How you act when drunk
We got drunk a little bit of everything someday with someone else. Some love this state and seek it with diligence which never dreamed of sperm. And some reach. and then, unwittingly. In any case, how people differ from each other in a sober state, so they are diverse and in a drunken. So we decided to make a classification of the behavior of drunken dudes who you can meet in a bar, at a party or other revelry. Maybe among this list you’ll know yourself.
1. Fun rod
Textbook subspecies fighter with full bottles, which has been repeatedly embarrassed in various shows, movies, and, according to popular belief, it looks like parents of the newlyweds at every wedding. A jaded knight in a drunken stupor, a line of his moves are smooth and winding, like Arabic writing, and look languid and ridiculous as the worst students of the University which is trying to show passion. Even in a standing position he’s twitching like a flag in the wind.
Video comrades adorn YouTube and remind us of the blessed times when the world was ruled ledovyy the owner Russ, conductor, singer, dancer, obsessed with the fierce akademikom, Boris. Previously, «than to get tired and leave,» the whole world laughed at how ledbelly co-owner 1\6 sushi staggering in a drunken stupor and behaved inappropriately. And we cried, asking the sky what did we ever do. Good times, when most of our readers were watching cartoons, waiting for the New Year and not thinking about work and higher education.
A lot deputiesa to this state, Wake up in the most unexpected place (floor, toilet), with a heavy head and a firm intention not to drink in the near future… that is, until next Saturday.
2. What are you talking about!?
Maybe vodka is a deeply erudite classics Professor, scholar of Russian literature, Pushkin knows and freely guided in the work of Dmitry Sergeevich Likhachev. But in life, «after the vodka,» his vocal apparatus mutates into something, and the character speaks a little less clear why Vitali Klitschko. In one sentence he can confirm and deny the same thing, for example, your name. And the most insulting that people with such sincerity and ardency tries to explain the other basic things, to share wisdom or Outlook on life, and laughing at him. It seems what he says is incredibly succinct and clear words, and it is removed on phone.
3. Scrabble with hops
The anthology of Russian drunkenness, in the movie «peculiarities of national hunting», the great Russian philosopher, poet, drunk, discovered his ability to speak the Finnish language, which was lost with the first rays of a hangover. This, of course, extreme, but some start to fall asleep others such encyclopedic facts, which are not known to the average teacher in the school from the growth of grandpa Lenin to the name of the eunuch of the harem of Sultan Bayezid II and his eloquent healing recipes of the Russian economy simply must be taken on Board. The most annoying that sober erudition and knowledge where-that evaporate, and recipes for the treatment of the economy no one remembers, because they themselves obscenely drunk.
4. Time to call the former
Most drunken gatherings sooner or later starts this dialogue:
– Nice beer, we must next only his bra…
– Why are all the women I betrayed? First walked on the side, the second me and Vic just a creature, what the hell is she acting like this!?
– Listen, don’t start again. Well, the prostitute, that it take!? Just…
– Tra..smiling with that moron boxer! He’s a redneck. All because he earns more? Hooker I loved her…
– Put the phone down…
– I will simply tell it like it is. And I’m not going to freak out, I’m normal!
Drunk wounded heart begins to speak about women and only about them, sorting out the typical ladies ‘ treachery, and suppressing the company one hundred and first transfer stories about their nasty ex. Sometimes about the lady who «produces» and trying to delay your «inevitable Alliance.» And in the morning, re-reading the correspondence, feels shame, because such things are former and potential girls to not write.
5. Forever alone
Somehow I failed to meet up with friends, drink with someone, and the soul, where the boring was still lousy. Here you go to a bar in hopes of having someone to talk to, but behind the bar managed to talk only to the bartender, others came from companies and are not eager to communicate. Here you sit, sipping on alcohol, looking into the void and holding back tears. Only beer will not disappoint you.
Friends know your ears – the perfect nest that you can sit and endlessly talk about their problems. They especially don’t need your mouth (except for Council) – only the ears. And you easily is not to listen to all their heresy over a beer. Moreover, under the «green serpent» you’re calm like a boa constrictor. So 3 hours of great stories about life under the good stuff is guaranteed.
However, they don’t appreciate elasmotherians.
7. Rockefeller drunk
Generosity is in our blood, and to whom the money sorry for the shameless kike. However, there is common sense, which reminds one that to pay for 3 weeks, and still need to pay the rent, and in the pocket – 8000 last, so especially to secretsa not necessary. Although after the second «highway» seems full of money, and the evening is just beginning. And after shots conscience does not allow not to treat your new friends a great drink. Innkeeper, I’m good today! All rum!
8. Star dancing
The first glass is for courage, the second for looseness, and the third – why not. And this humble guy became a star of the dance floor, throwing us curveballs like this, after which the ballet troupe of the Bolshoi Theater resigned. And such a sensitive and sincere performance of the song «Pray for parents» this karaoke bar not seen since last Saturday. But everyone, even strangers who love you and respect you.
