The honeymoon is over — now what?

the honeymoon's over

Probably, the honeymoon is the first major obstacle in your relationship. And magic itself is fading away, your heart ceases to beat with joy every time you see her, and everything becomes not so exciting.

When the relationship just starts, it is difficult to imagine that one day there will be something similar, but to avoid it is very difficult. For many people, the honeymoon is over — real news, they take it to be the end of all relationships and interest, confusing the death of the pesky butterflies in the stomach with the death of love. This means that many people get divorced, break off a great relationship just because of the fact that they moved to the next level and things have changed a little.

What happens when you have this new feeling? How to distinguish natural changes from serious problems? How to overcome difficulties and not to lose each other?

How to understand that honeymoon is over

The honeymoon period lasts from six months to a year. It’s still interesting, and you constantly learn about each other something new, experiencing something unknown. One day you realize what you were doing with her everything. You feel like you have studied it thoroughly. Then there is what we warned you last week: there comes boredom. The man who a few months ago, one his appearance made your heart beat, now present in your life every single day. It feels like this woman was in your life almost always — at least for a very long time. Now a meeting with a friend no longer inspire you, because there is nothing unusual: you see. Boredom inevitably leads you to questions about your feelings. Are they still as strong? If so, why would you feel bored? The answer suggests that between you nothing has changed — except, of course, feelings.

However, if the feelings fade, there’s nothing you can do about it — does it mean that the girl is not the same? maybe it’s better to leave her?

Can. And start Dating someone else. You will again feel the trembling knees, the admiration and impatience before the meeting, and then everything will be repeated like last time. Honeymoon again come to an end, and it seems that this time the girl some not so. You know that she snores when she drinks. You’ll know that she loves the most stupid TV shows. You realize that the girl is not only lipstick and lace underwear: you see and old faded shorts on the bathroom floor, she forgets there after you take a shower.

This, of course, does not compare with that girl from the bar who smiled at you last night. I bet she’s going only wears lace thongs and watching cool TV shows like «house of cards» — and especially not the snoring. It is flawless.

And garbage, of course. But these thoughts are constantly swirling in my head, even if you realize they are worth nothing. It is difficult to resist. Is your girlfriend boring and explored, and new girl might be amazing and even perfect. You yourself believe that?

The beginning of the end or end of beginning?

So, you start to think about other girls or that some time to be alone. Anyway, you may be on the wrong reasons. Of course, there are lots of reasons to end the relationship. Maybe you’re just incompatible, and the TV shows are really stupid — you’re bored because she is boring. How to understand which problems are serious and which only an integral part of the evolution of the relationship?

First you need to install exactly the problem. Let’s say you’re bored. Bored with her or a relationship? With relationships something can be done, but if it’s her, this is serious. It’s one thing when you’re bored, because on Friday night you lying on the couch and watch a movie, and another thing, when you’re bored, because every word makes you sleep. Kot Bayun is not the best option to spend with him all my life.

How to return honeymoon

If still in doubt, better start to assume the safest option and try to solve the problem. Try to make the relationship, and if does not help, then the problem is deeper.

A little bit of space and time

Do not underestimate this advice. Can you meet too often or your daily routine has remained unchanged for a long time? Stay away from each other to re-assess the company of each other. In the end, you can’t miss if you are constantly together. You can not see a week or two or leave a few days a week for yourself. Talking about it must be carefully and correctly, otherwise your offer to spend less time together she will take it as a sign of mortal danger.

Second first date

Not so paradoxically it may sound. Our goal is to awaken the magic of the first days of your relationship. You’re try to impress each other as before. Of course, now you can shamelessly walking around in front of each other in pajamas and eat from the same plate — and that’s cool — but try a bit to remind ourselves of the past: the effort is worth it.

Side view

Look at your relationship from the outside, to understand what you want to give up. Paleocene her. Especially good if you have a girl-friend, to whom you can turn to she said, how your relationship looks from the outside. She can give you good advice. And she can tell you how it feels in a relationship your girlfriend: women have it easier to understand each other and get into someone else’s skin, even if they do not communicate.

Quicken the bedroom

Surprising: the bedroom is the best way to return the same interest. When the relationship just starts, you open up to each other, learn about other people’s preferences, experimenting. Now you know what you like, what she likes, and every time sex is the best for you, but the usual way is that every time you order your favorite pizza. Tell her to try something new: what have you been thinking about or something that never occurred to you. Even if this is a new position, all the same variety — gold.

With a little luck these tips — here’s what you need to bring in relations. However, much more important than all this — just make the change and the development of your relationship. Whatever you do, still the charm of the first days will not return — it is not necessary. When you breath, it says that the relationship is still immature. The good news: when you lose that spark, you become something else- a deeper and more significant connection. To get used to each other is not so bad, he not only kept periods of rapid heart rate.

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