handing out Russian citizenship

Last week, Roy Jones became a citizen of Russia. What can you do in such a country we live in. The poor man Roy thought that we’d be happy with this PR move, but, tired of the global sensation after Depardieu, we need to be cautious towards any new citizen who receives a passport in one day. But as the fashion for political performances featuring the rich, famous and don’t want to pay taxes, most likely, will continue, we think of those who can actually benefit the country. Moreover, that comrade Jones explained that is not just going to be photographed with buranovskie grandmothers and get an apartment in the «Grozny city» and to raise the domestic professional Boxing (do not say, as a boxer he was great). But what useful will give Naseri and Fred durst, namemovie about the crazy love Russia, we, frankly, can not understand.

American writers

About the Russian series does not spit only Housewives complain that they have nothing to watch. On bezrybe, as you know, and crayfish for 15 million rubles will buy. But, looking at the empty domestic adaptation of «homeland» on countless sitcoms on TV channel «Russia» about women with an unhappy destiny and the hopeless rottenness of the times of the Soviet Union, which rivet with the breeding rate of rabbits, it becomes boring. On the Comedy segment even to recollect terribly. Gena Bukin – is sacred, since childhood. But funny, these series are only after ironic obstaravania on «4chan». Therefore, we propose to compel the Russian citizenship comrades: Aaron Sorkin has created «Studio 60 on the sunset street», Picolata nickname («True detective»), David chase («the Sopranos») and Tom Kapinos («Californication»). With Sorkin problems should not be, judging by the name, it has our launches a hi, and awards («Oscar», «Emmy», «Golden globe») speak for themselves. Chase will learn to do for NTV normal crime series, and «COP wars «666» will differ a deep scenario and charismatic characters. And thanks to the Kapinos sortirny humor TNT will find the depth and citation. Maybe after the series about the Soviet Union you will find the authenticity and «Fargo,» a series about mothers-divorcees will be kept in suspense, and to be deep conversations. A pathetic parody of «house» and «Clinic» will gain independence.


No matter what anyone said, and Russia is full of great actors. We have a wonderful acting school, and representatives of the «old guard» is able to give odds to the Western actors. So we, it would seem that there is no need to domesticate another artist. We have one tamed, so he is now a citizen of Belgium. But there is one guy… so dear, so sincere lence DiCaprio. Not only that, he has Russian roots, so he once mentioned that it is not against to play our Joseph Stalin. Only here the scenario right there. Here and need good writers with Hollywood.

In addition, net Russian compassion is a sin not to give a talented man a well-deserved award. Lence of which year Oscars hurt. So don’t worry, we from the title of people’s artist, 15 «Golden eagles» and, in any case, the title of master of sports and honorary miner of Kuzbass. House in Grozny is, of course, is not discussed.

Stephen King

As rightly pointed out by observers, and Belarus have your Nobelist for literature, and in Russia. Disorder. And it seems the country is rich in vulnerable scribblers, besides Pelevin once in the head and no one comes. We do not have the world classic, which in an ecstatic convulsions fought the whole world. And in America there is. So let’s give citizenship to Stephen king – after all, a living classic. And among other writers to call it a classic can be absolutely confident. Let him dwell in Tolstoy’s estate Yasnaya Polyana, scroll to the peasants (30 goals) and candle factory and ask them to raise Russian literature, especially fiction. Because after such stories as «the Trojan dog», read something Russian in this genre is dangerous for mental health.

And for inspiration a citizen king, you can allocate a ticket to Tambov oblast. There, excessively in the Russian province, he will have so much experience, he behold such horrors that he would write another masterpiece about the langoliers, departing from a rural outhouse, or for a rural drunk who fell out of a tree to the axe, which now comes from the other world sober, or even cease to write of what he saw. What will look like the dystopia in the Central expanse, I can’t imagine. In some places life is so harsh that there is no «Running man» can not be compared.

And even if he doesn’t learn the prize, we are just going to be proud of their outstanding citizen. And then even forget that he is an American, and accidentally write in his biography that he was actually born in Serpukhov, and all these years, was on assignment in the United States.

Elon Musk

They say that if very often to speak aloud the word «innovation», it will lose all meaning. The more we talk about SKOLKOVO, the more tormented by the question: what they hell is busy!? Talented scientists have a lot, but effective managers do not. We need a talented innovator. All innovators innovator… Well, let’s say the word limit is exceeded. Brave as Yuri Gagarin, and mad as Lev Landau. Man, who Mars not ashamed to bomb. We, of course, about Elon musk. Why would he Sunny California when near Novosibirsk there are excellent conditions for work. And convenience store next to the house.

Musk is good in all respects: his designs are striking, the ideas are exciting, and most importantly, he does not forget to care for the world. Maybe after his coming we will have electric cars? And then tried revolutionary «E-mobility» in the mass market to launch, but, unfortunately, did not happen. And Tesla is like going. Then you will understand that the «Tesla» from Yakutsk to Krasnoyarsk not be reached, and create a car that runs exclusively on the Mat, because there’s no other way to get there.

Cost «AVTOVAZ» to invite a foreigner to his headquarters as the cars began to resemble cars (although this is inaccurate information). So the Mask it is necessary to call absolutely!

And maybe Elon will go mad from the Russian realities of doing scientific business and what it is called Elon, Elon, but in the two weeks that he was our citizen, he can bring much more benefits than a citizen Depardieu.

And yet…

Since sheritsa, how we love big. Give passport Daft Punk and Pharrell Williams, to raise the level of national modern music. Maybe a song about «lady», «eggplant» will cease to listen.

You need to naturalize players. The controversy about it being a long time, candidates are different. But judging by the fact that our logomachist there is a time when playing well is getting lazy, and want a good salary, «obrusit» any Negro will have. Suddenly his great-grandson would be the great Russian poet?

And it would be nice for a week to change policies from China. Why? Will dwell more comrade Spider, taschemta:

All the officials of the Moscow government will be required to make Russian citizenship and, accordingly, to take the citizenship of China. Accordingly, China has executions, and in Russia. Accordingly, there any official will not engage in corruption because it, respectively, in any second can shoot.

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