Profession, which are in fact not as easy as you think

Again thinking about your purpose in life, many of us look with envy at artists, writers, and employees of «Gazprom», the homeless and others. It seems that these people are doing the absolute nonsense that minor child. However, it is not so simple.

Taster

«Yes, I am in my life, so much has too much to drink: wine and vodka, and I pure alcohol without wincing, drank! I can with my eyes closed the smell to distinguish from Cabernet Sauvignon!» It’s all well and good, but the alcohol experience enough to become a successful taster. Moreover, if you are drunk, you will be unbearably painful to go to work. Judge for yourself, alcohol-containing liquid, as a rule, spit. Drink in small SIPS, and while rolled flavored «bulk» in the oral cavity, only himself dragon. To even try the food is not as fun as it sounds.

All this, of course, delicious, but incredibly difficult. You need to know all the flavors of their classification, to remember by heart what the slope is increasing, which winemaker this variety was bred, what and why. What distinguishes this company from others, and what technologies do they use? What is written in small print on the tube of wines from the 2008 harvest of little-known Slovak brands? These are questions you will ask on the exam to pass three times harder than Flappy birds to pass with trembling hands to the middle.

Artist

«The dude’s nose was bleeding and he asked for it twenty!?»

«How could I understand that it is a great art if you were not warned about this?» «Wonderful… or terrible. I don’t know.»

«Modern art is when you buy a picture, to close the hole in the wall, and come to the conclusion that the hole looks better.»

«Modern painting is just like women: her never enjoy if you try to understand.»

This is not a complete list of citations, discrediting contemporary art. Well, looking at the pile of rubbish in the corner of the hall, covered with tape, and I can not understand why. I wanted to tell the artist who painted a crimson ball on a yellow background? And most importantly, why daub, consisting of colored stripes on a black background, painted crooked, like you painted color pen in fifth grade, it is worth of$ 30,000?! So you think maybe we should take up a brush, paint and build your masterpiece! To draw something you can, but money for it is unlikely to get.

Maybe your paintings will have more meaning, maybe your pile of debris fenced with a tape, will be beautiful (because you have to use expensive packets and jars from the elite sprat), and your Wiener on canvas more realistic than in modern undegroundlove creators, but that’s not it. You need to make a name for himself, long to work in order to have your name become recognizable (it must be able to draw, and to observe the proportions, the composition is difficult), if possible, to join the venerable creative group, to exhibit their work at exhibitions, to get bored, and it is better to make friends with the critics, that you wrote rave reviews, and your paintings soared in price. And only canvas you to translate. There is even a modern art creation that fascinate. So, most often they are designed. After all, you need to be a subtle psychologist to become commercially successful, and that your works are singing odes to colleagues and critics.

Critic

It seems there is nothing easier than to sit in front of the TV, theatres, exhibitions, premieres, describe your experience and get paid for it. The more often the critic is stimulated specie. But here their difficulties. Look how many sofa critics divorced on the Internet. And then what? Alan Garbett said about this wonderful phrase: «to Criticize any fool can, and many of them are doing just that». Everyone can criticize, but to do it correctly. As one little-known critic: «I’m on cultural studies 5 years studied, in vain listened to all of this heresy, the timing fucking taught?»

Indeed, you need to be able to notice nuances that might be invisible to the mass audience, to be able to build speech so that it is clear what you’ve got against another Comedy by Sarik Andreasyan. Phrases like: «Yes, because this shit! Directed you hear!» – will not be enough. Need some constructive criticism. In addition, whether you are a theatrical, musical or film critic, you have to possess a great deal of knowledge, you should know all the material by heart, it was with what to compare. Otherwise unconvincing. Otherwise, you criticize the object can put you in trouble.

To break out of the top critics is not easy. Need to blow from start to finish, in Newspapers such as «Kolomna aesthete,» and even in major journals on the sidelines. Charging anything interesting you are unlikely. You need to develop your own style, preferably recognizable, preferably sharp, otherwise the cut through the thickness of competitors will be very difficult. «A critic is someone who does not have his talent, but buried in a strange land» – a statement that is not appropriate for modern life. Increasingly this person able to convey to the audience why it is worth spending the money on this talent.

Writer

«Why, when a person can not do anything, it goes to the Directors,» said mark Zakharov. The same can safely be said about the writers.

Literature would be much easier without the scribblers. Maybe our eyes would not see, then, all the ugliness, referred to as «tabloid literature», and books like «How to seduce a millionaire.» But people do not understand. On the contrary, they respect the memories of a 29-year-old footballer will think: «what have I done? My life is too interesting,» and wrote his schizophasia. The fact is that not everyone can be writers. Unfortunately, among the published authors, writers, one, two and miscalculated. Here is all about money, marketing, promotion and communication. Do you have them? There, you say? Congratulations! And the talent? Not sure? The school works mostly 5/4? Well, of course this figure! Just do not do it, they say, «if only». This is a very delicate matter.

Many people think that they can write just as clearly and sharply, like Dovlatov. But most often, these trials involve a poor imitation of the famous author. And why copycats? Need something new.

It is not enough to have a desire to write, need to know how to construct sentences, to turn verbal participle phrases and metaphors, not to pour grafomanskie set. If Kafka did not consider himself a writer, not published in life no story, what about you? You need to love writing. In the end, this activity is tedious as all his life to do homework. Your creation must be sincere, bright, cuts to the quick and something unique and not another confessions of soul-searching with a hint of Palahniuk, Salinger, and Welch. This is not learning, but if there is talent, it ain’t gonna work.

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