How to survive the witness at the wedding

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Question:

Hello, dear editors!

I write to you in a little confusion: a friend asked me to be a witness at the wedding, and I at the wedding that never was. Share your experience, maybe someone was already in that position? How to dress, do not forget that to prepare and what to prepare? How not to lose face in front of a friend?)

Sincerely, Arthur Mironenko.

Answer:

Hi, Arthur! Apparently, I was lucky — never had to be a witness at the wedding. But I couldn’t leave your question and asking former friends. They each told me their story. I tried to put it all together and prepared the answer for you. I must say that at a friend’s wedding you need to be ready for anything.

The first paragraph in your question — «how to dress?». You’ll have to fork out for a costume if you don’t have one, or borrow one from a friend, rent. White shirt, pants, jacket and tie. In the summer you could do without the jacket. In General, you have to be in the parade.

Perhaps the organizers of the wedding will decide for you, you have a dark suit or gray. You probably know about the quirks of modern weddings, when everyone, for example, must be dressed in the same color scheme, etc.

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What you can’t forget? Of course, about the bachelor party! You have to organize this amazing party! Probably, I think that I’ll recommend to get a bigger choice of strippers and prostitutes? Will have to disappoint you. I imagine that’s how I would’ve made brain my friend if you found out that the bachelor party was strippers. It’s not even that. I just don’t understand this tradition: the feeling that the friends of the bridegroom this night try to do everything possible that the wedding did not take place.

Well, if the groom himself hints at the strip, you have to try to find the sexiest girls who know how to shake their Asses. Yes, it will cost dearly, but the vomiting and spasms you will have at the sight of the ugly dancers.

In addition to naked girls you have to be an incredible amount of booze. By the way, plan the bachelor party at least two days before the wedding, so that all members of this party had come to life for the celebration. The list of invited guests make better along with fiance: he’s gonna want to see this celebration of only the closest.

Pay special attention to the place where you will celebrate a hangover. Of course, you are the heroes of the film and not be able to go to Vegas. I don’t know what your tastes and preferences, but as an option can offer to rent a house in the mountains. There you exactly no one hurt and you will be able to party. Get some program that you don’t just sit and drink day and night long.

When will key and most difficult day for you — your wedding day — you have to be prepared. To start sleep well — you have the morning to be with her groom. You should be able to defuse the situation, everything should be at hand: in such an important day all is lost and falls out of the hands nerves. Better slow down on the champagne or other alcoholic beverages — you have a heavy enough day.

I hope that this wedding will be full of hackneyed cliches. Because if so, you’ll have to go through a bunch of ridiculous moments, starting with the traditional «bride price.» A witness from bride’s side you’ll have to participate in any stupid competitions. It is you who will entertain the audience on that day. Well, if you go to a wedding single. If a girlfriend/wife, then get ready to reproachful glances. You’ll have to soothe her with the excuses that, well, you’re not to blame, it’s a stupid tradition and a freaking master of ceremonies with his writing. And even if tonight she would keep face, after you roof caved in. Be ready.

In General, witnesses, decoration of wedding, of course, after the bride and groom. After all, as a rule, a witness faster than anyone gets drunk and starts doing stupid crap in front of the assembled guests. I don’t know exactly what we should be ready, but maybe on this day you will not be easy. I even wonder how you will pass. So I wish you good luck! Don’t be afraid to be creative and possibly write to us then, how did you cope with his responsible mission.

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