern progressive society. In General, about the virtues of writing the most difficult: unlike all the others, it is intertwined with religion. And although the definition of chastity each person will have their own, there are aspects that should be followed regardless of whether you’re religious or not.
Today’s society is saturated with sex, and write about chastity seems prudish and old-fashioned. Many may think that writing about chastity on a men’s site – all direct contradiction. Does man not need to put on the bedpost another notch each time she leaves, another lady? We believe that male sexuality should not focus on women; moreover, directly connected with serious relationships.
Sex as a commodity
Look, dude: sex is everywhere. He lurks in every nook and cranny of our daily lives. We see sex on TV, in magazines, on the Internet. It is used to sell everything from shampoo to jeans. Once the sex was a sacred mystery, and today has become just another consumer product that you can sell and buy. Of course, people have sold sex since ancient times (not for nothing that prostitution is called the oldest profession). What distinguishes today is that the very idea of sex has become commercial.
The problem of sexually-oriented culture
In our day, sex has replaced real relationships. Guys rarely want something serious, rarely ask girls about whether they want a long-term relationship. But the young people met in bars and at parties, spending time together – and that’s it. They hope they never have to meet again. Youth is considered the time when you need to «work up» before you settle down and start a family.
While many (perhaps most?) men think such things are harmless fun, the reality is that in casual relationships there are negative consequences. Anyway, the term «casual relationship», in fact, an oxymoron: they just don’t exist.
Men tend to view sex as a way to have fun, like going to football, although in reality sex is one of the most significant parts of human existence. We enjoy sex because it is biologically programmed: after the old man spent the whole day hunting for mammoth and collected roots, it was necessary to overcome the fatigue, to relax and to continue the human race. Sex is not only erotic and pleasure is the only way to save mankind from extinction. So whether you like it or not, sex forms a Union between you and the woman you are. It connects your body. Sex leads to the production of hormones and the emergence of strong feelings. The evolution of these feelings were conceived in order to connect two people for the emergence of a new human life. And it would be illogical so to connect with the woman, and then change partners as gloves.
Even if you have the concept of «sacred» does not fit with the concept of «sex», agree that it is at least the word «special». If you agree that sex is something special, you set certain boundaries. Of course, these boundaries is a very individual phenomenon, but there are serious reasons for them not to give up altogether.
Casual sex is bad sex. Apparently, during sex, we feel much more vulnerable than it has ever been: no clothes, excited, having close physical contact with another person. That is why good sex is impossible without trust. Trust based on love and intimacy. The location that appears with the night-talking, sharing meals, quarrels and reconciliations. If you have sex with someone you don’t like, you’re just using this person as means to pleasure. With the same success you can use inflatable doll. The more you love someone the better the sex. Conversely, if sex for you is just a mundane activity, it remains at the level of sensations.
Casual sex is disrespectful to women. Even if you’re sure it’s just sex without commitment, not necessarily that she thinks the same way. Perhaps she knows what is coming, but she may have feelings for you. Of course, there are women who have not had any problems with casual relations, because they can easily relate to them. However, more women who suffer after they don’t call the next morning. The same is true for guys. First, you may think that it’s just casual sex and then feel defective because you just used.
Casual sex doesn’t prepare you for sex in a relationship. Those who are vying to assert that it is unbecoming for a man to have few sexual partners or (God forbid) with nothing, motivated by the fact that he can’t figure out what he likes. However, they miss the fact that good sex involves communication and sometimes neglecting his own pleasure for the pleasure of another. But casual sex is just the opposite: it provides only a modest amount of communication and orientation primarily for their own pleasure. Of course, you want to appear before her in all its glory, but if it something is not enough, then what’s the difference: you’re still never going to see. As one of my friends man: «Sex is like ice cream. The more flavors you try, the harder it is to choose what you want to eat the rest of your life».