The mutiny: in the presence of my husband, I’m acting as if it is not

Question:

The point is that in the presence of my husband, I’m acting like it’s barely there. And, as a consequence, it is, of course, outraged, thinking and twirling yourself about the reason of such behavior. It’s simple: I like people who value freedom, and also provide it to others. From my side there is the constant calls and texts, daily meetings and constant whining on the topic «do you love me?», «Why didn’t you call me?» etc. typical questions and requirements in bitch style. Despite the above, I appreciate your husband and cherish them. But it does not work to explain that my behavior is just somehow different from the typical female, and not the result of my aversion to it, etc.

So we turn to «experts»: how can we convey to him the truth, that he really understood her?

The first thought that came to my mind after reading the question, is what I want to eat. Putting aside the writings, I ate and now ready to formulate your answer. The answer is bad, but simple.

You do not get to Express their thought, because you have different views on the same situation. What is important to him is not important to you, and Vice versa. Picture this: I started to tell you how all winter I live outside a spider and, despite the cold, he finds his own food. You would have this conversation seemed boring and pointless. Meanwhile, if I’ve said it learned arachnology, he listened to me with curiosity. Why? It’s interesting to him is what he needs, he lives it. What you need from your relationship dude, you don’t need; and the freedom that you need, do not fucking need him. It’s standard. Who will cave, he will save the relationship. I will try to describe more some time.

He reaches for you, wants you to see, hear, wants snot with your hand, whining or jealousy. He needs something to fill the place in the daily routine, which he is ready and willing to devote to a relationship. If this time does not fill you, two possibilities: he’ll either find someone to fill this temporary gap, or will suffer. The situation with you the opposite: you want to be free, you will not be able to live under the hood with constant SMS and whining.

If to throw out from the text all of the above drama, then you can say: «I need space», he will give it to you. Can you find another, you may not find. But in any case your words he won’t like it. Unable to determine the time frame, how many days a week you are willing to pay each other. But, for me, there is nothing more boring schedules. Try to have a conversation about how deep you could go in their concessions to each other. Ask him what he needs to feel your presence in my life, and then think, ready to give it to him. If you can’t give each other what you want, the idea that all is well, I will not take not one of you.

In General, the result of all this bullshit is this:

1. You will not be able to safely and effectively explain to him that you need freedom: it looks at relationships differently.

2. You should ask him what he wants to see your relationship. If your views differ, think, will, and most importantly whether you will want to give him what he wants.

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