How not to zafeylit first serious relationship
New life, new problems. You have to plow like an ox, to pay the bills, perhaps, to combat unemployment or to vegetate, not putting into practice their talents. If all this is still attached and the relationships that begin to develop in an adult, can and does warp you. How to start a serious relationship and not to lose face?
First, if you’re looking for a serious, long relationship — maybe the rest of your life, which can also end with a marriage, you have to be honest with yourself. Enough to pretend that a pleasant time — a good reason to meet up with a girl, as well as sex. If a serious long-term relationship is your goal, everything else will be a waste of time. Of course, if you don’t want all this garbage with the obligations, there is nothing wrong with sex for sex and to hang out with girls just so — it all depends on your priorities. Sex for one night, too, leads nowhere: all clear, he for one night.
What to do: Instead, aim at a relationship in which you see potential. Pay attention to her views, which are of value to you: the idea of marriage, political stance, sexual preference and the like. She will be with you your whole life, it matters.
Let’s say you started a potential long relationship. I bet you now the most serious problem is the time? Both of you are very busy, and if you are lucky, you are busy at the same time, and free time spend together. If not, you will have trouble. It is important to understand that it has duties of, and it is difficult to find the time to just lie in bed with you on the couch. To understand and to accept. The same applies to her. If your free time is valuable, of course, you will spend it on each other. Sometimes you won’t even catch it — but so it goes.
What to do: it is Important to plan spending time together in advance, and during these times, you have both free as birds. A couple of nights a week — try to combine them.
Money, not surprisingly, is another stumbling block. The University had just split you to the outside world and didn’t give you enough money. What to do? Sharing receipts is 50:50 or all will pay the one who gets more? You should immediately discuss your economic issues.
What to do: the Main thing — to agree on the beach and immediately to discuss the changes, if someone dramatically change income. Really should make the decision in advance and to compromise, because to understand on a place and remove leaky pockets is always stressful.
They happen all disputes and quarrels are inevitable. Sometimes even frequent. Usually the most serious arguments people give the most minor questions: who today takes out the garbage or washing dishes. Need to learn how to fight.
What to do: All these disputes and quarrels over little things happen because we forget that we no longer live by themselves. Changes are observed in the details (she doesn’t want to watch a movie that everyone is talking about) and significant moments (with whose family to celebrate the New year). You have a lot of compromises.
If you’re with someone for a long time, you notice it changes. You change, she changes, relationships change. Sometimes these changes cause problems and lead to separation. Sometimes the problem lies in the lack of change, your life turns into a swamp and gets boring, especially if you take each other for granted.
What you can do to Be prepared for change and accept the fact that the relationship cannot and should not remain unchanged. Many changes are good stasis to endure much more difficult, and movement is life. Sensing the approach of Groundhog day and boring, get off your butt and start something new: Hobbies, travel, Pets — anything so as not to grow mold.
It is not surprising that in this field there are many difficulties. You moved in with her, or she to you? You found a brand new housing? We should not forget about personal space. If you live in one room, it’s hard: there is nothing that destroys relationships, as the inability in time to go somewhere. And finally, housework. Here we all have questions.
What to do: If one of you moved to another, it is necessary to create all conditions: it is now a common house, and hence furniture, and Wallpaper, and everything else should be according to the taste of both of you. As for personal space, sometimes you can go for a walk alone just to be alone with myself. It is important for you and for her, especially right after the fight. The household chores? They should be divided equally. We all tend to overestimate their contribution to joint life and underestimate other people’s efforts. If each of you will strive to do 65% of the whole work, eventually you will reach equilibrium.