Suck it up: how not to be a jerk

manygoodtips.com_4.12.2013_eUK6vvLkSNXYIAbout the nature of men written much. Much has been written about what qualities make a man a man. Like the ancient authors did not know the best topics and continuously practiced in their understanding of masculinity. The Bible, the Iliad, the Odyssey, the Icelandic sagas — all of these ancient literary works including the topic of courage, and spoke about how to achieve it. In the Bible men makes men submissive to the will of God. In the «Iliad» and «Odyssey» heroes are measured by their ingenuity and ability to wield weapons in battle. In Icelandic sagas, men deserve their right to be called men because of the respect from the male community.

The question is timeless

«What it means to be a man?» — this question will occupy humanity in all ages. Our site is not the first nor the last attempts to answer this question. All, whom would you ask, will tell you the different qualities and activities peculiar to men — it all depends on who you ask. Who remember hard work, and someone — military service, the ability to play football, the beautiful press, the ability to drink a lot, the number of women with whom he slept — everyone has their own ideas about masculinity. Even if you collect all these qualities together, we still do not get a comprehensive portrait of the husband, and the more abstract idea that there are people, and quite confusing. The word «courage» already discourages: it sounds too abstract.

I remember in geometry class we were taught to prove theorems by the method of «contradiction» suggesting that the theorem statement is not true. The same thing we do with the concept of man. We will look at what no man should and as a result he immediately decided the proud title of man. It is difficult to Wade through the jungle of human stereotypes and to cut down of them rotten trees, from which there is no benefit, but we will try.

To be a victim means to be a man

Masculine in all world cultures from the age connected with activity and initiative. People show the will, operates, performs, creates and creates. This should be doing. The word «sacrifice», on the contrary, contains a connotation of passivity, dependence on the will of the circumstances. In a progressive society increasingly rooting in our minds of tolerance the victim becomes almost the main member companies, which all support, cheer, clap on the shoulder, raise off the floor and shake and hand lead forward. People who are not fortunate or who have fallen through their own fault, are being erected in the rank of saints, although not done in this life is important and useful. Why is this happening? Because they play the role of victims and need sympathy. Not a very manly position. A man can support the weak, but if he chose the role of victim (or is forced to play this role and resigned to this fact), he kills himself. When a person refuses to acknowledge and correct their mistakes, he loses part of his masculine identity. When the person shows complete submission to circumstances and are not looking for ways to help yourself, what kind of a man?

A convenient role of the victim

My grandparents grew up during the war. They were starving, undernourished, and all children in their families was one pair a shoes that are all worn as appropriate. What these people did? Rose and everyone you meet and cross tell these stories to pity them, and warmed, and if lucky, bought them new shoes? No. They have learned to carefully maintain the farm, efficient use of stocks and be careful about things. These people have learned to overcome difficulties and obstacles and tricky situations to take only the best. That is what we need to do, and not to look for excuses for self-pity.

Recently I was hanging out at a party where there were a lot of people: my friends, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends — a great bunch of people. One man from the audience recently got off of anti-depressants and in the midst of the party wanted to attract attention. What did he do? He wept aloud, lamenting how bad his life is as empty and meaningless and how he was sick of it. Of course, the man drunk, sober, few people would dare so to act. What is the example? So, he drew attention to himself. So, the girls felt sorry for him. Now how is this guy the male part of the audience at the party? With bitter irony, the other with indulgence, with the understanding that to deal with this dude is not worth it. Why? Because the normal types do not behave. If you treat this behavior quietly, it only breeds passivity and encourages constant inaction.


Passivity, inaction, helplessness: how could you not imagine the courage, I doubt you would like to use any of these words in describing yourself. Give up the victim mentality in any of these forms. Try on the role of the victim at yourself and think if she can be pleasant and what is its price. She’ll turn you into a helpless chip floating on the waves of destiny and surrounded by hostile external forces.

Maybe if men gave themselves the trouble to look closely at the role of the victim in contrast to courage, they would understand how true the traditional, old-school idea of the man. Alternatively, you can start to stop feeling sorry for yourself.

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