Sex, booze and fist fight made from monkey man

While some say that man was created in the image and likeness of God and others selflessly believe in evolution. However, the exact reasons why separated man from the monkey kind, and became the way he is, no. There is a logical theory about the way of life, the process of finding food, work, the magical gene. And there are theories which eloquently testify all thanks to the wickedness of our ancestors. And that’s what the vices.


Proud of its aristocratic, model family, aristocratic roots, a well-known ancestors? Brag about in the family, as the selection, were respectable persons, and none of the drunk, a bum and a scoundrel? I hasten to disappoint you, 10 million years ago, your great-great(many times great)grandmother was an alcoholic. And it was that grandmother-monkey you’re not sitting in a cage and not rushing to the Rangers faeces. Thanks to her alcoholism, if I may say so, you’re sitting on the other side of the cell.

And that’s how it was. The staff of the School of medicine of Indiana University and the Foundation for applied molecular evolution in the United States followed the evolution of enzymes, allowing it to break down alcohol. In the experiment, the scientists noticed that the last common ancestor of human and orangutan these substances no. Gaining the ability to metabolize alcohol, getting ethanol from energy experts explained to mutation at the moment of separation of the orangutan from a branch of humans, chimpanzees and gorillas.

This was not 10 thousand and 10 million years ago. A very important date, almost like Putin’s birthday. It was at this point our tailed ancestors have carried out a great revolution: they started to descend from the tree to the ground and to master the movement on two legs.

American biologists have come to the conclusion that the climate of this time became more arid, forage base has narrowed, and our ancestors were forced to descend the trees to retrieve the fallen fruit. Fermented rotten fruit pulp contained alcohol and had a weak alcoholic effect. Monkeys dine «funny fruit», inevitably got drunk, and then well-known scheme: the boys went down to drink and walked to beat a muzzle saber-toothed tiger, and the girls gathered a narrow circle and complaining about what the male – goats, devoured the fruit equivalent of «Martini».

Thus, in the course of natural selection, survive only the strong, capable, not krivas and enjoy the rotten «alcoholic» bananas and quietly run to the tree, because already then it was clear: the drunken monkey – grief in the family. Drunk individuals, without the enzyme became easy prey for predators.

So, if painfully want to drink, don’t be alarmed – it’s just a genetic echo of the past. Please thank your ancestor – alcoholic «pioneer».

The massacre 1.0

Comrade Engels was wrong, saying that work made from the APE man. Does not work, but it is a real massacre, according to anthropologists from the University of Utah. They reported that characteristic human shape of the brush was formed primarily due to its ability to develop into effective in fights fist. Old rules aggression, and our ancestors the desire to beat, maim or even kill there were not less than several times a day.

To confirm the theory, as usual, gave the experiment. To participate in it invited ten men aged 18 to 50, each of which had experience training in Boxing or martial arts. The volunteers had to strike at the punching bags, while scientists are using special sensors recorded the speed and force of impact, and the degree of deformation in the wrist.

The researchers found that although the ability to form a fist does not increase the force of the blow, it makes it more effective at half the square. In addition, it was found that the emphasis of the fingertips in the palm, which takes place in the fist of four times reduces the degree of deformation during impact. This not only protects the hand but also helps to transfer mechanical momentum. This also contributes to the support of the index and middle fingers large.

And it used to be that the thumb came to our ancestors only through labor. Like, tears great-great-grandfather from the branch – his fingers were useless to shorten. Started trying to build out of feces and sticks a rotary capacitor, to try to implement subtle manipulation – he has the thumb for convenience has grown.

If nature has adapted man’s hand only for the dexterous manipulation of objects, it could create a better design. Frankly, we are not the best in this sense, the model. In most so all hands useless fins of a Dolphin.

But a fist is another thing. As already mentioned, a great tool for attack and, accordingly, for dominance in the fight for food and females. Monkey boxers unworthy, they are in a normal fist even at all desire the paw mind. So suck it up. In fact, our hands appeared only in order to make it easier to beat the monkeys.

The massacre 2.0

Speaking of the scuffle. It is believed that the skull was purchased by the current features is also largely due to the massacre. It used to be that to replace heavy, like Marlon Brando in the Godfather, the face of Australopithecus, eating coarse vegetable fiber, came easy jaw a new person that started to eat meat. And then the whole skull is reconstructed.

Then it turned out that hominids ate only fruit. Then came the question: what the hell?

Then one of the American scientists and suggested a fist fight as a hero of the occasion. Supposedly, fights, competition for territory, females (in General, anything since then has not changed) occurred every second, and His Majesty natural selection has made its choice in favor of males with strong skulls.

Anthropologists have shown that in the course of evolution, our forefathers especially appreciated the eye-socket and cheekbone. In representatives of the genus Homo, this process has slowed somewhat in connection with the General reduction in muscle mass: people have not had the need to withstand such powerful blows in the face, which was subjected to the Australopithecines. Modern males confirm this hypothesis with their jaws. Look at your lead muscles of the lower jaw, they are 30-40% stronger than women. This protects them from displacement and fracture of the jaw during fights. So stop counting boxers are stupid, they may, another milestone in the evolution.


There is one very confusing and incomprehensible theory, the burning option: a person took the lead in having sex.

The fact is that if wild animals – a limited ovulation cycle, the person may be combined all year round. If APE ancestors of love was not as long as the female is not Mature and has not submitted a mark, some females were observed changes. The male is always ready, but the human female she did not know whether it is ready or not.

Ignorance of the time of ovulation means that sex must (and can) engage in constantly. Yes, it is the possibility of multiple dirty and vicious copulation throughout the year without any cycles and constraints, so developed and flawed. Hence monogamy, family, property and the care of offspring. Males, instead of fighting among themselves for females, taking care of business: produce food, bring it to their female, receive the love and care.

And don’t forget that a human child is the most undeveloped and maladjusted child in the world. A screaming piece of meat, it should bear for months, and General care gave rise to a romantic attachment. And while friends of your primitive simian ancestor yelled: «Find yourself a new girl?» the ancestor proudly answered: «Good.»

The concept of family emerged much later, and even then he began to babble something like: «Her name is written on my line of life.» The monkey knew that the pack was corrupted, and we need to root out the rotten fruit. But the presence of his wife, constantly sends him in search of food and money for new housing was not scared of our ancestor. He did not care. Monkeys from such indifference launched into a long thought, but because their brain was not suited to serious mental activity, all of them have died from overexertion. Well, they destroyed that the human ancestor thought to stone watering goats, standing on hind legs, because in order to attract the provisions of foolish cub, you need to move without relying on hands. So, all women, for which they thank you.

P. S. According to another theory, the foci of human origin were few. Accordingly, in each climate zone apes have evolved differently. Simply put, the population was more colorful than in the universe of Tolkien. According to the wild animals of different climatic zones and then met each other and were uncontrollably mate (which is normal, people are constantly mated with Neanderthal). As a result, there are different types (some of them are real bastards), of which one day a man appeared.