How to become the very stone wall
In modern society gender roles have changed greatly, but most of my friends girlfriends still want the relationship to be the husband, as behind a stone wall. And as this wall to be?
1. Be a safe haven. Sometimes a woman wants to cry on your shoulder. When she does that, don’t look at her with astonishment and say something like: «Hey, what happened?» Don’t you dare say that will hug her, when you finish this level of video games. Need to be next to her immediately and begin to console her. You must be a real Bastion of peace, strength and understanding. When she’s in your arms she needs to feel safe, like nothing in the world could harm her. Let her understand that expressing emotions is normal, put his focus on her. The same applies to your children. When they are bad and when they need you, you need to be there.
2. Untangle the problem. Often a woman feels worried because of some problems. Her feelings and thoughts tangled in a huge knot. Your business is slow to unravel. It is not necessary from the beginning to offer solutions at random. Instead, she began the question: what’s bothering her, than she is concerned. Be interested and attentive to what she says. She really wants someone to discuss the problem. Ask questions, she will answer you, and perhaps thus is born the solution to her problems.
3. Think of a plan… or not invent. There is a popular cliché: that if a woman tells you about his problem, you don’t have to solve it. Sometimes the right thing to do, but not always.
True that you don’t need to offer solutions as soon as she opens her mouth. As I said, untangling problems and arranging everything on the shelves — just what you need your friend, just to discuss their problems. So ask her directly: «do You need help in solving this problem? Or you just want to discuss?»
If she is interested the solution, you have to Shine. Make a plan of action to help her friend solve the problem. If necessary, explain to her that everything is simple, you will take responsibility and arrange everything. For example, your friend comes to you in tears and says that she has many Affairs and she should also still work. You should answer: «We will do this. I’m taking the dog to the vet, then ignore packages in the mail, and then change the oil. You only need to finish the job. Focus on that, and I’ll take care of it.»
When you see that a friend is sick, you buy medicines. If it is difficult to make a decision, sit down and sign for it before all the «pros» and «cons».
Never say: «don’t worry about it.» She’s already worried, therefore, clear that for her the problem is significant. Such words would only piss her off she’ll think you think she can’t distinguish the important from the unimportant. Instead, it is better to say: «I’ll take care of myself.»
Grieve later. If there are tragic events that affect the entire family, let it all rests on you. Take care of all the business that I have to take care of. If your friend can’t get out of bed, cook, clean and talk to people, do it for her.
You know: someone might say that feelings are harmful and unhealthy. It is not that you have to lock them in yourself. It is necessary to follow the ancient rule: women and children first. They can give up the slack. Then, when they recover, give up the slack you can and you will.
This does not mean that you should feel genuine emotion. You naturally have feelings, but you are also responsible for your family. Sometimes you can cry together with his wife: it is important to know that you too are grieving. But there are situations when you need to be strong, you must gather and lead the family forward.
To Express emotions in a Mature and cool. To be a stone wall, does not mean not to have any emotions. Always lock the feelings inside — the hard way. It will not add stability in your relationship, and will only make you vulnerable to more serious trouble.
Women of the many reasons I’m afraid of relationships. Will it hurt her? Will he be faithful? Will be able to provide for his family? Can he take the responsibility? If you hide your feelings from a friend, her fear will only increase. Therefore, to be a stone wall means to Express their emotions and anxiety a healthy, sober way. This will only strengthen your relationship.
This is especially important to remember when you and your friend are going through a difficult period. At this time I do not want to be a wall, and to erect between the two of you. However, the quarrel — the period of greatest sensitivity in the relationship, so the conflict is the best time to show her that she has nothing to fear. Don’t threaten that you’ll leave her, don’t lose control. Speak calmly.
Take care of all things. To be a stone wall is to be reliable in large and in small things. Woman it’s important that you not only did something supersnake, but daily mundane things. If you will be reliable every day, you’ll be reliable and on special occasions.
To take care of matters — so do whatever makes your friend feel confident. To have ambition at work, to budget, to plan your free time, stay physically healthy, etc. It means you are a hundred percent can be trusted; if you say «make», then you do.