The memorable March 2015
Well its been another fun month of your life. And given the fact that we are surrounded by absurd, that every day the public presents us with a surprise. We consider more closely than we remembered March 2015, what an unusual and interesting happened, except for the deaths of dozens of innocent lives at the hands of a crazy pilot. There is nothing to comment, everything’s already been said without us. So we will not dwell on the sad and turn your view of events, far from tragedy, the more so because they have accumulated very, very much.
1. Montenegrin confusion
In the qualifying match between Russia and Montenegro, which took place in a poor town called Podgorica, happened very unpleasant situation. At the beginning of the match got over-excited from filled the stands and running on the emerald lawn of the logs of the Montenegrin fan gave the back of Igor Akinfeev unforgettable meeting with the fire. As a result, the Russian goalie was diagnosed with severe burns and a concussion. The match was stopped, but then, allegedly on the direct orders of the owner of «Golden ball» in 1984 Michel Platini, it was restored.
However, they are going to play 65 minutes more in line with the motto «the game was equal, played two shit», and so after Shirokov missed a penalty enraged by the irresponsibility of the Montenegrin fans, to somehow make the game interesting, pelted the field with all sorts of garbage. As a result, we – annealed Akinfeev, the Montenegrins, the probability of a technical loss and a sharp reduction in Russian tourists. As well as tourists from Russia are a major source of revenue of the state, that the unfortunate highlanders will have nothing but to eat grow in abundance stones. The paradox is that even the majority of Serbs goes to rest in Greece, as it is easier for 4 hours on the autobahn to reach the Aegean than half a day to climb up a winding military field roads.
In fact, in this incident there is no political motive. Montenegro – very funny and incredibly lazy nation. They are too lazy to fight with their main sponsors. The more stronger they Russian bratushek like only the Serbs (who, incidentally, was spotted at the Russian stands). Just some asshole threw the fireball. He was, incidentally, his own and twisted. Anyone except himself and his country, he didn’t hurt. So forgive the damned. Besides, listen to the national anthem of Montenegro: a feeling of «Sarabande» by Handel was made a military March, detailing how and what they will punish anyone who has something against them. With these guys it is better not to quarrel. A small thing, but very proud.
2. Suspicious generosity of Microsoft
The creators of the most popular OSes in the world have convinced the fans that may touch the beauty will be this summer. But the main event was not even the release date of «ten», and the statement of the Vice-President of Microsoft Terry Myerson: «We are modernizing all meet the requirements of PC Windows 10, despite the presence of a license.»
This all sounds well and good, as the «Sunday news» with Irada Zeynalova. But where is the guarantee that after the upgrade you will not come NSA employees and will not require the shekels for an updated «Windows»? The suspicious looks the statement that the license status will not change, that is, the noble pirates will remain pirates. No, Microsoft! Pass to Ben gates, I don’t trust your business projects!
3. Shovel and pancakes
What are the similarities between carnival in Stavropol and a female name Praskovya? Both stool.
In fact, the event, which will be discussed, occurred in late February, but became aware of it only in March. During the celebration of the pagan festival in Christianity obsessed country in the Stavropol authorities decided to please the urban gourmets megalina cooked on the street. And, of course, the pancake came out lumpy. Or rather, not lumpy, and just a huge bunch of idiocy. The fact that the organizers have lost one thing: the pancake turn it over. And as the pancake was large, and with the Trident of Neptune was not close, it was decided to turn shovels. Yes, ordinary shovels, which scavenge. Do not argue, most likely, the shovel was clean, and they even poured from the bottle, but the public was unstoppable. In fact, the scene where a crowd of people to feed pancakes straight from the shovel, like something from a barn where the pigs leave the waste with the help of this tool. What a versatile tool: and crap from the sidewalk scraped, and people feed!
Personally, I was confused quite another. In the end, I ate with unwashed hands, Olivier, full bath, and weddings drunk guests drinking alcohol and other Goodies from dirty shoes. The worst thing is that the pancake was terrible, rare and, at the request of the tasters, tasteless. And still couldn’t turn right! Scraped from the pan miserable damn, scraped the dirt from the asphalt of a Central street before the arrival of the President. In short, Gordon Ramsay was a shock.
