How to survive the death of a loved one?

manygoodtips.com_5.05.2014_M8hLvyx8tW6C7Question:

Recently a friend’s mother died. She’s very upset. How can she be cured?

And just tell the readers. Sooner or later will affect everyone.

Answer:

It is difficult to comprehend, it is hard to get used to. But the doctor who time as if in no hurry to heal the wounds.

The death of a loved one turns your life upside down. It is always a surprise. Even when you lose a terminally ill person, you can’t prepare for it. You know soon he will die, your near and dear people, but when it happens — it’s like snow on the head.

The person who was always there for you, even at a distance, you’d never call, will not complain of a headache due to the weather, scolding you for something that in the cold without a hat, did not congratulate his birthday, will never hug you… the Word «never» becomes a sentence that can’t be changed.

Even over time it still will not keep in his head. You knew that someday your parents will leave this world, you still are unable to deal with it.

Pain, suffering, sadness, longing, despair, misunderstanding, hatred, loneliness — all mixed up and splashed on your girlfriend. It is not just hard, she died half. And of course, you want to help her, to ease her suffering, to take some pain on myself, but… it’s her loss, her pain, her mother. Her through it.

Each person responds differently to grief. Someone is crying day and night, some silently keeps to himself.

Tears is a way out, this is partly a relief, but when it tantrums, crying without a break — there is no sedative is necessary. Something specific to advise I have no right, is the work of professionals. Neglected sedatives in such a difficult life-span is not necessary, but abuse is also not necessary. Keep an eye on it.

Hugs. This is what we get from mother since birth. Mom sorry for us, hug, kiss in the back of the head and cheeks. Now your girl is deprived of his mother’s arms, you will not replace them, but they are important and they are partially ease the suffering. A simple hug can sometimes play the role of sedative. Seeing that she was sad and her eyes sparkled — just give her a hug, without words, stroke my hair, take her hands in his. So you let her know that although she lost her mother, but she has you. You’re near, you love her.

Offer her to go to the cemetery (unless she wants) to stand at the grave of the mother. She might want to stay there alone, ask her about it, and if so, back off. She really miss talking with your mom, let her talk near the grave, say not a chance in life. Who knows, perhaps they can hear us, (it’s very hard to believe!). But, don’t leave it at the grave alone for a long time, you will see what is shaking in sobs — come back and give her a hug.

Avoid communicating the death, deadly diseases, accidents, disasters, and everything that leads to death. Before you offer her a joint viewing of the film, make sure there are no jokes about the cemetery, coffins, corpses (the word is generally better not to use).

Some believe that mourning should last for a certain period, and at this time you cannot watch TV and be entertained somehow. But if it helps to distract for a while from sorrow, what’s wrong? If our deceased loved ones miraculously see us from another world, they just don’t want to see our suffering. To escape from suffering does not mean to forget the person.

Let her know that mom gave birth to her and has dedicated her life not want her to suffer and be disappointed in life. Troubles will always happen, but the good news is that they are not permanent. Grief and joy are always intertwined. The death of a loved one overshadows us, but at the same time makes us think that we are waiting this way, and so you need to try to live life to the fullest. To fulfill your dreams and trying new Hobbies. Help her in this.

Go on the nature. Fresh air, birds singing, the sound of the river, the contemplation of beautiful views and starry heaven — soothe, distract you from negative thoughts and fills us with energy and zest for life.

Remember that even if she smiles and laughs, this does not mean that she did and now she’s all fine. Long she can survive the pain of loss within himself, to cry in secret, when no one sees.

Grief about the loss of a loved one is not healed or a month or a year. After a while will become familiar, but no easier. So please be patient and try to be for her joy of life.

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