The curse of perfection: how hard to be an idealist
At school there was a time when I diligently tried to be better than others and to study only for grades. Idealism was my credo. If I don’t jump on physical education for five-plus, know algebra perfectly well and to write without errors, I’m afraid to suffer. So to me at least it seemed. Class to 7th-8th I worked to maintain confidence in the fact that I was «very capable, good boy» and «athlete», I said teacher. In seventh grade I put four because I couldn’t jump as I said the gym teacher. The PE teacher kept calling Pavlovich, nobody remembered the sound of his full name and how old he is. He was a Soviet school, never drank, was athletic and tough as HIV. Pavlovich was one of those old people that make the young feel envy and shame over their physical performance and skills. The man was deeply respected by all, except those who were dud patients. In the head Pavlovich never placed the realization that someone can’t run 2 kilometres. He was thinking all this because someone lazy and not willing to try, released he despised as a class. Dude was convinced that I should jump on, and therefore didn’t ask me. So he was trying to stimulate. And I do not jump. The five jumped above did not jump, but p. still I have not been given the deserved five, even though I tried to foot pain. When the feet went from under me, I realized how idealism is a bad thing. If you think about it, the five I nafig not needed, just to make mom happy, but personally I was neither cold nor hot. From this realization I’m a little prifigel, so it was easy.
Idealism is ruining our lives though, because that makes us understand is not ideal. When we try to do something perfectly, we don’t understand what we really want. Even when the goal is more or less clear and even done we undertake a new task and try to give all the power to it also at the highest level. When something does not work or the result does not live up to expectations, idealist suffering, grievously tormented. If one or two things could be done very well, I always do it perfectly will not work.
The problem of the idealist always that it sure if better than others. It is in the child inspire parents, children, teachers, or himself. Most often it was he himself. When the guy put five, he thinks he’s working perfect, as the above five, except for a-pluses, nothing happens. First he draws the circles and hooks for five-plus and the same rating draws a rainbow and running, and that little creature looks like it belongs to a higher caste of those who does everything well. If he ceases to pull on these estimates, he loses his high position and falls down. But in fact nothing happened. Of course, when the little man is aware that it is possible to study for a certain assessment and a little quit to have time for yourself, pour oil on the fire teachers who don’t like that the guy is now four or even five with a minus. Dude, again, begins to think that he lost his position in society (hierarchy, children are well aware). When the man again begins to try to run fast, read well and to write correctly, he thinks that will again be the best, which, as the teachers say, all roads are open, only are well arranged in the life of intelligent and adaptive dudes and nerds and dweebs as something not very much. So I understand that you have to be tenacious, try to do everything well, but without fanaticism.
This article is not saying don’t try — we must try. No need to try absolutely everything to do well. Idealism is a way of thinking. The idealist, everything must be perfect: the perfect wife, perfect body, perfect Breakfast, perfect job done. He does everything carelessly, although sometimes it is possible to make do with what work is done that way. Smart dude, which is important mental health, try to understand when to do something, when — at a decent level, if you try, and when you really try. To do good impossible. You can select a few things and try to make them good.
In addition, you should always remember about other people. It so happens that in one some case you have invested all your soul, and others don’t think so. They can tell you: «Man, here there is a school of some sort, did not notice, probably. We must next try to do better.» And you busted our humps to make it work, and this dude easily negates all your efforts. You literally feel like you’re falling from a great height to the ground. With the height that you yourself set, nasty crap, man.
In life it often happens that I praise you for the work that you did somehow. In a class at University of rhetoric, I often dudes wrote a short essay for cigarettes on various topics. Himself also wrote (of themselves better), and praised them (and thus me) much more than those who sat on the task a week. And all this was done on the sill and somehow. Idealists forget two simple things. First: to do everything good and perfect will not work. Second: there are those who better them of the nature and deeper specializiruetsya in any sphere. And for them to catch will be difficult, but most important: why?