The immorality of postmodernity: your fault for making me uncomfortable
Very annoying when you here need to get off the escalator and were right out in front of you people still couldn’t let go to make room for you. I hate when someone walks imposingly in the middle of the sidewalk, without thinking that maybe someone in the way. Why don’t they take the trouble to think about others? I do not. I at least look around.
These things are not wasted more than two seconds: I turned around and realized, is to speed up or step aside. These thoughts do not take much time.
I wouldn’t say that I’m overly cautious and afraid of someone else’s discontent, I just think that people, once they live in the society must comply with in relation to each other some kind of commitment to things not to poison someone else’s life. I find it strange that some people, without exaggeration, a life lived in absolute ignorance about the obvious things. They inconvenience everyone and do not even know it. It would be like to live to fifty, not knowing that in the winter it is necessary to dress warmly. On the other hand, these people can experience some semblance of masochistic pleasure: always a pleasure to discover that you are somehow better than others.
In short, is that we begin to moralize in a vacuum, thinking of how people should behave in society. Or not empty?
You can say I dream of a world where no one rushes up to me and prevents me to get off the escalator, although this is a simplification. What is actually lacking in many of us, is a society in which nobody will interfere with and will not have to close my eyes on someone else’s mistakes.
This desire is difficult to realize, let alone verbalize, the more the world is not immersed in rudeness and ignorance. The desire for comfort is entirely selfish, it’s not a rational requirement of any quality improvements in the world. I need only temporary relief.
Morality as an attempt to evade responsibility
Very common: we use morality to justify why we don’t like what’s going on.
Most people, when they are uncomfortable, at least a little out of control — in most cases. Not always this anger is aimed at people sometimes hate pointless cover, because it did not want to shut down, or idiotic ladder, on which you stumbled and hurt his toe. You can resent and inanimate objects, and situations.
When we understand that the responsibility for our problems can be laid at someone in particular, our indignation reached its peak. Much easier and more logical to get angry at the person than to the situation (especially a stranger), because from the point of view of morality is easier to understand why people had to do otherwise.
Here’s the thing: morality finally gives a helpless man that always had reason to disagree with what we have.
Morality is the only way to rationalize the attempt of arguing with reality. Only morality allows us to see the world around and rightly to utter: «it should not be!» and to believe that we are right. We can not substantiate the statement from the category of «Now is not supposed to rain, but we can (and often do) say: «He wasn’t supposed to do that.» When we are uncomfortable, we find nothing better than to indulge in the reading of homilies. I always do, and notice it then.
We often (but not always) understand the absurdity of the punishment of animals, anger at inanimate objects or the weather just because they do not please us Come on, shit happens, and most smart people have learned to live with it. If with inanimate objects and circumstances we can accept, when it comes to people, we don’t give them any slack. Blame — period.
If you think so, then when you say, «He wasn’t supposed to do that», it’s like saying: «It is my fault that I’m angry.» So you elegantly take responsibility for their own mood. You irritate other people’s worthless morality that you read when you don’t justify someone’s expectations. When you blame someone else, take with you, and Vice versa when I’m mad at you, extreme in their eyes, be you — but when it happens «on the contrary», you’re somehow not in a hurry to agree.
What do we do when we make you uncomfortable?
In such circumstances, you want to vent anger on another person, because it’s easier just to bring the conversation to someone else’s moral responsibility. Our anger seems justified and we are responsible for it.
So it is convenient to think, but the easy option is not always the surest. In fact, irritation is a dissonance between reality and your attitude towards it. When you refuse to take responsibility for their reaction to the events, it only makes the situation worse, and morality is only roots you in the consciousness of his false innocence.
Life is a series of neutral events that you yourself give emotional and when you lose your temper, it means that you are depriving yourself of happiness.
Every time I have someone annoying, I find it for some moralistic basis and find that a thousand reasons. Any sentence boils down to how someone should not so to do. Why has not? Because it has complicated my life. If my life is complicated, it is immoral. Stupid habit, peculiar to many people.
Not allowing me to get off the escalator. «What is difficult to do a couple of steps forward?» Someone walks in front of me at the supermarket in the middle of the aisle with a cart, not letting me pass «I always go the way that he is a donkey».
What I inconvenient, the more serious moral issues I raise in your internal dialogue. It would be funny if it didn’t make me nervous.
We use morality to justify our irritation of other people’s actions. In a way we are forced to do otherwise, we place responsibility for our problems on ourselves. Responsibility no one likes, especially when it is associated with something unpleasant: no, it’s all their fault. The people who made the awkward packaging, which are impossible to open. Dude who took the last piece of pie with cabbage in the dining room because you wanted to — that he’s an asshole!
Don’t get me wrong. I wish all were attentive to each other, so that all packaging is easily opened, and people do not interfere with each other to go shopping. However, I live in a world that is different from my dreams, and when I meet with my discomfort, I force myself to be nervous. For other people, I can not influence — at least to their own perception of the situation.
Your reaction depends on you, and the moralizing was just a stupid idea. Who cares that I have a PhD on the topic «How to get off the escalator without disturbing others»? It does not change the situation. But patience is how to change.
Morality, of course, will help you to feel better than someone else, but you are definitely getting out. You yourself decide what is more important to you: to be better than someone else or be quiet.