Maybe in a parallel Universe, where the hair Kobzon considered natural, while Jay Z plays the flute in «Pesnyary», this is normal, but at least it is disrespectful to people. Although free damn edible even with a contraceptive, not something that with a shovel.
4. Solar Eclipse
Looked? No? Don’t worry. Next time it will be in 2033, after some miserable 18 years. Yes, it’s a shame, but in history this day will go down as another triumph of human ingenuity. All seen the picture where the dude is watching the hide and seek of the sun and moon through the door to the microwave like aims a grenade launcher? It’s brilliant! In General, the Lord God, of nature and the universe would have to conduct more such events: it is the only way to distract people from computers and gadgets to get them to go out and be smart. And to spit that the workflow is dead out. But all fun.
5. Classified material
Materials to be! Continuation of the cult series will be released in 2016. About it just recently officially announced. Well, I will wait. For 6 series Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny will be looking for the proverbial truth that, as always, is somewhere nearby.
In fact, it will be interesting to see how Duchovny portrays a spiritualized, a little «magic» on the head of Mulder after adhered to him the image of the playboy and heartthrob of «Californication». However, he will succeed, because many who doubted that Fox Mulder can get normal Hank Moody, with balls and charisma. Maybe after the last series of images of David, the producers will reconsider their views and to fulfill the dream of many fans of the series will show us a passionate act of love between the main characters, especially Gillian Anderson is incredibly good looking. So that will be something to see and something to rejoice. But most importantly, to the plot, as always cling to, because we love the secret materials for it.
6. «Opel», «Chevrolet», «Ssan Yong» and «Adidas» leave us
Crisis, sanctions, Crimea is ours, and the automotive industry reduces the number of plants. In short, the market goes popular heresy on wheels called «Chevrolet», «Opel» and pornographic coach with a reliable engine and raises fears the name «Ssan Jong». For some, this information means nothing, because for them to drive cheaper 3 million, approximately the same as the «Grammy» for Vlad Topalov – something out of science fiction, and it may not even be in theory. For the owners of the machines will be superfluous hemorrhoids to get genuine parts. And for people like me, it is a holiday, because it dramatically reduced the range of cars that I will never be able to buy. Well, seriously, the factories will close and there will be more unemployed. But our Crimea.
But for the «Adidas» doubly insulting. The Germans to close 200 of its stores. The most popular after «Eiki» and «Apple» foreign brand has turned its peddlers in athletes, hipsters and dandy. What now? The pain of loss can not describe. In the soul of fans of a corporate brand, the same deep wounds as bubbles on the knees of their worn-out sweatpants. Millions will have to forget about fashion, style, grace and go to more popular brands, like «abibas». But I hope that their life will be bright stripes. And perhaps even three.
7. Romeo and Juliet
In any case, the media tried to make the wedding of deputies of the state Duma Maria Maksakova-Igenbergs of the «United Russia» and Denis Boronenkov of the Communist party tragedy worthy of Shakespeare. The first ever Russian marriage deputies representing different parties, despite all attempts did not hit the public. Not impressed he and colleagues honeymooners: out of 450 deputies invited it’s only 10. And only one «United Russia», all others «Communists.» Probably decided to save on gift Duma «Romeo and Juliet» because the salary of government officials has reduced to a few percent.
8. Milon and Natashkino porn
After a leak in a network of deeply intimate and highly personal video from oral-vaginal life Natasha Koroleva and Sergey Glushko scandal. Video watched by none other than the hero of the Russian land, a person who cares about your morality until you recalledthe, – Vitaly Milonov. Whether out of envy or jealousy, but Vitaliy has suggested to create the Commission on ethics. Its task will be to view pornorolikov with participation of stars of cinema, music and show business. Rather, he simply was not enough of a video, so he figured out a way to combine the pleasant with the useful.
Think for a moment: he proposes to create a Committee for money to do display and search porn stars. A dream job! Although, as a rule, the x-files of the bedrooms of celebrities are incredibly boring, and even disgusting shot. But others are concerned. Unlikely stars have posted videos to the network, but no one would understand, and now Natalia want to deprive the most precious thing she had left, besides songs of Igor Nikolaev, – the title of Honored Artist. It turns out, media personalities, especially in marriage, it is impossible to remove home video and copulate in principle. Now the number of those wishing to become a famous drastically reduced.
But Sergey Glushko similar scandal does not hurt. On the contrary, only the demand will increase.