How to strengthen your personal growth
Motivational articles is a good place in our magazine, but without practice we risk nothing more than a motivated fool. Today we will tell you what are the social and psychological techniques are quite simple to use, but able to slightly improve their lives in society, to overcome shyness and to pump up muscles of communication.
1. Out confidence
If you need support, but there is nobody around that is able to provide this support (imaginary friends don’t count), then the obvious solution – self-help. Convince themselves by all possible means, even if you yourself do not believe you to be a winner in life. Start with elementary postures of his body, posture, exudes confidence, on the non-verbal level of communication. Social psychologist from Harvard Business School Amy Cuddy at TED Talks talked about the fact that it is sufficient to take the desired position and the testosterone level will increase and the stress hormone, cortisol, on the contrary, will decrease. Find a couple of minutes and watch this interesting video.
2. The Effect Of Benjamin Franklin
There is a little trick which is called «the Effect of Benjamin Franklin.» The meaning is that if you ask someone to do you a favor, then, contrary to logic, that someone will cause undue sympathy. Literally: «One who once did you a favor, will likely do it again, just faster than the person you once did a favor.» This statement was proved in various experiments. Such situation our brain interpreterpath: man you did a service, certainly you like, so if you’re doing him a favor, he’s cute, even if you wouldn’t have seen ever.
Things that are beyond your grasp, always more desirable. All this talk about forbidden fruit has the lion’s share of truth. Again, this is proven by many studies: women in a marriage or a long-term relationship, or just in a relationship seem more attractive to male than their available girlfriend. Beware to go on about this instinct, when’s the next time you «light up» any idea or desire, to clearly define, is not any reason that you just can’t get? Not disappear crush after the desired will be in your hands? Because this energy can be put in another really important way.
4. The Principle Of Contrast
Put ordinary, unremarkable object next to something ugly and useless. And so, mediocrity will sparkle with new, bright colors. Simply put, if one thing differs from another, you’re subconsciously going to exaggerate the difference. For example, you buy the car. You are led to an incredibly steep and expensive car, showing it off, not sparing of epithets and comparisons. The consultant is aware that such a car you can’t afford it, and your face flushed and incomprehensible babble proves it. Well… for such rogue like you, have this cheap car, please pay attention… blah blah blah. It’s not good, not so you live! And here comes to the ultimate goal that you first want to «sell». Price – what you need, mark is the one that you wanted. You rejoice that you have found a car at a decent price, and then at the time of the transaction starts on the next «pitch» additional inventory and equipment. You pay for the car so much! Are you strangle the toad buy new floor mats, the radio, CDs? It is peanuts compared to the price of the machine itself! Then, of course, you get a simple and concise question: «Why?!» but it will be too late.
A similar principle applies to absolutely all spheres of life. For example, you’re at a party communicate with an incredible beauty, knowing that here you have no chance, the girl is quite pretty and shows interest in your person, but in comparison with this bomb it turns into a gray mouse. Everything is relative, it is. But compare with their own expectations, focusing on their own value system and not succumb to cheap tricks and manipulation of their consciousness. Or make friends with freaks. Then you ensure success with women.
5. Reciprocating motion
This paragraph is not about sex. Get a grip. This is another point of the psychology of interpersonal relations. Whatever desires, but you’ll feel obligated to a man who did anything for you, provide some feedback. For example, some homeless people frantically clean your windshield in the winter time while you’re waiting in traffic, even despite the protests, but it is unlikely you refuse to give him fifty dollars for the work already performed, or how many little things lying around in the glove box? Or you begin to napisyvat the lady that you decided to break contact once and for all. Well, how not to answer? Moreover, this is a great reason to say: «I first wrote. Not me. I want nothing from you». Well, that’s kindergarten.
6. Self-fulfilling prophecy
It’s ominous name, in fact, anything bad you are not threatened. Just pay attention. The premise is simple: you give someone a positive determination, and patiently wait and watch as this man tries to justify their new feature. This is done unconsciously, at the level of our subconscious. Tell your girlfriend that she’s awesome at cooking, and you’re proud that you have it so understanding and not jealous and does not tolerate the brain, like other silly women… Trust me, she does not want to disappoint you in such about her performance.
7. Foot in the door
This is the name of another socio-psychological method of interaction with the environment, also proved experimentally. The bottom line is that if someone has agreed to comply with a small request, the likelihood that this person will comply to a larger request increases many times. In areas such as advertising, propaganda, politics very often are operating in a similar principle to achieve compliance on the part of the audience. Be careful and do not give in to provocations. Be aware and use this knowledge to your benefit.
8. The principle of consistency
The principle of coherence helps to explain the above technique: «Foot in the door», «self-Fulfilling prophecy», «the Effect of Franklin». Basically this means that an intelligent man is inherent in the sequence. And if you’ve convinced yourself that in front of you is a good man, further to the last stick to this opinion. In General, if you have a reputation as nerds, and you suddenly «give birth to» incredibly funny joke, be prepared for the fact that it is still no one will laugh. Because everyone knows: nothing funny to say you can not. This is not a reason to despair, it’s a great way to learn their weaknesses and correct the wrong first impression.
9. Don’t be afraid to say stupid things
Recent studies Massachusetts Institute of technology (MIT) found that the interlocutor effect is not what you say, and what emotions you cause in their conversation. If the people around you feel free and easy, then whatever stupidity you say, you will be forgiven.
10. Remember people and their names
Dale Carnegie, one of the most famous pioneers of the industry self-development, in his book «How to win friends and influence people» constantly refers to great diplomats, statesmen, and influential politicians, proud of his iron memory for names of people that have ever pushed lives. For how can you trust a man if he did not even bother to learn your name? That’s right, nothing. Everyone wants to feel important, and this is another basic but very effective way to help you to experience that feeling.
Professor of psychiatry Larry young introduced the world to his scientific creation called «the Chemistry between us: love, sex and the science of attraction» where he not only explained why the female breast is so attractive to us, but was told that tedious waiting is an integral part of a complete satisfaction. You probably lost concentration after the phrase «female Breasts,» okay, back to this. The fact that you constantly stare at women’s Boobs doesn’t make you a Horny baboon, it is a matter of nature, not education, because the life of a mammal, only just born, is directly dependent from the milk of the female, able to feed, to give not only health and food, but also a sense of security and love.
We will continue to talk about the feeling. If you’re long and very passionately wanted to do something like, for example, now touch the chest, then when you get what you want, your happiness will be much better than if such joy was a moment out of everyday life and taken for granted the continuation of each of your night. The long wait can cause us to overestimate the importance of what is happening. But again we can build on that in their favor.
12. Eye contact
Of course, you know that the interlocutor it is necessary to look into the eyes while speaking with him. But most likely, you don’t know that eye contact helps release oxytocin – the hormone responsible for attachment and trust, which is also able to reduce the level of cortisol in the haggard stress the body. Therefore eye contact is not only common courtesy but also a significant benefit to your emotional state.