How to change your life when you get a dog

When in the house there is a dog regardless of its sex, breed and nature of your life is changing dramatically. And often for the better. But not without a strange, funny dog-male weirdness.

Not master, but father


As soon as you bring the dog, there’s no going back (unless you like full Mudela, won’t give him back to the shelter). They’re like children: too cry, too capricious, too sick and too expensive. This wildly adorable creation can not do anything. It had been torn away from mommy’s Boobs, and now you’re his nurse. And you need him 24 hours, seven days a week.

Be prepared to stand in the middle of the night several times for several consecutive months, you will have to carefully look at what this weirdo sniffing during the first exit on the street. And then another to remove the endless bowel. But after a while, you will like this father’s love for this funny bark substance that you will perceive themselves not only as «dad» furry shit.

Dog photographer

Over time you’ll realize that your puppy is the most cute, funny and beautiful creature on the planet. Much nicer, funnier and prettier than your girlfriend, and problems less and love more. This fact is a side effect: you will likely begin to clog the social channels his photographs. And then – even worse: the world instagram accounts dogs. Already have an account funny pug and other dog, so you have competition big. However, despite this fatoumatta, the fact remains: your dog is much nicer to look at than you are a woman.

Difficulty walking

Soon, when your best friend, son, brother grow up, you go to answer nature’s call outside. Like you don’t like it, but even pausing for drunk and coming home in the morning, you have to give a roommate to stretch your bones and empty riches of the stomach and bladder.


I really hope that you’re not going to keep him company and show by example. But be on guard, scattered everywhere dirtiest and delicious shit that your dog need to taste.

And the city is full of dogs of different size: small, hysterical, exploding in the battle of zvezdyuki and healthy, but calm the wolf.But the problem is not so much them, how many in your padavana that when a new friends will be glad to raise the ears, even if they’re saggy, and try to make friends with the establishment, even if not very desirable. And dog friendship often ends in mating.

My wonder-dog was constantly trying to ride their flea-bitten companions a moment later after they met, regardless of gender or size. So be alert, do not let him repeat the mistakes of your ancestors, let him take an example from you. Otherwise you will have to get to work, to split the bones with his bitch to raise a puppy and forget about the carefree life.

A new accessory in the house – dog hair


This is inevitable as the March of the roaring cats. Just suck it up, look at the coated fibers of the carpet and clothes through his fingers.

Hair of the dog will follow you everywhere, so stock up on rollers for cleaning clothes. Shave his head is pointless – he does not approve, to have them on the principle «who more than all the hair he removes the» pointless, I tried, he just plays with a rag. Just accept or make a short-haired dog – it fray less.

Evaluation of a person based on his reaction

Relationship with his Sobakina is based on the maximum trust of the Union. So you evaluate people by his reaction. If it barks, it means people are bad, then if-Oh, that means you are not ashamed. Even if it’s old friends, you begin to wonder why your «Artemon» so viciously hysteria, barely seeing them, and grins when they try to pick him up. Not that shit they hour?


Very expensive, especially when he is still a child and with a good, thoroughbred pedigree. Going to buy only kosher, baby food from organic deposits of beef in the Alpine meadows.

He can’t, it is impossible, from the us pork blows and the like. The vet you’ll visit more often than your doctor. Generally, you don’t spend as much on this yapping cattle. Opinion: «When are you going to eat the bones?!» will visit more often than good mood. It is annoying, but it is impossible to refuse him as her child. The key word here is «fun» and not «expensive».

Some people start mongrel and mongrel. They are more hardy and resilient.

Test of strength


This skotinka, of course, incredibly sweet and makes your rough heart was glowing and warm, but in fact it arrogance, like market-women. He’s a personality, it needs to evolve, and so the devil horns will appear more often than a playful puppy’s really cute. With time you will understand what he is still an animal. On the plate to leave nothing, because your friend instantly to cleanse it from the content. My dog loved to drink coffee. And strong, without sugar. But okay coffee, this black drunk loved wine and beer, and at the same time, like a real man, prefer to eat salted fish.

He will never be satiated. Even if you just fed, he’ll be full of suffering Jewish eyes to look at you plaintively whine and despair, unprecedented even the soldier’s mother to ask to share food. And if he didn’t, is blatantly hitting you with a hand absolutely indignant face.


Be prepared for the fact that all the furniture will be nibbled, stripped Wallpaper and carpets soiled. By the way, hide the wires, because they are so delicious! Little demonton will want to play, and therefore to nip at your fingers while you’re lying and not bothering anyone. He screams, rubbing his belly on the pillows and legs are your friends, and then to wrap crazy circles around the room. And yet this beast is very good snaps.

It will become your best friend

You never know how much you can love a dog until you find her. It will become your best friend and know you better than you know yourself. And such devotion and love, even despite the fact that you haven’t walked, not fed, and generally behaved shamelessly, you won’t find anywhere else. No creature capable of such remorse for what he did as a dog. Enough phrase: «Who did this?» to squirt started to cry and lick. Are your kids ever going to send you for this, and dogs aren’t.

This is a crazy and sometimes terribly harmful creature will make you absolutely happy and will become a member of the family. That’s why we wrote «person» instead of «face», «hands» not «feet». And there is nothing better than serious minutes to be filled up with him in an embrace, with the substance for which you are still God. Only the dog will whine to you when you’re drunk you sing the song shufutinski. Dog and drunk mother-in-law.

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