How to distinguish the alpha male from bullies?


In the corporate world working for two dudes. Both middle managers. Appreciate them both, they’re both quite confident. Only one of them is the alpha male, and the other is just a bully.

How to understand what the difference is? Maybe you’re one of them, but don’t even realize? And why would that even bother you?

Tell you the root cause immediately: usually, the alpha males get the best females. Women are almost always looking for the alpha male, to have fun, to have a meaningful relationship and even get married. But bullies and if it will be successful for a short while: in the end the cards will be revealed, and a wonderful woman will fly away in search of the same alpha male.

Or here’s another reason: alpha males are true leaders. Most bullies are cowards hiding behind a mask of aggression. Alpha male solves the problem. A bully in itself is a big problem. Who do you think most of them raise at work?

At least these two reasons enough to make you wonder who you are: an alpha male or just a bully. Let’s see how they differ.

Scene one

At work during the presentation of the subordinate bullies making a mistake. A bully ridicules him, calls meaningless, declares that if it is not corrected, it will take off from work – and all this in front of other people.

The alpha male calmly corrects the error and continues the presentation, and then assigns a subordinate aside and explains in detail what went wrong, how to avoid such mistakes in the future and answering questions.

What’s the difference?

A bully always wants to be the center of attention. He is trying to dominate always and everywhere, and uses a threatening and aggressive gestures to intimidate the interlocutor.

Alpha male is just looking for the best way to do their job and respect others. The way it looks in others ‘ eyes, not particularly worried about.

Scene two

The guys went to lunch. A bully will rant. The alpha male mostly listens and thinks of his own Affairs.

What’s the difference?

For teaser most importantly, how it is perceived by others, how it affects them and how it is successful. He constantly worried about someone else’s opinion.

Alpha males don’t need to leave a certain impression. It never even crosses their mind.

Scene three

If the bully is the project leader, he dictates the rules and requirements, refuses to listen to other people’s suggestions and threatens sanctions if she did not obey. In the end, team spirit is falling when used with a management style of «Shut up and do what I say.»

Alpha male explains what the purpose of the work, distributes tasks, encourages initiative and gives an example. He assesses the situation and goes straight to the goal. The morale of the team high, and its members feel like winners.

What’s the difference?

The Heckler is behaving in a way that others struggle to Express themselves. Everything he does and says, are intended to create the impression. The rest is secondary. So badass is not only unpleasant to work with, he can do much harm to the company and demoralize the team.

The alpha male knows how to organize the team because he is a leader by nature. He leads by example.

What makes a man an alpha male?

It’s like with sports games you see the ball come to him – push. Everything happens faster than you can think of. The alpha male is so constituted, he sees a situation, assesses it logically and working on it, based on previous experience – sometimes it takes less time than you need to read the text. No hesitation: see – action – result.

What makes a bully?

Now consider another hero of our text. He’s also assertive, decisive, stubborn, not afraid to Express himself and does everything as it sees fit. He is not afraid to go against someone and knows how to dominate. But he is not the alpha male.

This guy is often mistaken for the alpha male are the people who see his determination and energy. He probably even claims to be the alpha male. But in reality he’s just a bully.

How to distinguish one from the other?

These character types can be readily in a conflict situation. The alpha male is always (usually quietly) watching what was happening, and analyzes what has to be done to have it exactly as he wants. He thinks he can affect the world just by being careful and taking the necessary actions, if you notice for that slightest opportunity. He does it naturally: it comes to mind that he could fail – the alpha male just directed to your goal. In order to achieve it, it may take several attempts, but he won’t give up until you reach your goal or until you reach the point that he needed to change strategy. When the alpha male is confident that this time does everything right, he’ll try again and will try until the idea will fail. And what happens when he makes a mistake?

If the alpha male is wrong, it extracts a lesson from this and continues to do business. Life for him is full of possibilities. He likes to win and succeed in it. If something does not work, he understands how to avoid it, rises and leaves. But the bullies are too busy thinking about what others think of them, and continue to go through the time of their own failures again and again, and the alpha male never wastes time in self-flagellation.

A bully will never confront whoever is bigger and stronger than his (or rarely, or only by mistake). He is content with easy targets and always looking for a big turnout.

Bullies like to stand behind the podium. They love it when their victory sees. They are always worried about how others perceive them, but behind a mask of aggression and violence they are actually scared. Bullies will tremble in fear if they have to fight someone really strong.

Alpha males – they are the exact opposite. They are less likely to think about themselves. Their energy is directed to understand the situation, to do business and to continue the movement.

If you compare the animal world with the human society, the alpha male wolf and an alpha male – a man similar in many ways. They are both true leaders, they are protecting their loved ones, absolutely true and confident. They may have outstanding physical data (although not always) and often remain in the shadows, until will not need to act. They will never accept that they have some body (even in the army alpha males are living independently). And they are the best leaders around their environment.

A real alpha male – strong, smart, knows how to organize the team. He leads and protects. And he likes it.

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