How to find the strength to go on, if no friends

Question

Hello, dear editors! Accidentally came across your website about six months ago, now there are it often. Very much read, really helped. I sincerely believe that you are driven by the power of «ideas» and kind. «Viva la manygoodtips.com!», in General. The question is: it so happened that the path of life with friends dispersed, specifically. Communicate and make a purely memory and respect for the old friendship, although each in itself, and no one that does not support, and does not approve. Yes, and it’s not the most difficult, as it turned out. It proved difficult to move alone, nobody will help Council, do not approve. Now only himself and push, and praise, and here I am depressed… How to find the strength or any thoughts about this? The issue for me personally, it was vague and hard, and experience was not enough to solve it myself, so turned to you. Sincerely, thank you!

The answer

Viva la dude! Your question was a long time coming to the answer, but needed, otherwise you could turn into useless chatter. But we do not love, Yes, and you probably know it.

So listen to us carefully, maybe you don’t like our opinion. Most of our old acquaintances, most of the «friends» of the life of the young and inexperienced gives your life meaning. This «friendship» is not called actually. Yes and it effects most often detrimental to your opportunities. You’re just wasting your time with people who are strangers to you for a long time. And what ways parted, manna from heaven.

But now you’re faced with loneliness and lack of support. Although this alone support, in your own words, it was not. So what to do in this case? The scenarios are on the surface. You can, of course, to withdraw into themselves and to continue to pull all their problems on their backs, make mistakes, push yourself and be sad. But smart guys not do that, if they, of course, do not live as a hermit somewhere in the Himalayas. Smart people do it differently.

First and foremost, you must understand what you need from the friendship. You’re such a dreamer, and leave all the «high» arguments for later. Put a specific goal. Let’s say you’d like one a couple times a month to get drunk in a bar and pour out his soul to refresh their psychological state. Or do you want to discuss with him some cool movies. Maybe you want to debate about molecular physics? Based on their interests, their work, their experience. As a result, you get some picture, which is more or less accurate.

With this «picture» begin their quest that will last a lifetime. You know what we: you should make new friends. Pay special attention to various informal pooling of interests. Join them, start to communicate simply. Almost every city has such formations. Young entrepreneurs, for example, often organize clubs, where they discuss their professional activities, and the one which is better to buy the toaster for normal sandwiches.

University teachers often go out in small mobs and attacked the wine shop, talking about philosophy, history, poetry. The important thing is to surround yourself with people who will encourage your development who have the experience and knowledge that can be useful to you in professional and personal sense. It’s kind of an old truth. Back in the old days it was said: «If you want to learn how to fight, then fight with those who are stronger than you.»

You will receive support, approval, after all, is a serious relationship on the background of interest. It’s logical. If your friend is damn not understand cooking and never was interested in it and praise you can not, if you were the best cook this side of the globe.

Surround yourself with good people, surround yourself with professionals and strong personalities – and you will have happiness.

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