9. Does not work
The same healthy as a bull, the guy who drinks a lot. And while all other languages are braided, while friends occupy toilets, dumb hero suffers, her chin resting on the palm. He needs much more time to get drunk. But even in a drunken state it is adequate and reasonable, like Albus Dumbledore. So this guy does not like to drink, because… what’s the point? Besides, your drunk face is better than any social advertising against alcohol.
Around the ambush, surrounded by scoundrels. They are wrong, but they should not beat. Why did you hit that nice guy? No, he’s not gay, he’s just a snappy dresser. And no need to rush on these guys! First, more of them, and secondly, they weren’t trying to provoke you, so curb your Irish spirit. And please don’t hurt me, I didn’t send you!
After drinking any lady gets cute, and any desire unrestrained. Here you go thanks to whiskey believe in its irresistibility and went to boast of feats of arms before ladies.
12. Every day – new
Maybe you’re the kind of people who, after drinking, every time you behave in new ways. Today after grandpa’s moonshine, you’re naive Robotnik, and tomorrow after the vodka with red bull you are a desperate fighter. You’re damn lucky! Alcohol for you – the attraction: you never know what the outcome of your adventure.
13. Child of common sense
Someone will say that you’re boring, and someone vulgar shout «Scam!» In fact in the morning they will envy your judgment, trying to remember the name of this fat woman that lies beside him, and trying to think of an excuse for his tardiness. And you arrogantly come to work. Externally – the silhouette man-butterfly, perfect and irresistible, no one will notice what you’re drinking, while they, standing before his superiors, will try to hide the fumes that even the air conditioning can’t cope. You just know when to stop, and that the after party will lead to no good. Although maybe this truth is revealed to you after the sad experience at the age of 19, when the «blazer» with vodka brought you mysterious experience vomiting bile.
14. Brother all living things
You’re his brother. And his brother. And with this wonderful lilliputan should meet. And anyway, such a good atmosphere! And this dude brought your friend, such a nice guy! Just from the soul will be the godfather and witness at the wedding!
You become so cute, you are literally bursting to do good and to Express its deep sympathy for anyone, because he’s probably a nice guy.
Vomit is an absolute attribute of any drinking. Not to drink – how to not drink?! No, better to suffer in the arms of the toilet, it’s worth it. Such subtype, don’t care what he always pukes, but it is something to remember. He «translates» drink it «let loose!» And mom then clean up…
Some of them prefer to sleep in a wonderful bath. Who knows, maybe he will want to use the toilet, and the strength to go there at all.
16. Fallen angel
This unit ignominiously perished in the struggle with alcohol. Died in the truest sense of the word. Where he drank there and died. Paul may he rest in peace, and a chair – a throne. The main thing is to make sure not to lay on his back, me too, former lead singer of AC\DC Bonn Scott.
17. The narrator fucking stories
«When I served in the army, my «grandparents» wanted to beat. Well, I was screaming belt and get all beat up. Do not believe!» Or: «my grandfather saw a UFO. Night woke up hungover, went to the barn for the stash, suddenly saw little green men!» etc.
What would have been the story, how unlikely it may seem, it will present as if you’re anything truer in my life heard. The attempt to challenge the heard can turn the narrator to the above mentioned «fighter».
18. Drunken bravado
Most funny and annoying character. He will demand that he poured a full glass, and will teach you to drink, even if you crawl under the chair after the second glass. And most importantly, you will have to teach, extolling himself above. Like, learn, son, while I’m alive, look, son, I drink. Women come wrong, do not work there. Let’s drink to our health!
But the next morning it with a sore head will go on the bus, and you go by taxi to distribute orders.
Alcohol stimulates the search for the correct meaning and truth in the wine. How strange, drunk – and once things become clear, and don’t care what the work was fired, and immediately the head starts to work, and cheerful thoughts in my head. Urgently need to record them! Because as they say «In vino veritas». Some beginning writers and work. And some turn into Broom Erofeevich and Karlicek Bukowski, writing with the fingers of his masterpieces.
And then start talking about who is right and who is wrong, and how boring we live. And you seem to yourself so wise and beautiful that I wonder why everyone else understand such simple things.
20. The lover, like in the movies
This guy will drink the beer that is drank in his favorite movie, eat the same things and his favorite blogger, because he is firmly convinced that this is vodka «Stolichnaya» will be even tastier. Anyway, we have to try. I’m curious if other comrades know what is happening. If not, you can pass for an idiot, because drinking «ruff» many considered vulgar, and the port «777», some even on hand to shed fear.
21. With polobocul
How can «fly» from one bottle of «Siberian crown lime»? You’re not the Chukchi, you should have this enzyme breaks down. As you drink? While all the normal people are «warmed up», you’re at the wheel of his «helicopter».