Sour milk: the shelf life of the relationship
When the food in the fridge moldy, we throw away. If we are terrible brakes, it happens much later than it should, and sour milk and soup with a mold long poisoned the life of our fridge. The ability to utilize their resources and quickly throw food when she detects the first signs of damage, comes with experience and time. Smart dudes from monitoring your fridge and stocks and silly and 30 years of sausage finally dies in the bowels of mold and bad smell. Why the same principle does not come from relationships? When the food dies, throw it away, but when relations die, for some reason they leave.
A huge problem with many people is that they from an early age believe that something has to last forever. But there is nothing eternal, even this universe was not always, and when originated in the Big Bang. People think that the quality of the relationship must last to the grave, that love and friendship is eternal, and if they are not eternal, isn’t the same, it’s not «real». None of them comes to mind that «real» classification, invented by someone or by themselves and has nothing to do with the real, more severe, situation. Literature, movies, books, standard education and issues of morality trying to convince us since childhood that true friendship and love to pursue people to the grave, and if someone in the pair will die before the other must be in perpetual mourning, wearing black clothes like a goth, until he too will die. The example fans of «universal morality» I like to bring history, graphs, tsarist Russia, etc. No one comes to mind that part at that time was either impossible, or very difficult depending on time and social status. Many nobles actually lived separately from each other for many years, and in the community knew about it. In medieval and Victorian England was, by the way, the original way of cheap divorce for the poor, who are unable to destroy until the mid-nineteenth century. It consists in the fact that the husband took the horse’s harness and led her wife to the market where natural way… sold. Most often it was by mutual consent and the wife went to the house to whoever she liked at the time, and the husband received the money.
Also people love to cite as an example the sacrifice of the Decembrists and women like Nina Griboedova that after her husband’s death kept him faithful all his life (when her husband died, she was, by the way, 16). In fact, it is not only wrong, but abnormal from the point of view of banal psychology. But the morality of society, education and some causes are described below, prevent us to realize that it is time to begin a new phase of life. These relations have expired on the expiration date, it’s moldy shit, meaningless, pull us forces. If you’re sick of this woman and all women seem boring, silly and uninteresting, you ruin their life, relationships and your perception of reality.
The friendship that we don’t need is called harmful. This we was a good article. Relationships that make us unhappy, too, lit up in a huge number of our articles. At least this man. The first sign of unnecessary relationship between a girl and me: they are going nowhere. Or do not go. Relationships always lead somewhere: to living together, the family and marriage or to nowhere. If you feel uncomfortable together, unnecessary relationship. Often uncomfortable happens to girls: they want relationships always have somewhere to go.
The second reason: the relationship dried up. You feel nothing for this person, you no longer have any common interests, and the woman next to you «does not arise».
Why no one wants to leave
With the exception of children, there are a few reasons in order not to leave a woman.
The fear of change
To change something scary. People fear the unknown. You don’t know what will be your life without that person; you don’t know who you are without this person. Fear of change keeps us in dead-end job, miserable relationship, and a strained relationship with his family.
Fear of being alone
Loneliness is something that many fear. This fear is one of the signs of an immature personality or solely extroverts attitudes, because in fact alone there is nothing wrong. When you realize that to go to cafe or cinema also cool or even cooler than in the company or with a girl, you will comprehend the essence of existence. Most people make new relationships is a convenience so that someone nearby was either out of fear of loneliness.
Fear of failure
How many times have I heard from dudes that stupid phrase «I never nobody will like»! As a rule, after this the guys are relationships and not alone. There are, of course, the guys who caused irreparable mental trauma, and after that they became cynical bastards — and they still fall in love. The problem is that all this pretentious crap «my soul is empty, I can never love you» is because the dude is corny afraid of a new relationship, so try to choose the most convenient. And as we all know is wrong.
How to understand that it’s time to part
Sometimes we think that we are really in love. Sincerely, strongly, to the warm longing in his chest. Then we suddenly realize that this man next to a stranger. Former passion, kissing and sex lost something, and especially fucking carry only the orgasm, the need to pick up the remains of their livelihoods and wash. Sex is a little different from jerking off, I swear. To the two of you were together a long time, the relationship must somehow be heated. Many bro, even I used to think that the phrase «the Main thing is to have something to talk about» came from the lips of a women and it sounds naive. This is actually a slightly modified phrase from the works of Nietzsche, and it has a fucking meaning. See, that’s the problem, man? Love is a fire. No matter how big he was in the beginning, he’ll be out of business regardless of size, if not to throw fuel into it. So you have a girl needs to be common interests, topics of conversation and the opportunity to spend time with interest and benefit. If Friday night, the lights in the house and you will find something to do after sex, then everything will be cool. If you do well, it is nice even just walking around the house after work and there is always something to talk about, we can say that the relationship will last long.
In a bad relationship, we feel trapped, we don’t want to go home do not want to introduce her to his parents and do not want to be with that person. As I wrote above, all the women seem to us ridiculous, absurd, boring, petty and have all those features that were vested in the one that so annoys us. Stay in a toxic relationship ruining your life and an idea about its standards, so it’s time to quit and throw that shit on the street.