How to live by their rules, if the loved ones don’t believe in you
The sad truth is that people who are supposed to help you (girlfriend, friends, parents) often don’t believe in your crazy dream. They support you will not. For various reasons, even the best of intentions. They are afraid that you will fail, which will break your life, and you relied on them a kind word, support, for their involvement in the difficulties that are sure to await you on the path of self realization — the life by their own rules.For example, you want to leave his familiar place and start making a living out of creativity. Pragmatic parents don’t even want to hear about it, because they prepared you for the bar, or, in extreme cases, hoped to place in your hands their business. But it’s your life, so make mistakes and choose your path but you. Now, they listen to your «brilliant» idea, but I can’t find any rational arguments. I think that you’re crazy and life is flushed down the toilet.
Friends are not better — they are often, perhaps unconsciously, carry your possible success on real stagnation. They don’t want to break friendships, so they ask this vexing question: «why are you doing this?» If your friends aren’t nerds, they will ask you: «how are you going to do?».
Girlfriend can feign interest in your «ambitious plans», but it can also be skeptical. And it’s unfair when the person you share the bed, do not believe in your talents. Just most people prefer stability and predictability, even if it is saturated with the oppressive boredom. Stability, as you know, and created a human society.
Can be long to find the reason for their skepticism, but not everyone has the strength to get to the truth. Perhaps your family think you’re naive and stupid, or they don’t want you to waste time. But you know what? You should not rely on their opinion.
You don’t need their approval
From a very early age, our identity is formed by the approval and recognition of others. It starts with our parents, friends at school and continues until death. Didn’t notice that the older you get, the more your ego requires approval? It becomes a vicious circle that undermines the clarity of thought and ties our identity to other people’s opinions.
Ask yourself: what makes ones opinion more important than his own? And you answer this question — nothing. Accountability should be only to yourself and no one else. Just think of that moment when you decide to do something unique for yourself, life or the world, is the same moment when you lose the need for approval. Otherwise, you just won’t work. But if you’re still doing something just for praise, then the game is not worth the candle.
Feel the beauty of the world
Have you ever felt the world is such a big soap bubble on the edge of which you sit? A little more and he will burst, and you will fall down. Familiar? Is the feeling that arises when you remain with your desires one-on-one. And it’s silly to expect support, because you moved away from the center of any «normality» that can tell you just about the most boring things on the planet. Meanwhile, the world around us is so beautiful and terrible at the same time, he doesn’t need saving guide to life, which would be the same for everyone. Such leadership will not come up with no computer, no genius and no authoritarian government.
Beauty lives in animals, in mankind, stones and rocks, in the arts and even in business. If you feel that you live it, you will never need the words of support — you and understand that you are doing everything right.
Take some responsibility
So, you understand that the world is filled with beauty (just don’t become a hippie!), and realized that you don’t need to throw words of encouragement to you all out». The last step is the awareness of responsibility… to yourself.
I doubt you will see that you get a little crazy. It’s sad, but to correct this attitude will be difficult, because they (friends, girlfriend, parents) can’t see the world the way you see it. And they are not to blame — just other people, that’s all.
From the time canonical «spider-Man» took everything into his head the phrase, which remains «alive» others «With great power comes great responsibility». And this is true, but the responsibility should pump already in the early stages, so you could make a good leap up. Nobody will help you, you so want it. But that’s the essence of life according to the rules you wrote for himself. You have to learn self-reliance, to believe in themselves and understand their weaknesses. Friends, parents, girls — they will be for you part of the crowd, who trusts his own eyes, but they do not affect your decisions. And when you start to get something cool, then, over time, the people around you will start to believe in your business.