How to realize themselves in society, which is ahead of you in development?



Good day, dear editors!

I read you for about a year and almost every time you look on the website, get out of here with useful information, lots of notebooks, and a good, positive mood. Keep it up, guys! You are really doing is a powerful thing! On behalf of all members I Express my heartfelt respect.

Now, actually, on the sore. tell me how to be. I now there is 23 year and I am very confused, do not know who I am, what I want to do, don’t own anything (except, perhaps, a pile of incomprehensible fears and phobias) and, in principle, not able to do anything. Let’s start first, to make it clearer how it happened.

Childhood was not distinguished leadership qualities and diligence in anything, except that drew well. In school I studied fine, but about 10 years old my parents bought a computer, and then everything became very bad. So I then, in principle, not thought, but now I see its fatal wrong turn. As he lived with his elder brother, for sharing this pitch was always scandals and quarrels, of which the eldest always came out the winner, and play I don’t got it. And, damn it, because we know that what we are given, just the most desirable. In the end I became addicted to computer free (until his brother took), scored on school, on friends, at parties and so on.

And it’s starting with 3rd grade! No, friends, I talked, ran, walked, and played, but my mind was on one, so much of something in other areas of life to achieve I did not want. And so for 9 classes – essentially nothing has changed. Except that study was based on an even larger bolt, and in relations with people full of seams started to attack, because there’s too much from life and didn’t need, the main thing that was next to the computer. Most interesting is that on the line I never got addicted, idolizing a single shooter-shooter-RPG, which is especially also was not going to help my development. Well and, consequently, in sport – zero (well, at least started going to the gym), school, eat with the girls – ooh, what a girl!.. With friends at first, but gradually I began to move away, because of common themes became less and less.After the 9th went to College on a specialty connected with programming, without knowing a damn thing, even in mathematics. Then I started to read the literature on development, and here it is – the ass. Reading a book on how to become a mega-guru-alpha kvadrokom, I began to try on these behaviors. And hell, they did not grow together with my real essence, and therefore had to suffer, the build of a super smart and powerful type, and in fact a simple example can not be solved, and in the fight to stand up for themselves, and even the appearance is unable to restore order. Techie was just, in General, 4 years wasted, knowledge – zero.

In the 4th year of my healthy lifestyle started in grade 9, ended ingloriously. Started drinking (and not only), yard, those the like. And you know what the interesting thing is that if I started this in the first year or at school – rest in a similar way, not necessarily ruining your health, then life would have been much more interesting, I guess.

Then there was the army. It was there that I realized that only the ranks of somebody who virtually is not. The army did not work and did not go through, so that knowledge and practices were not any. So communicating with people was very difficult, though, was promoted to Sergeant, and then through basic training and afterwards, the staff work in part, which also did by did not understand, and often lose the integrity of their personality for a careless attitude.After the army more than six months not doing anything, then got to work… And then twirled. Basically went through 3 months on second, moved to Moscow time, and began to shoot a Threesome with the guys apartment, and then retired from a second job, found a girl, another. And here again all. Stood up.

What I am telling you all this. And that’s how I just started to get money, I really began to understand what I want. Before that, apparently, except for his village, nothing more and never thought to see.

And at the moment my ability and skills just suck compared to my age. I have no responsibilities, clear goals and plans of important Hobbies and interests, and even the road of specialization! At my age, people already run companies, I’m currently floundering on the spot in shock of what he saw and missed opportunities.

I have listed the darkest moments of his past in fact, the reality is much better, well, at least I’m not completely stupid, just realized what I was doing almost everything wrong.

Now I want a separate housing to remove (where so much money?), I want the right and the car (again!), I want to study at University (absolutely no knowledge, even in basic algebra), I want to be cheerful and demotiviruet, but years of inactivity have an effect. I’m too lazy even any one thing to do, I can become bored quickly, I don’t really take care of myself (although tankam like love). In General, more specifics: tell me how am I supposed to be in these questions:1)Specialization (I want to learn programming, but don’t understand even the simplest of algebra do not remember, now began to do their own, but with my laziness it is not virtually any way).

