Old friends: how to understand that you have «outgrown» the circle
Nothing can be eternal. Friendship — the same garbage. Even the real people who our Board. We once wrote about the destructive power of friendship. The farther into the forest, the more we realize that old friends who have been with us for a long time, more is not interesting to us. We «outgrew» them, we have to move on. Don’t be shy, it is absolutely normal to outgrow your friends. They were left behind, they ceased to change, they have new interests, they bent, and you at the same time, go ahead. Common themes suddenly erased, you become much more difficult to communicate what happened?
There is nothing wrong to get rid of those people who are harmful to us. Also there is nothing wrong to translate in the category of friends those people with whom we have nothing more to share. Life is changeable. If we stick to the old, we immediately washed away by flood or freeze nafig.
1. You’re bored from those things that interest them
Your friends still prefer to thump Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and I’m terribly tired? They have the same interests and you evolyutsioniruet and go ahead? Of course, having friends with different interests — this is normal, this is correct, but if you don’t have any points of intersection with these people, what to talk about? Grind the bones into a mutual friend? Here is a vivid example of life. I have a friend with whom, I think, I’m starting to lose touch. I’m a married man, I now have a slightly different range of interests, and they remained at the same level as before. They still read cheap fiction, ten years ago, very often drink beer without a snack eat canned food and frantically playing online games. I have other interests, I can’t afford much to drink, because I work out a lot and plan to go back to martial arts. These guys absolutely do not like what I am interested in, and I already don’t like what we had before. This is the example when you go forward, and your old University friends, with whom you were guarding tree for a test, left behind.
They suggest you a movie, you go to him, and then suddenly realize that the film is a complete mess! But later you realize you have for some time raised the bar of good taste, but friends no!
2. You don’t like hang out with them
They begin to ridicule you. Too many people, all drinking, you need to go to one group, then another. With all the need to drink, and no more strength.
3. Your fun is very different from their fun
But you can always find people who are your new interests are in a rush. Again I cite the example yourself. I was interested in doing sports, that’s my new joy, my old friend — no. I’m curious to throw some whiskey in a nice pub, and my old friends hreneyut this: for the same money uncle Sasha downstairs to buy two liters of beer and get drunk on light! It’s not even in the interests, business values and lifestyle that has changed me personally.
4. You don’t like the feeling after talking with them
You come home and feel that something is wrong with the relationship. Some kind of bad feeling, perhaps because you feel some sense of the foreignness of your relationship. Perhaps they are the most negative people. Negative people prevent you to go further in life, they are just shackles on your legs.
5. They are unreliable
If your old friend can calmly to score on you when you have an appointment and not even call, which, of course, goes wrong. While you’re always free. Relationship lose mutuality, as cynical as it may sound. You’re always available, and they to you. You need a mutually beneficial relationship in which both people can rely on each other and get each other protection and comfort. The more you resist your growth, the harder you will actually grow.
6. You feel, you definitely be obliged to communicate with them
Usually when we meet with friends, we relax the soul. We do not feel that we are forced to communicate in the spirit of «Here right now, they come and start, an hour sit, apologize and go home!» Communicating with them, we would give them a moral debt. It’s horrible upbringing, which obliges to communicate with old friends» because they’re old friends and you’re with them a peck of salt eaten and fell in a road hole».
7. Well with them only under certain conditions
For example, when you a decent drink. Or when you discuss games or General topics. In other cases, you tolerate all those people that you frankly annoying. And why would you hurt yourself? Usually in good company is still good when he drinks and when sober, you have the same there is a psychological barrier that you overcome with the difficulty.
8. You’re on the wave
You feel that you are too different. This is a common thing when you are trying to evolve, and your social circle remains on the same positions. Very sad to part with those so dear to you, but you became a different person, who are old friends ceased to be friends. It’s a really fucking unpleasant fact, but there’s nothing you can do about it.
9. If they weren’t your friends, it is unlikely you would deal with them again
You have often asked yourself this question deep down inside: «If we were not friends, not buddies, we cease to communicate?» The answer is obvious: it keeps you together only what remained of the old friendship. Do you think that if your friends were once your friends, these, help you and stuff like that, it always will be. No, it’s not!
Life goes on, people change or never change. Someone appears at you, the less time someone remains on the old position, and someone comes forward. Should just be able to let these people go. Real friendship exists, of course, but its not enough.