The difference between a gentleman and a simple man
Many people mistakenly perceive gentlemen as arrogant people with high self-esteem and a high content of enthusiasm in the lymph, which at every opportunity, throw a coat under the feet of the lady and always go in a top hat and pince-nez. It really is just well-mannered, intelligent and educated man who knows how to treat people like human beings. But not only are these the qualities that distinguish the gentleman from the common man, some attributes of which you knew long ago, but hardly practiced. However, we will not long razmusolivat — read and remember: a lack of gentlemanly the man eventually turns him into a dull, dirty and ill-mannered animal.
A gentleman knows how to listen
There is a big difference between ability to hear and listen. To hear is simple, there is no talent is not necessary, even the animals with birds are able to hear. Sit yourself in the flow of sound vibrations and mind your own business. But to listen is another story, almost a lost art. To hear what speaks to you the interlocutor, to understand, to give advice and maintain a conversation with him — this is what is valued, not your healthy eardrum. Do the interlocutor’s attention, even if the topic is not really of interest to you. Most importantly, don’t interrupt, even if the topic is interesting, and you have something to say. So you confuse the interlocutor, and the poor man just might think that it plug.
Exercise: Talk to someone for 5 minutes, never killing (it is desirable that the interviewee has said not less than 3 minutes). In the course of conversation Express their interest using gaze, facial expressions and other nonverbal gestures.
The Quiet Gentleman
Somewhere in the Scottish Inverness among bald rocks, and icy winds, live the descendants of ancient noble families, proud representatives of the old clans, who each day begin with, that the ice poured whiskey on moss-covered Highland mountains and while screaming at full throat: «Kukareku!».
Of course, in the living room of their ancestral castle could hang a coat of arms, heraldry and ancient sword of their grandfather, massacred the French in the hundred years war, but if during a meal or conversation the man and then slams the man over the back and constantly interrupted him with his loud as thunder, the voice, it is unlikely that his behavior could be called gentlemanly. Because a true gentleman never behaves provocatively does not increase the obscene voice to a tone and not trying to outshout the interlocutor. If he wants to be heard, he will speak quieter if you interrupt him he will shut up and say such words, after which even the most arrogant citizen sheepishly shut up.
Activity: Talk with someone to soft music and try not to raise your voice.
If someone ever in your life will tell you something similar in meaning to the phrase «Nice guys finish last» — shit in their mouth, they’re idiots. There is a fundamental difference between nice and kind, and that’s what it is. If you look around, you will notice that people are not that creature, how to think. But the trouble is that most of the play the role of the «good» guys, in fact, being a rare human shit. In contrast to similar posturing, kindness is something sincere, natural. Therefore it is necessary to be a benevolent master.
Exercises: Help carry heavy packages to my neighbor on the fifth floor, do not hit a stray drunk, peeing in your yard, and do good throughout the land.
An Educated Gentleman
In the life of every man there comes a time when he begins to understand some things better than most. This happens regardless of social status and activities, because if you spend your life waving a hoe, you understand this better than 80% of the population. Of course, experience and wisdom is most often the consequence of life experience, but you can greatly expand the range of their knowledge at the age of 28 and 32 years when the majority of people consider themselves incredibly smart, but in fact only to be surprised at their stupidity.
It’s very simple: self-education, and now you can become as wise as Gandalf. Gentleman must know very much to be able to give correct answers to questions and to support any conversation. He is a gentleman.
Activity: Read a book, preferably a useful, time-tested, written not for fame.
The term «thoughtful» can be defined a number of ideas, most of which are gentlemanly. In total, their whole essence is to ensure that you’re always in front of any event, any action, think through their behavior. For example, how do you appease the owners of the house that invited you, or you’ve studied the people with whom you’ll have to run a business and have thought through your approach to them.
Exercise: Just get the above instructions and everything.
Gentleman — a true knight
Simple rules of courtesy became atavism, and to pass for «knight» — just enough to hold the door for the lady. Everything is ridiculously simple, but people ignore even basic rules of politeness and courtesy. Gentleman may seem arrogant, but he would never disrespect a person, even if they are on different social levels.
So give a hand women let people, not louts, you clear the place and pass for a knight. Although the «chivalry» that fact has not the slightest relationship, because you’re not going to kill people. It’s common courtesy.
Exercise: Hold the door to the person who comes after him, regardless of gender.
Gentleman able to reassure
The world consists of whiners and hysterics who love to poison the lives of peaceful people with their sob stories. So, when the next hysterics, lost life, will complain you, do not rush to poke his nose in his problems and scream that he is guilty. Be calm, like Professor Dumbledore, and watch your tone. You have to learn to spread out the situation down and calmly explain the plan of action. Don’t forget that someday you’ll have children, and their groans and lamentations will not, they’ll put you in the loony bin.
Exercise: don’t say anything negative in the next time you have a wild desire.
Nothing is better than to the person on whom you can rely on. Everyone should be his own man, which is popularly referred to as «the nearest boy crazy». The older you become, the more you will feel the importance of having close to your own fucking person. This is the man who will come to the rescue, without offering anything in return, this person, whom you can trust everything from the state of the soul and ending with the news that you suggested and gravy on a date and now standing in the bathroom, not knowing what to do.
One help out of any situation. Only there is one «but» these relations must be mutual. But if there is no trust, then there is no point in a friendship.
Exercise: the next time someone asks you for a favor, do not refuse and try not to delay its implementation.
Generosity is the highest virtue, is able to replace any Zen teaching. Do not be afraid and do not gloat, be lively and self-satisfied, be sincere, and do not rush to spoil their neighbors. It makes you invulnerable, and without this quality no one would trust you and rely on you.
Exercise: next time, don’t hurry to share deeply personal Affairs with people not too close.