How to divorce her husband
Good evening, friend!
See, here recently, very often ask you for advice, and that’s fine, so you trust. I’m a girl, but I read your magazine frequently, I can’t say that every article is interesting to me, still have exclusively male subjects, but basically I like everything. Probably the fact that my childhood had more friends among boys than friends. And now little has changed.
I’ve been thinking to ask you for advice or not, but finally decided, as only men can answer me, how to convey to someone close what I want to say to him. Now the question: I want to leave my husband, with whom she lived for 11 years, but can’t find the right words. How and what to say to make clear that it’s over, but it does not hurt?!
It’s never just one reason care for a period of time. Of course, there is the main, where the question about the possibility of saving the relationship is already decided for me personally, no, I’m not someone else, and this decision is not sudden. I’m just tired of waiting man. We are not married and have no children. He doesn’t want to yet, but this «now» is too long. And my clock is ticking faster. There is no more sense in life together, have squandered it in such a way. We cooled down, and I’m probably stronger than he was at the moment. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to believe him and to trust as it was in the beginning of our relationship. Even if now he will tell me: «Go make a baby» – I do not want your child to wish in the future the father who must be persuaded to make responsible decisions. The problem is that it is, in fact, a good man in this conversation for me is very painful.
Matured have been boiling, but without the scandals, the allusions, and the conversations were, but since I am a quiet person, I think it will be kind of a surprise, but not without reason. But, although important for me, I have to respect him: he taught me a lot, also have mutual friends, work, etc. You may think that I’m boring grey mouse who listens to everything she is told. No, I always worked with me comfortably, and finally, I really strongly and passionately loved. And that’s why I want to leave with dignity. I want to understand, as if you men could sincerely make such an important and painful decision for you? How do I act in this situation?
Thank you in advance for comments and any responses.
Dude, don’t panic! You know we usually don’t answer a woman’s questions, but until then direct hand stretched, because many of us probably know this guy, which says a girl. So sorry, but I still try to answer the girl and thereby make life easier for the guy who got into this difficult situation. Of course, questioning the friend, we will also help you. In General, make life easier for everyone.
Immediately turn to the girl who asked the question. If you hang out on our site, you probably noticed that we are not particularly cautious, when talking about women’s field. We don’t hurt girls, but you have to understand that there are exceptional cases. Just want to say that you knew you might face criticism, which can even wait for you in the comments. Or for you all would go smoothly and not have to deal with men’s opinion.
Are you saying you contacted us because you need some man advice. Perhaps you did the right thing, because, most likely, on some girly forum, you would say: «Throw the goat soon! You just gave this asshole the best years of his colorful life!». If one of your girlfriends left a remark, then I don’t even require proof.
To get started: think about your words. You say that this man deserves respect, he should be happy you were, but what now? There are two options: either you’re the one to blame and why did you hook up with a man who did not plan to have a family with you first, or you created a problem out of nothing.
Just do not say that you did not know about his intentions, what he promised you a family and children or that you did not discuss such. When people start a serious love relationship, they agree on all the important nuances on the shore. You knew, would you have with him family or not. And 11 years of your life together was supposed to be for you at least some kind of signal.
Okay, even if you have lived a year together. At this time you, probably, spoke about the future, shared plans. Do you not immediately alerted his desire not to burden themselves with marriage and children? A year, two, five. 5 years. Isn’t it time? Like many women start to panic about this at the very beginning of a relationship.
11 years it took to understand what are the plans for the life of your husband! Hmm… Seems a lot. Even for a girl. Rather, you first figure out what is wrong with you he’s not planning anything serious. Sex, Laundry, dinner – all is good, but he never wanted to have a family with you. You chose to live with him for so many years.
He’s also not stupid and knows what you want from him. By the way, he also goes quite wrong. Could be a long time to say that you will not continue, and manly broke off your relationship. As you would not hurt to read it, but most likely you just got used to live with each other. You both is very convenient, so why deprive yourself of comfort?
If you are one of those women who birth in the mind itchy worm that is mandatory procreation, it was necessary to act quickly. And now you’re talking about some ticking clock. Needed immediately cut to the dude whose life goal is similar to yours. Yes, the guys are too fixated on procreation, so maybe you’ll get lucky looking for a partner.
You want to know about how you and him split up. Offer a standard call. Without high words: «I loved you so much, and you do not want to share my eggs with multiple sperm». Just explain what you’re looking for a little more. Say thank you for a great experience and what emotions it gave you.
No need to deliver so, as they like to do girls with tears and snot. If you want to look decent, stay calm and be prepared to argue your decision.
Another thing, if you really love each other. So you just build your story! Why do you then, like a maniac, faster want to have kids and why it’s important to you? More than confident that your man is in no hurry to take decisive action because you have rabies of the uterus. And he’s a very responsible approach to the issue, to have children.
Girls with childhood mother saying that we should tell the guy about marriage, family and other serious things. But in fact it only works against you. If you just stopped and just enjoyed your life together, then most likely you already had your passport stamped and a fresh birth certificate.
If you regularly nag a man about marriage, then it is even less will want to associate themselves with these the knot. And fuck is with you only out of inertia. Many women make a fatal mistake when they themselves begin to hint at the wedding and more. A man wants to be the first to tell myself that you never knew, so it doesn’t look like it was forced.
I hope you will be a woman from the «have my baby for myself.» Of course, I understand that the instincts and stuff, but to use brains, too, was not forbidden. Hope that could help to understand your situation. Give my regards to your man!
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