Not the people: how to understand that it’s not your company
As we wrote in many articles, guys often like to hang out with people out of habit, fear or for profit, instead of to communicate with people from your personal liking, for the opportunity to learn something and just spend time with benefits.
For example, childhood friends, relatives, friends from school or University. A very unpleasant thing that many people do not need us, but they spent so much time with us that we without them can not imagine. They cause us stress by its very appearance, obsessive behaviour, negative traits, a love of the outrageous, tips, complete intolerance to our interests and indifference to our fate. I had an old University friend. The man knew how to position himself as «brother, I’ll tear anyone, call, write, come-will help, brother-brother». It seemed simple and great man in their proximity to people and the ability to enjoy the simple things. But I was always infuriated that this wonderful man, who was very offended when I called him «dude» constantly complained. Evil women, for customers-the bastards, the ex-wife, life in General and that he didn’t like «the cruel world» and he would like to be reborn in another, where everything would be as he wanted. In the process of communication to me was to realize that it is not a simple guy, and simple egomaniac, which also makes all for show. I also realized that any attempt on my part to talk about my life or ask for advice backfired or the conversation goes in a different direction, that is, to «bro». I understand it was his hypocrisy and realize that the ability to enjoy the simple things — wine for 80 rubles and obligatory karaoke on Saturdays is not a skill, but rather the opposite. I may be a snob, but distancing from him helped me realize what I need. So how do you understand that your current company is not your company?
1. They are constantly trying to dictate their will
«This woman is wrong for you!», «My advice to you, put a rocking chair!». Procedures sometimes manipulations are carried out with such surgical precision that you don’t immediately notice that dancing to someone else’s tune! They can easily crush your potential with their «so-and-So work will definitely be in demand in the near future, while what you want to do, can bring you a lot of money, and leave you with a pitiful penny!» «Do you really want to do this? Boy, you tridtsatnik soon, your classmates are already married with children, become an adult already!»
A few negative reviews can kill a man’s dream! Don’t let people interrupt your flight, even if it sounds pathetic. Or don’t listen to them, or dramatically interrupt their comments, or leave. Seriously, it is better to have fewer friends, but it will be friends, and not just those who hang out with us. Friends allow themselves to criticism, true, but they’re not making fun of you, don’t mock what you hold dear, and in any question you say: «Do what you want!»
2. They do not support you
Support can be verbal, or just implied. The latter differs in that normal dudes let you live the way you want, not the way they want to see you. Friends and relatives will not laugh at you, they can criticize you, but will always treat you condescendingly, even if you do nonsense.
For example, a good friend of mine decided to go into politics. He left work, joined the party, went to all sorts of meetings-meetings, stood on the pickets, collected the batteries and fought for the environment. First, I’m a little stunned by such a change, tried to explain to him that he is wrong, then I realized that the dude is in a rush. From my point of view, all this is nonsense, which is not exactly changing the world and our country, but the guy likes. Besides, if the guy stop, he’ll get invaluable experience. It seems that he is cold to this subject. It’s almost as how to feed the homeless — useful first and foremost for you and for your perception of the world.
3. They produce a bunch of negativity
Whining, complaining, depressing, makes a scene, trying to pour on you the stream of snot and anger. It’s impossible to talk normally, they constantly climb with their advice, took out others and do lots of other questionable actions that do not do them honor. Why would you, seriously?
4. They help you of moral decay
Some guys is a solid feeling that they are ugly, stupid, worthless, girls don’t like them and so-forth. Usually loved ones are trying to convince people that he is okay, he needs to score, so stop think about yourself, etc. the Bad company of people supports your belief that you are ugly, unloved girls, stupid and lazy to make your background look unbeatable or to complain about you to your loved ones. Here’s a few things to talk about.
They not only support you, but in every way strengthen your confidence in your shortcomings, so that some weak personality wants almost to the monastery to leave. This does not mean that everyone should praise you, sing to you odes, but it suggests at least that in difficult times your support, Pat on the shoulder, and looks at you like an idiot, with the words: «Finish the snot, as if you didn’t know, that might not be otherwise?» Like and not offended, but your confidence is a little undermined. With such «friends» and family man turns into a pathetic shadow.
The other side of negative relationships — encouraging a variety of lay action. For example, booze in no fit state, betrayal of the woman he loves in retaliation, drugs, lies, hypocrisy, and other things. All of this actively covered the fact that «you are not a man?» «a woman should know her place», «everybody does it» and blah-blah-blah.