Say what you think, and think what you say
With that, dudes (and not only) there are often problems. When I say what I think, it is easy to offend people and seem to him a complete asshole. When you think, what you say, there is nothing wrong, except one — the possibility of becoming a hypocrite. There is this one drawback: we don’t think say, it would be necessary more often.
Turns out, you can say what I think and not to offend the interlocutor. You are much more likely to think what they are saying.
Let’s say you don’t want to date a girl because you have nothing, you’re not suited. One would really say, but instead you lie to her, not answering calls or texts, remove from friends, hoping she’d get the hint.
She’ll understand. Moreover, not only a hint but something else, namely: you’re a real coward. There is an alternative to such behavior is to say «we don’t work, because too often you get drunk and lose control,» she will be offended. Honesty can go very badly for you. Although we are all adults and can somehow come to terms with a harsh life.
When you want to end the relationship is allowed to be devastatingly honest, as there is a chance never to see. Unless she starts Dating your friend or father — then it will be really awkward.
At work still harder. There is not always best to tell the truth. Some bosses can take it, and some — under any sauce. Better not say nothing to him of its claims: suddenly fired. Although there is as lucky.
Tells the story of life. I once had a boss who shouted at me. He actually yelled that he had a blushed face, and he was pathetic when, as it seemed to him, adorned in his anger. Personally, I don’t like it when people shout at me, but in that place I am well paid, but because such behavior had to be tolerated. One day I could no longer stand it and decided to tell him what I think about it. I talked to him, stepping on the throat of his own fear, and you know what? The result was better than I could imagine. The man was much more normal than pretended, and said screaming, because most people out of fear of the cry makes everything better. When I explained that I belonged to that type of people, who lost all desire to run after the screams, he shook my hand and was released to the world. And you know what? More he never raised his voice to me.
The moral: you can bring your (even unpleasant) thoughts to the person in a calm and neutral tone, and it is likely that this will be enough to reverse their behavior.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep
If a party you are introduced to the doctor, do not immediately overwhelm him with questions about their diseases. He’s not at work, a party, it is fun. If you really want to talk to him, ask for his number or business card if it doesn’t work in the district hospital, and in a more representative place.
Human nature forces him to be nice and show support. We act friendly, because it helps us to think about ourselves — at least for a while. We want to look cute (remember the situation with your doctor). So, he will answer you, but just to be polite. If you’re not going to use its services, it is not necessary to promise: why introduce the man astray?
If you want to be nice to him, take his business card and say, «If someone of my friends have a problem, I’ll give them your phone». And you’ll be glad that you behaved in a friendly manner, and he will not get you false promises.
The moral: Even if you think that the conversation is not serious, do not promise things that are not going to do. Perhaps your interlocutor takes every word at face value. The need to keep promises has not been canceled.
Did not read, but I love
It happens that in society it comes to books and films, just a shame not to read and not watch, but you just have the one who is ashamed. All discuss, share opinions, analyze it, and you are silent. When you ask if you read, I’m tempted to say that I’ve read, especially if you have several times admitted that he did not read the other books. So, you do not need.
If you lie you have to lie, but to lie about books is very difficult (take it from someone who repeatedly passed the exams and tests in the manifold literatures). If you have not read the book, you can’t talk about it. If you have not watched the movie, same thing. You don’t know the plot (or know about it don’t know the concept and thoughts you have is not like this. Don’t give yourself a chance to fall and be caught when your lies go too far. You’ll feel a complete fool.
The moral: When you try to sound smart, easy to make the opposite impression. Better to honestly admit: «I have Not read, but…» and steer the conversation in that book or that movie that you are able to discuss.
The new you
Over 2013, what does this mean? That time when people could trust each other on the floor, long gone. In this situation, it is particularly nice to be the exception, when your word is valued like gold.
It is not always possible to stand under the pressure of boss and tell him what you think. It’s hard to tell friend that she has not meet your expectations. However, the only way you can get a reputation as a direct and honest person, and you will be respected much more than someone who constantly hides their thoughts.
You would be the one who says what he thinks and thinks what he says. Your word is stronger than steel.