2) will Power, responsibility (how to stop being weak-willed Nebro, which even a bowl to wash I do not want? How to become more responsible and not procrastinating?).

And most importantly, how to realize themselves in society, which overtook me in development for 5 years, and it’s dumb that I never considered myself stupid. This is the coolest cheat himself that I know of. The most insulting that the people I used to believe that the recent, the result has made progress in many areas, and I’m still just treading water and know that in the end a fool I was.

The answer

manygoodtips.com_31.03.2016_kUjl89Kej1XlnYour question was so great that we had to cut. But your story still has all the rules of epic – told us his whole life, Bravo. Not going to take it apart in stages and delve into the reasons. Many had years of downtime, although they always speak in the future the most horrible manner. Sucks when behind shoulders there is nothing constructive, but you yourself to blame and that is good, understand this.

Think about what you want to finish. Nothing that out of the dust rose, and not becoming a person, the ashes of life and finished? Or did you want to die strong, absolutely self-sufficient guy who held his life in their hands, and therefore worthy to be called a man? Many people think that there is no difference – all will fall to the ground. But the difference is, exactly the same as a free man and the prisoner. You are now a prisoner, boy. Their captors are their own fears, addictions and banal misunderstanding of the importance of what is happening. If you want to get out of this solitary confinement, full of feces, you need to radically change your lifestyle. And you should start from the bottom – a simple life, where are your dirty dishes, unkempt hair, absolute complacency.

Then go ahead and change your circle of friends. Completely, man. If among your friends there is the person you admire, not someone to emulate professionally, intellectually, we are friends, apparently also is the cause of your stagnation. Be selfish when it comes to communication, it works. Where to look for useful contacts? We wrote about this, but the main rule, as rightly noted by one of our reader, – seek enthusiastic people, those with fire in his eyes will tell you about your job, your hobby, or perhaps your plans for the future. With them, by the way, just standing hanging out. Let you get rid of the charms of drunken orgies, but will have access to measures of a very different nature, where you can get a business important Dating.Gradually you will begin to form a healthy social circle, and, consequently, will change the environment in which to operate will become much easier. It is quite difficult absolute psychological fall out, but if you climb a little higher, opportunities will be much greater. Try to show social activity. I’m not talking about clubs, and a visit to municipal events, all kinds of public councils or lectures.

By the way, about the lectures. They often hold free or for a few hundred. And the lecturers can be known in scientific circles people generally, young scientists, professors or unique. Look for thematic communities that are dedicated to the area in which you would like to work. Surely you will be able to find lectures on your future job. But it should not be limited, go for everything. Having a lecture on molecular physics? Stomp! Somewhere I heard that there is a lecture on Carl Gustav Jung? Go ahead, pay the entrance, and listen. Less beer will buy, but will become smarter. Why do it? First, it is another form of leisure that benefits. To listen to the lecturer is much more pleasant than reading the grey pages. Secondly, if you find relevant topics that will start them at least a little to understand. Third, you cut, you generally want to devote my life to programming, or, perhaps, will find something closer.

When you get used to this circle of friends, for this form of entertainment, brains cleared, for sure. Will normally have to read books and to structure their thoughts. The time comes for the painless transition to the next level, which includes regular admission to the University (in General, you should consider specialized courses, not University) and the search for new and better jobs. To get a good job, actually do not need a diploma, and the ability to make a good impression on the employer, and then, of course, the ability to work responsibly and to show initiative. Look for a promising company where there is a real opportunity for career growth. Along the way, take care of business, I’m serious, try to find a secondary source of income: side projects, freelance, opening an online store. Make a side income hobby to work was a pleasure, and the brain perceived this activity as a leisure.More money – more opportunities. After some time, the purchase of the machine will be possible, gonna look for a normal apartment, and maybe buy, if things go downhill. Will not be superfluous skill of good old savings. Many do not realize how much money they spend on blatant nonsense.

As you can see, you can’t instantly change your life. Do it gradually, but every day, and after two years you’re a different person.

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