How to be after the divorce?



Gentlemen, good afternoon!

Thank you for the great resource.

Want to submit an idea for the next article that is relevant, I think, not only for me, but about divorce and life after. Among the interesting articles about «how to find the right one» or «not to slow down in life», as something no Bro-instructions on how to behave and not make mistakes after a divorce. I am 29 years old, and it so happened that I was in the midst of this problem and the «only» was not «the same», moreover, we managed to have an heir. It would be interesting to read about the subject not the letter of the law, but in General: how to accept that your child is now living with new boyfriend ex-wife; how to spend those rare days with the child; how to raise a child in a similar situation, since in principle is already problematic influence it, etc.

Another point which I would like to see in the article, is relationships after divorce. Although after the divorce I quickly recovered and regained his financial position, but with me already more than once so that seems to be fine talking to a girl, but when she finds out I was married and I EVEN have a child, somehow it gradually merges. Of course, I can’t blame them in a similar situation, I also not ready, so to speak, to help get on his feet someone else’s child.

Well, my message turned out as a suggestion-question. Thank you.

The answer

Hello, my friend! Are very pleased that our publication you had in mind, and it was here that you decided to seek answers to the eternal and difficult questions. Lately, the editors received more and more interesting emails from grateful readers. We are glad of it. To be honest, we don’t always have time to answer them, so some people have to wait quite a long time and someone generally leave unanswered, because the answers to their questions fully in our articles. But the topic of divorce, we were not so happy to respond. In the future we will write more detailed article, and maybe more than one.

We now proceed directly to the question. It is unlikely your situation is truly unique, because divorce is familiar to people in our country are the result of ill-considered relationships. Therefore, we repeat every time that it is necessary to think hundred times before taking on the responsibility for another man’s wife in particular. Prevalence doesn’t make it any less painful. We need to move forward, to do something further, not to stand still, to begin a new relationship. Actually rarely can a man do without a woman. Another fact of life that can be overcome only by making itself emasculating.

Some guys, not shiny integrity, just ignore the unpleasant aspects of his biography. And this is a normal tactic, if you want an uncomplicated relationship without commitment, just for sex. But when you focus on more to hide something from a woman is useless, she will know what you would not have been a world-class spy. This suggests that to talk about such facts of life you should almost never on the first date, the first conversation, when the conversation out of range «how are you doing and good weather.» Of course, when you’re lying in bed with a girl after rough sex, and then say: «you Know, I have a child,» the person will be in a state of shock. It is better to disclose all the cards – so a friend will realize that you can be trusted.

What else can you say about your relationship with other girls who aren’t happy about your divorce and fatherhood? Here they are in some measure understandable. Women, because they are basically just pretending to be stupid, in fact they are all the calculate in advance. And your friend would not want you to share with your child. Take the same Christmas that she wants to spend it with you together, somewhere in the mountains, and you promised your child on these days entertainment. She can turn a blind eye once, twice, and the third will think that this isn’t the life dreamed.

No one to blame here. Each is in its own difficult situation. In life we often have to choose, and the choice is difficult. You may will often be «between two fires» and nobody will give good advice. Only you should decide what to do.

As for your further relations with the child, the fact that you’re worried about this already adds points to you as a father. Many dads are easy to forget about your children as soon as the signed the divorce papers. They not only do not participate in their upbringing, but financially not very generous, especially when you have a new family and new children. But you, as we understand, is not like this. You’re still a father and, of course, you want to make a contribution to the education of the child and to spend time with him in agreement. How to accept the fact that your child is living with the new boyfriend your ex? Just accept, and everything. How people put up with much in this life. Most importantly, you need to make sure that your child this boyfriend is good, not hurting it. If the child is comfortable with him, don’t be selfish, be happy for their child, that he may be now two a great father. Some children grow up without parents.

If after the divorce you and your wife remain on good terms, no problems generally should not be. Try to continue to maintain the same relationship. Don’t forget about your child when you meet a new «the one». The children are very much affected everything, so let his father under any circumstances and see him not only on his birthday.

And, of course, cheer up and don’t despair. Girlfriends love confident men. You need to show confidence when searching for a new relationship. All my self-pity or frustration at the errors, if any, throw away. Never sorry. You just go on, and the world is too big to dwell on depressing moments and failures. Be on your street festival.

We we wish you to cope with this situation!

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