Talk like a gentleman
To be a gentleman is not easy, and if you want to look like a gentleman, and behavior should be appropriate. Hold the door, give place, give a hand to the lady — this gentleman’s actions are familiar to many. But, do we know how to be gentlemen in communication when conducting a pleasant conversation or a business conversation? Even if you don’t strive to become a perfect gentleman, to be raised won’t hurt.
Here are a few rules from the old books of a gentleman, try to follow them.
1. Even if you’re convinced that your opponent does wrong, give him dispute, or deftly changes the subject, and do not persist in defending their own opinion.
2. You can have your political opinions, but should not be parading in all cases, and above all, don’t try to force others to agree with you.
3. Never interrupt the one who says, don’t correct him if he made a mistake in the date or name if you will not ask about it.
4. Don’t let on that you’re tired from the long speech of your interlocutor. Don’t look at the clock, don’t thumb through a magazine and takes a glance at a passing lady.
5. In General conversation, never start to talk when the other person is saying, and never raise your voice to drown out the voice of other participant of conversation. Do not create the impression of superiority and don’t say a dictatorship; your conversation should always be helpful and honest.
6. If you don’t ask and don’t start talking about their own business or profession; to keep General conversation to a subject that concerns your personal activities — ill-mannered and vulgar.
7. If in a dispute you can’t try on the two sides, try to refuse participation. You can’t choose both sides, and choosing one, run the risk of losing good relationship with others.
8. Never during the conversation don’t try to focus completely on yourself.
9. Smart and versatile person is always modest. He should never show up in everyday conversation how he’s smarter than his interlocutors, and how much better he understands the topic of the subject. He will discuss with Frank simplicity the topics started by others, and everything he says will be imbued with courtesy and respect to the feelings and thoughts of others.
10. You need to not only be able to speak well, but also to be an attentive listener.
11. Never listen to a conversation between two people who are separated from the group. If they are close to you and you to hear their conversation, move to another location.
12. In conversation avoid long speeches and tedious stories. However, if another tells a long story, listen respectfully until he has finished.
13. Talk about yourself, but not enough. Your friends will know your dignity, not forcing you to talk about them. And likewise, it should tell you about your mistakes.
14. In talking about your friends don’t compare them with one another. Talk about the benefits of each, but don’t try to strengthen the advantages of one, confronting them with shortcomings of another.
15. Avoid conversation topics that can offend and hurt away. A gentleman would never slander or listen to slander.
16. The wittiest man becomes tedious and ill-mannered when it tries to fully capture the attention of the company where it needs to take a more modest part.
17. Avoid clichés and try to use quotes in rare cases. They sometimes make a very piquant addition to conversation, but not in the case when they become a permanent habit.
18. Avoid pedantry; it is a sign of stupidity, not intelligence.
19. Speak your own language correctly; at the same time don’t be too a big supporter of the well-formedness of phrases.
20. Never do comments and don’t correct others if they make mistakes in his speech.
21. If you’re a scientific person, avoid using technical terms. It is bad form, because many people do not understand them. If, however, you unconsciously use a term or phrase, then don’t make another big mistake, explaining the meaning of the term. No one will thank you for the way you emphasized their ignorance.
22. Be careful and never play the role of the jester, you will become known as the «funny» guy, and this characterization does not provide dignity to the gentleman.
23. Avoid in conversation bragging rights. To talk about their money and luxurious things in your house — it’s bad. Also not to brag acquaintance with prominent people. If their names are pronounced naturally in the course of the conversation, that’s fine, but always specify «my friend, Governor K», or «my close friend, the President,» this sounds important.
24. Brutally and meticulously in the conversation to insert a phrase in a foreign language.
25. To use a phrase that admits of a double meaning, is ungentlemanly.
26. If you notice that the conversation starts to get angry or change the subject or shut up. The heat of the moment can say such words that calm you never would have come.
27. «Never speak of ropes to a man whose father was hanged,» the vulgar but popular proverb. Stick to this rule in communication.
28. If you travel frequently, try not to talk about their travels. There is nothing more severe than the person who begins every sentence «When I was in Paris» or «Italy I saw …»
29. Avoid gossip; it’s disgusting even for a woman, but the man is absolutely vile.
30. Avoid flattery. Oh, let’s say in the conversation, but this was a gross flattery, and smart people are disgusting.