Is it possible to stay friends with your ex?
Actually I have been wanted to write an article about it, but, frankly, forgot something.
Any relationship can end in two things: going to the altar and parting. In the first case everything is clear (what is there to understand?), and in the second? Quite often couples try to stay friends, but in 95 percent of cases it is an unfulfilled promise and a relationship that is a stretch to consider friendly and not friendly.
Why is this so difficult and what happens to people after a breakup? To get started, try to make a list of the main reasons why people try to remain friends.
1. They have many common themes. Shared memories, interests, people want to relive it again and again. But personal insults quickly negate the desire to communicate. Yes, and some topics will not be full.
2. So it is necessary. You’re decent people, and decent people remain friends.
3. The desire to keep a person close and jealous.
4. It is convenient, no need to change old friends.
And a number of similar reason
But we can safely say you just what ex (we don’t mean the wife with whom you have common children) to communicate in General is not and does not work.
You’ve seen each other naked
Do you think that it is absolutely meaningless reason few people have seen you naked! And many of these people had sex with you?
It is extremely difficult to restore normal relations with the person that you saw naked. This was a different level of relationship, a friendship and a friendly relationship — is another matter.
Did you see her Breasts up close, you know, looks like her ass and if it has cellulite. You know how she smells and what is most important is how she behaves sexually. And you can easily discard all of this? The more sensitive you are, the less chance you have to «stay friends».
You can’t trust each other
Friendship requires trust. At least a little. Someone someone cheated or lied. Hell yeah, you can’t even tell the ex that you are now going on. After all, you may have a new girlfriend, a mention of which will be to do the former hurts the ego («she Must be better! Look at the pictures how happy he is smiling. Someone cooler than me!»). And it’s disgusting, isn’t it?
One side will always have resentment or reproaches
No, it is not the end of a relationship without bitterness and recriminations. For the same reason you broke up? Ah, tired? So the reason for the rebuke is the most simple — you were insufferably boring, not paying attention. Even if it took a decent time (you still then talk?!), the girl had forgotten about the offense, but just remember that you’re boring. And you can not be trusted.
Even if you both found a new love in your life, it’s a shame though that he found someone better than you, and you belong. We may not realize this, but it will put pressure on us on a subconscious level. You can not calmly watch as the former found his new love. Even if much time has passed. It’s frustrating. Also the course is the following nonsense: you sincerely want your ex-girlfriend love. You want your relationship was something special to years later she said «Only with Vovchik I had true love, so I ain’t gonna love». But this happens rarely. More often then love and stronger. And more than once. But if it takes a personal insult, how could you not pretend to be tolerant of pepper and how you didn’t deny it, you truly will not want her personal happiness. Career, buns, lose weight — please, personal — alas, no.
Between you can still be a passion
Unless, of course, its absence did not cause rupture. Between the two of you once there was some chemistry, right? You each other exciting, so why would this not be repeated in another break-up sex? Oh Yes, break-up sex… I do Not recommend you do that, you don’t want to feel the bitterness of parting again?
A constant reminder
Prevent the former to go ahead. They are slowing you down and return to the mistakes of the past. The easiest way to stay friends is to forgive each other, and the best way to forgive is to forget. Then in a few years you happened to meet somewhere, without embarrassment, I can say each other Hello. The constant presence of the former you have in contacts prevents you to go further, meet new people and get something new.
Ideally, you, adults, all is forgiven and forgotten, but the cause of the breakup left you remember about her? Be the adult — do not build castles in the air, because with the pleasant memories have jealousy, bitterness, guilt. And then become friends?
Ask yourself the simple question: «Why?»
Cherish relationships, of course, the rate of great soul, but why you once the relationship with the extra people? And are you sure you really have «friendship»?