Old age — no joy
I’m sure you noticed for a such a feature: you sometimes unbearably hard to communicate even with his beloved grandmother, but mention the other older people that do not experience such feelings.
Why is this happening? All we carry out a number of typical mistakes in dealing with people who are much older than us.
1. We treat them as «others»
Of course, the aging process is accompanied by certain physiological changes, deteriorating hearing, reduced reaction speed and so on. However, not every man is deaf, blind and suffers from dementia. They are not other people, not aliens from another universe, they are the same people who in recent times are a little harder to live than you.
This means that, firstly, no need to shout. So your grandmother got you, sometimes it is enough to speak a little slower than normal to merge into one mess and she could include a «feature» lip-reading (by the way, we all do it unconsciously). If grandma says that it is likely that it is again not in volume — she probably didn’t know what a «selfie».
Secondly, there is nothing more disgusting than using the hard of hearing elderly man, talking to other people in his presence as if he’s not here. Once again: old age does not provide an instantaneous loss of communication with the outside world. Put yourself in the shoes of your grandmother, imagine how it is when you for no reason, no reason, just throw overboard social life. Frustrating, isn’t it?
2. We do not adapt to their condition
As mentioned above, certain aging effects on some body functions. For example, with age, increase adjustment periods to changes in the external environment. Simply put, if suddenly will Zap the heat, you’re gonna feel shitty for three days, and your grandmother will get used a week, if not more.
To communicate effectively with older person, do not forget about the changes that are happening to her body. An experiment: put on gloves, put in ears plugs, tie sheer chiffon handkerchief to face and try to do its ordinary business. So feel about your grandmother. Every damn day. So probably not worth to be angry with her when she is unable to use a mobile phone.
3. We are not patient enough
This item is a logical continuation of the previous one. Never forget what you felt trying to whip up a sandwich with gloves, earplugs and blindfold. If at that moment someone from the family would have acted on your nerves, manifesting dissatisfaction with the speed of cooking buterbrod, most likely, you would have very hard times.
Be patient with the elderly. Them without you difficult.
4. We forget about what we can learn
How many intelligent books have you not read, nevertheless, you don’t own (can’t have) what is your grandfather. It is, of course, about life experiences. Just think, he hangs out on this planet 3 times longer than yours. He experienced all that you feel and that you just will experience. And if you ask nicely, maybe he will share with you a couple of hacks on how to survive a bad breakup, or overcoming an existential crisis.
Some things he understands steeper graduate psychoanalysts as experienced it on their own skin and maybe more than once.
5. We are in the power of stereotypes
And we should not exaggerate the difference in age. Yes, you — people of different generations, and the world in which you live, although it is formally the same, however, since his youth, your grandfather, had changed beyond recognition.
You’re different. But the point here is not only and not so much in age. There’s nothing dumber than succumbing to stereotypes, to assume that all people over 70, like Stalin and go order. I guess you don’t like the grandmother on the bus make a speech about what a bad young people today. No need to reciprocate. Remember that grooming is one size fits all, destroys any possibility of normal human communication with someone you have just «brushed».