How to gain respect, if you missed that chance



Hello, dear journal!!! And words cannot describe how much I love to read you. Thank you for the work you are doing.

Here’s my question: how to get respect, if you already lost that chance, when it was necessary to establish itself as a man who can fight back? Once upon a time in high school, I missed a couple of insults in his address and from that moment it started. Now it is very difficult to answer some flow in my direction. I don’t know why this is happening. I do Boxing and I understand that I can cut down any offender. The sport I came to University (I’m studying in the country), but all the young people of the city still sees me as weak etc. I don’t even know how to respond to insults from students. I do not have a particularly sharp tongue, to immediately come up with an interesting response to the insult. Well, beat the students too, like something is not right. Also don’t know how to behave when in my direction you fly all the studs from the girls. What do I do and how to behave in these situations?

PS I hope for your help!

The answer

Hello, dear reader! We love you even more, and after such a confession you want to work with double diligence. But first, please answer the question.

What kind of city is this that after a couple the way you start to despise? No, seriously. How so? Usually people (normal people), after school acting reserved or arrogant, as with an unfamiliar person. It is later, behind start to remember and Express. What did you do?

Maybe these jokes, there is nothing offensive, and you’re just being dramatic. Well attached to you Klitschko, so what, keep it simple. Most often, people who use these images do not belong to them as insulting, defaming the honor. They use them as nothing, a parasite, not investing in it sense and a desire to offend. In the old days such that the image formed by many modern names. So, maybe you’re just dramatic and aggravate the situation, just exactly the word you don’t like? I had a friend Sasha, who was offended that they called joy (he was a real joy), and then nothing was used. Of course, if you a homosexual not called, because you know, if so called, then it’s worse than all.

Well, bring the situation to total drama, he continued to offend, to requests to stop and serious conversations only made the situation worse. Let’s say you live in a small village, and after each humiliation through the village on a moped «Karpaty» passing Herald, which in the megaphone broadcasts, and how humiliated. But what are these images? You were bullied? Beat? Bullied and humiliated, in the best traditions of films about teenagers that come to take revenge on the school with a shotgun?If so, catch one by one, beat in the face, and tearing his shirt. Will not be respected, and just count the sick and dangerous psychopath. Someone will be spared, who, sauvageau the power will go to the contact. All, of course, exaggerated, but the point is valid — you can’t fight for ourselves, to defend themselves. Don Corleone gave more accurate instructions on how to behave with offenders. But even he would advise to put down at the place with a cool head and a sense of personal dignity. Beat immediately is not necessary. If you can politely, calmly and in a straight line to explain that the person behind these words, the arrogance of the villains will be less. Did not understand, started to ridicule further, and serious action to take. If your circle of friends appreciated the force — means it is necessary to show it.

It would be interesting to know how are your relations. You arrive and immediately from all sides in your address insults fly? You must have your social circle and people before remember the insulting nickname exchange a couple of standard phrases. Here also it is necessary to act, scoring on the opinion of students. Well pupils and students, do not communicate with them, what are they to you. Just tell me, as you all well in your town, as you’re having fun, I wonder how you things went uphill. Nothing to brag about? Think they going to check? In a Mature adult society, children’s resentment forget immediately when offended achieves some success. Successful people jealous, but at the same time, are drawn to them, hoping to get at least some benefit from communicating with them. Ask the remaining friends to support the myths, of course, if you have them and they can rely on. But just enough to be successful, dress well, to help loved ones, to look at you differently. And if you behave like an elephant in a pack of mongrels, calmly, ignoring the yapping, go towards your goals and succeed, then soon the barking does not become audible. If at least some people will treat you normally, then soon others will catch up.

A friend of mine that the school proved to be a clown did so, and, you know, ride! No one was not taken seriously, when former classmates remembered him, as a rule, not without question, «He’s the same moron?» I’m not saying that he is in the process of communicating, after school, had to laugh it off, when the interviewee recalled his «adventures». But such adventures are not attractive. So what did he do? Just did not communicate with nesmejalsja, made new friends, and leaving a few people «from a past life», which wasn’t giggling like morons talking with him, I worked really hard was to his goal. And at an age when most of his classmates, those cool and self-sufficient, and used to live dependent on parents, saying the bachelor and master preventing them to find a normal job, this guy was making money and was very popular in his career. However, nothing has changed. Now those friends, no laughter and no hard feelings. For some, he remained a clown, but look at him with envy, and former classmates even tried to get in touch with him. But he hasn’t even left the city, began to behave like an adult.You easier, you’re in another city. What prevents you to send the whole dog pack in the place where they got out into the world, starting a new life and aspiring to something great? If the hometown is still large, and densely populated, then there are no problems, start a new circle and interact only with the appropriate mates and come to success. And then going to drive to his hometown as a master with the Gypsies. In the end, the offenders are older, no longer sarcastically joke (if you did not give a reason). But if you succeed — too complicated and long and need to gain the respect of emergency methods, it can be through the position of power, but not the fact that it will help.

In any case, respect to seek only those who deserves it, who respects himself, and is behaving decently towards other people. No rudeness, dishonesty, podlivaya fecal masses in tea and other vagaries. Remember that.

I hope that the words might seem offensive, not hurt you. Criticisms need to be taken sensibly. Good luck to you!

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