Thanatos and Eros: those who destroy their lives
Freud, of course, was a specific person. There are things that he very rightly described, there are things in which he was badly mistaken. But most of all Sigmund showed how skillfully he can point a finger at the heavens and even somewhere to get in. Specific was, of course, people do not say anything. But, honestly, I treat it positively, the reputation he tarnished all sorts of TP and pseudopsychology.
In this article we will talk about the people who are destroying their lives, but don’t suspect about it for a second. They believe that they live a normal human life, no better and no worse than others. But it is «no better and no worse than others» is the most destructive element to their lives that will only spoil. If those people who have destructive tendencies, it is obvious to everyone and even to myself going to something bad, but unhappy and happy this has come to this, that the heroes of this article are destroying ourselves some other ways in which a society sees nothing wrong.
The common trait in all these people is fear. The fear of exit from the proverbial comfort zone, fear to try something new, the fear of the judgments of society, fear for their lives and well-being. Like they do not drink to death like they’re not acting like stoners do not go to the personal growth training, but still their lives can become complete. But look around you: thousands of them, wherever you look. Therefore, they do not feel unhappy, although deep down they have a sneaking suspicion that despite the fact that they had children and got married, life kind of is not the same as feelings of satisfaction not at all.
1. They have no confidence to try myself in something else and the beloved
They surrendered under the pressure of parents when they urged them to go to the doctors, not circus performers. Moreover, they broke down not long, so… for decency. The fact that these people are strongly afraid of trying to do something else that has significantly less chances of a happy ending. Often a huge risk just in their heads, and the difference between some vet and the medic can be in the plan of arrangement is not so big. But why he thinks that the vet is more risky for the future of the profession, than the human doctor, who advocate the parents. He can’t sit down and think about this question, to weigh the pros and cons. He chooses everything according to the principle «where there are more advisers». And lives. The problem with this guy is that he not only doesn’t have the balls to do something, how banal self-reliance. «Parents protest» recaptured him any desire to do something. And he’s not completely loathsome creature that lives in the shadow of the parent, it just puts their opinion is more authoritative than his own.
2. Fear the judgment
All people depend on the society around. It is very unpleasant for many «independent» dudes the fact. Personality different from other people that it is much more decisions based on their own desires and interests. He doesn’t care what people think about him around. This condition is very difficult to achieve, to be honest. Like and the man says that he doesn’t care about the opinion of the crowd, but he suspects that it depends on. People are the worst judges. You’re afraid to somehow stand out from the crowd because you are afraid that someone will twist at a temple and say, «your weird!» Like I want you to do something, and people look condescending or disapproving, and you shrink into a ball, realizing that nothing can not and do not want to do.
Also happens when you need to meet someone new and join the team. You think: «what will they think if I joke? No, I’m not joking. Speak low and do your job!» No one comes to mind that is exactly what they will look weird. The same nonsense is happening with the girls. While we think that she thinks of us, what she thought, what she meant by these words, the girl was thinking only one thing: «He’s weak, or he doesn’t like me! Well, nafig!»
3. To avoid meeting new people
People is a very important part of our lives. Without people, we, unfortunately, live almost not. Without friends and communication between people quite quickly bent, a surplus of communication, too, sometimes, does not lead to anything good. People who are quietly destroying yourself believe that other people in our lives does not have any value for us and not affect us. Such people, if they have people to communicate, it is often good acquaintances, not friends. They use them to make up for lack of communication, filling virtual scale Relations», for sure they live in the painted world of the game Sims.
Most of all, they don’t like new people because they need to interact, to communicate, to find common ground and commonplace to endure. They may not realize that the old friends and acquaintances can leave their lives, and they ever remain alone in this cold world.
Dangerous tend to avoid people and especially new people. Introvert is not always unsociable person, it’s actually something else entirely (Jung somehow just believed that most people — ambivert that is, averaged). To see around him some of the same people, pushing those who wants to make friends is a bad idea. You fight with your natural curiosity, which is not good.
4. To pretend
No matter how much we say «love me black and white and everyone will love», we are still trying to put themselves in the best light. This is a normal thing, it is bad when we are trying to show the other side that does not exist. This is such a Potemkin village. The most annoying thing in this thread is that it is impossible to «keep face». When will the decent time, you will feel the negative impact of its «good game man» — a huge inhuman fatigue. Unfortunately, there are many people who have lost their true face. They are so many roles that they have no idea where they are. It makes such comrades hopelessly miserable.
Always remember that your deception can be revealed. Most likely, he revealed that people are surprisingly responsive feel any insincerity, even when you don’t know what it is. But no you will not tell about it. Maybe later dipped face in the dirt.
5. Be sure that «he’s not good enough for…»
… anything.» So, dude, there are people who are precisely made for some purposes. Have a school friend my nick was phenomenally long arms and legs and tremendous growth. Coupled with a good physique, he tore us all into basketball with a scary jumping ability. The team was nick, is automatically considered the winner, the other team was trying to lose with dignity. Some of them have a fucking natural talent, they are seriously lucky on the initial data. Equal people are not born, but that’s no reason to do nothing. From the worthless of the body can do what it takes to do what you like. Hard work can mitigate the shortcomings of the initial data.
6. Not to be able to give yourself a kick and move forward, gritting his teeth
Most of the problems people have is that they do not know how to overcome. This is a very unpleasant fact. With a small discomfort, we abandon to do something and go, tail between his legs. Us never comes to mind that, after waiting a bit, we will be able to get used to something and go towards what we like and want. Any most a minor issue in our way can force us to back up and go back. If you cultivate the ability to go forward to the dream and desired, clenching his teeth, you’ll always get out of the pit of self-destruction, which is so little known by those who say that «you should not torment yourself.» It is necessary, Fedja, is necessary.